It must be a slow day at the sheep shearing and animal husbandry factory today. Sure are a lot of aggys running around on a site that says LONGHORNS on it.
I've come to realize (having several aggy friends most of whom were 2%ers) that any victory for aggy, be it minute or moral, or anything that aggy can delusionally argue that "could" be a victory, especially over Texas, it is made a bid deal of.
Mole hill, let me wave my aggy magic wand and BOOM! You're now a mountain.
Aggy-"we beat you in recruiting this year!"
Longhorn-"actually 8 out of 10 recruiting services including 4 out of the 5 largest say you didn't."
Aggy-"well we beat you where it MATTERS, you know, in head to head battles over recruits"
Longhorn looks around the room at all in attendance, points at aggy and says "is this guy serious?"
SEC members in the room look at each other and then spontaneously break out in SEC chant rhythm with "TAKE THEM BACK! TAKE THEM BACK! TAKE THEM BACK!"
Aggy sees that nobody likes them at this party either but because of 3 years of blind indoctrination, every time they hear any chant with a 3 count rhythm, they involuntarily start chanting "SEC! SEC!SEC!"
Look, I now even the smallest thing that you aggys do, you want it to be important, for it to matter, for you to be able to hold it up to daddy and say, "look daddy, I wiped my own ass today! It was the best ass wiping EVER cause I didn't get any poo on my hands this time!"
And it's sad that you have to be that way. Battered aggy syndrome is not a joke. And we at Texas secretly feel very bad/sad for you even though it doesn't always show. Do you know how I can prove that? Easy.
If a bomb dropped on Norman oklahoma, I would lose zero sleep over it. None. Nada. Fvck those people. I would make bomb jokes for the rest of my life about BOOMer sooner and what not.
I have never, nor will I ever tell a loud mouth aggy to "go practice building a bonfire". I truly feel sorry for you guys, we all do, so that's why we don't low blow you like we would sooners.
There's no rivalry between you and Texas. When you lose more than 2 to 1 ratio in football to us, that's not a rivalry, that's a prison rape.
OU is a rivalry. They actually have the talent and heart to beat us going back over 100 years. I know we lead the series overall, but OU isn't too far behind. That, by definition, is a rivalry.
So please, take your "head to head" recruiting moral victory, get it bronzed, and hang it in your VERY empty trophy case.
Congrats!