Rose's are red
Violets are blue
If she's busy on valentine's day
The side piece is you
That is all.
Violets are blue
If she's busy on valentine's day
The side piece is you
That is all.
A Valentine's Day poem
- Thread starter clob94
- Start date
Roses are red,
Violetes are blue
OU Sucks
And aggies do to.
Violetes are blue
OU Sucks
And aggies do to.
Kinda off topic bit still funny . . .
Happy birthday dear grandma, happy birthday you . . .
And if you live another year, happy birthday then too.
Happy birthday dear grandma, happy birthday you . . .
And if you live another year, happy birthday then too.
Wow Clob, I believe you have a calling,,,,,,
but not sure where!!!!
He keeps that up they will be calling him for the next STD test
Funny you say that--- because I'm reaching a semi-milestone birthday this year, I've gone back in to have a bunch of medical tests run to see how I'm aging. I had a blood draw Friday and wed they called me to tell me to pick up my results. I also had a ham slapping session because I was curious if I could stop bagging because my swimmers were DOA. Excuse me for a moment and I'll run out to my vehicle and get the results for you. Hold please---He keeps that up they will be calling him for the next STD test
Ok. So it's turns out I do not have HBsAG-- whatever that sh!t is.
I also do not have HBV Core Ab. Good to know.
It appears my HCV Ab w/Rix to RIBA is less than 0.1 and the doc assured me that was great.
HIV panel was a negative. Whew.
NexGen was a Pnd result and the doc says that was good as well.
My RPR which is think is syphilis was a negative also. Do no drips for the clob.
Now my HepB Surface Ab said "reactive" and that freaked me out for a moment only until the doc explained that because I was immunized with the twin Rix hepatitis shot, I can't catch it. But it's been in my system, due to the immunization. Clob is all good. Ready for my porn shoot.
Now my swimmers---
Some of y'all better sit down for this one.
My pH was 8.5. Don't know if that matters.
Volume:
Average man--- 1.5ml
Clob-- 6.25ml
Clob can still sling it. Loaded gun baby.
Concentration:
Average man-- 15mill/ml
Clob--- 19.4 mill/ml
Super crowded in there ain't it boys? Like a NYC subway station after new years Eve.
Motility:
Average schmuck-- 40%
Clob-- 48%. I was disappointed I was only 20% higher than the average schmuck.
Total mobile:
Average man- 9 million
Clob--- 58.2 million. Ya b!tches. That's called super sperm.
Morphology:
Average girly man- 4%
Clob--6% --- a full 50% higher than average.
So basically what this report says is I'm bug free and my baby gravy is other worldly. My doctor dampened the sh!t out of my GREAT mood by saying "I must admit, that would be impressive even for a man in his early THIRTIES." I wanted to donkey punch the woman after that.
Hey man, we've talked about everything from kidney stones to colonoscopies in here. And some of it has helped some dudes in here gain a better understanding of what's what. If my super sperm is making you nervous MM, fear not. I promise not to get you preggers. I may have to stand at the other end of the bar from you, but I promise not to get any on you.Only you, clob. Only you, lol.
I think we're both safe from that. I'll let you save that for the female bartenders and patrons, but hey, sling it while you've got it, lol.
You can have all the swimmers in the world, if you keep putting them in the dirty hole They aren't going to do their job.
Now that's not fair bro.
In all honesty, I've been a VERY good boy for quite some time. I've reached the age where I know what I like, and I'm actively pursuing it. I'm not perfect, not by any stretch. But if I do get lucky enough to snag whomever, I would spend my life trying to show her she made the right call.
Now call me old fashioned--- but at the end of that day, what's it mean to accomplish anything if you don't have someone to share it with?
I hate this poem. But I love this poem. Cause it's true.
Who the fvck are you and what did you do with my boy Clob? Clob, if you have a gun to your head and that is why you wrote this, just tell me John Mackovic was your favorite coach, and I'll send the NB police to you. if you were telling me this while your girl was in the room with you, just tell me and I'll understand.
Just don't tell me I have to stop living my life through you, I can't face that truth.
I was speaking with a friend of mine in his upper 40s that married a younger woman mid-30s (both without children). They are going to a fertility clinic and he was explaining the "medical library" in the wank room. We joked how some of they should outsource the job to some of these "happy ending" massage parlors around town.
