9AM – I arrive at Northwest Arkansas regional airport (or whatever the hell it’s called) and the only thing I brought with me is my cell phone and wallet. I have no idea how far the stadium is or where Fayetteville is in conjunction with the airport.
9:10 –I am told that the best thing to do is to catch a cab outside the airport and just have them drive me to Fayetteville. I walk outside the airport and there are no cabs.
9:25 – There are still no cabs. I ask a security officer how I should go about hailing a cab and I’m told that it’s tough to get a cab to come out to the airport. I should probably rent a car or take Big Jim’s shuttle service.
9:30 – I ask the lady behind the counter how far it is to Fayetteville and she tells me 45 miles. It’s a $25 shuttle ride and I decide to just take the shuttle instead of renting a car.
9:35 – The girl driving the shuttle is fairly hot (nice tits). She greets me by telling me that we will lose tonight.
9:40 – I meet up with a new friend – a poster on Orangebloods named TheTower. He also made the trip alone, so we agree to roll together.
9:45 – I ask the girl how long the drive to Fayetteville will take and she tells us 15 minutes. When I tell her that the lady behind the counter said it was 45 minutes away from the airport, the hot young hillbilly said, “My momma would not lie.” I decide to not press the issue.
9:50 – My African-American friend wonders if he’s safe, as we pass a street with three Confederate Rebel flags in their front yards.
10:30 – One hillbilly on the shuttle explains to me that his son was the back-up to Matt Jones in high school and that his son was his equal as a player. Got to give the guy credit though because his house was pimping. As far as Arkansas spreads go, this guy probably had a quarter-million dollar crib on a half-acre of property. That being said, he was still a hillbilly.
10:59 – We get dropped off in front of a bar that I can’t recall, but we go in and it looks like the Dixie Chicken, so we leave. We’re headed for a sports bar around the corner that we saw and we end up walking through a scene straight from the Drag. There are these little sidewalk garage sales going on right in the middle of the main drag and everyone there is a hippy/beat-nik. It was really weird to see it, but I knew I was ready to be home, when a car drives by with Arkansas flags and stickers all over, drives by and gives us the finger and says, “F Texas,”
11:05 – We walk into Big Daddy’s and the entire white trash wait staff is dressed in Brittany Spears skirts and they all have anti-Texas shirts on. “Tuck Fexas”, “Texas sucks”, “We hate Texas,”, ect… not a single pro-Arkansas shirt in sight.
11:10 – We’re told that we can only order drinks right now because the restraint won’t be open for another hour or so. My friend and I order several very hard drinks right off the bat. Five-star generals and something with vodka in it. We both decide that the only way we’re going to survive the trip is to drink…. heavily.
11:15 – Our drinks show up and the shots are in full glasses. But, for 6 bucks, we we’ll like we’re getting a steal.
11:18 – Waitress comes by and she looks like she’s 38. She tells us that Texas sucks (of course) and that she played on the Arkansas softball team last year. That means she’s either 22 or 23. Talk about played out.
11:20 – We start talking to the rest of the wait staff and it turns out that most of the girls are from Texas, but have moved to Arkansas and now hate everything that is Texas. Sounds like Aggie stuff to me.
11:30 – My friend has a lady friend stop by that he somehow knows. She’s ok looking, but not great. After about five more shots, I’d probably consider doing her.
Noon – It’s been a pretty tame time thus far. We’re drinking our livers to a quick death and watching football. The crowd is tame thus far. Maybe the Arkansas crowd isn’t that bad after all.
1PM – The day is starting to pick up. I’m buzzing and haven’t eaten yet. This girl is all over my friend and they decide to “leave for an hour”. I really don’t care because I’m buzzing, football is on and well, I’m hungry.
1:15 – Now I’m by myself and still drinking. Nebraska is losing. Kansas State is getting their ass kicked and I’m listening to a lot of Big 12 sucks stuff from the growing Arkansas crowd.
1:30 – The food arrives. It sucks. I’m pissed. I throw away my food and get a burger because how bad can you mess that up. If you ever go to Big Daddy’s don’t order their shitty food.
2:00 – Nebraska game is about over, but I’m having a hard time keeping up with things. I decide to slow down a little because kickoff is still almost six hours away. The white trash former softball player keeps bringing me shots, even though I’m not asking for them.
2:20 – I get up to walk around a little and I’m definitely buzzing. I start walking up to semi-attractive Arkansas women and asking them if they want to bet on the game. I tell one girl that I’ll give her 100 bucks if Arkansas loses, but she has to perform oral sex on me if Texas wins.
2:22 – I get a vibe that I’m not wanted at that table any more.
2:25 – I get back to my table and inhale my burger. I’m starting to get loud and I don’t have any back-up. Luckily, more Longhorns show up, including Orangebloods.com’s own Geoff Ketchum and Sean Adams.
2:30 – My friend returns and joins the three of us at our table. Both my friend and Adams are relieved to find out that they aren’t the only two black guys in the state not playing in the game that night or working someone’s field.
2:45 – I ask my friend about his little tryst with his friend and it turns out they went to a seedy hotel room. He tells me that he got a little hummer and that the only thing she asked was, “Do I have anything on my face?” I’m starting to think this weekend is going to pick up.
3:00 – We’re on our own again, as Ketch and Adams leave for some tailgate. We tell them that we’ll meet up with them later, but we never do. Alcohol has a way of making you miss your appointment.
3:30 – I ask the white trash waitress where she can be found later tonight. I tell her that we WILL hook up later that night. She doesn’t tell me no and tells me that I’ll be able to find her across the street at some club.
3:45 – We close at the tab at 300 bucks. Yes, we’re pretty hammered.
3:50 – We walk out of the bar and we’re greeted with a lot of “Texas sucks” chants and I’m convinced that either someone just spit at my face or I’m drooling. It’s a 50/50 deal.
4:00 – We hitch a ride to the game with the girl he just took to a seedy motel room. She takes us to a tailgate and drops us off.
4:20 – We arrive at their tailgate and we’re showered with quite a few F-bombs from Arkansas fans and other derogatory remarks. We decide to leave.
4:45 – My friend notices that the only black people on the street are either selling tickets or parking cars. He is afraid for his safety.
5:00 – The biggest white trash guy that I have ever seen approaches us and challenges us to a fight. His hair is greased up, not from hair jell, but from not having washed it in weeks. He curses us and tells us that we will get killed and Vince Young sucks. A cop comes by and order is restored.
5:15 – I’ve yet to see any pro-Arkansas shit. Everything is anti-Texas. They really do hate us more than they like themselves. One guy is selling “Texas sucks” shirts by the boxes for 20 bucks.
5:30 – More white trash yelling. The entire path to the game is one long street that Arkansas fans tailgate on. The scene is starting to get ugly as every Longhorn fan that walks the street is getting shouted at and some things are being thrown.
5:40 – The first actual racial slur is used, but TheTower doesn’t hear or, or, if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it.
6:00 – We get into the stadium. I have to admit that the stadium is very nice. The HD big screen is off the hook. We need one of those.
Let’s just skip the game and go right to the moment where Phillip Geiggar intercepts Matt Jones on the final play of the game. From that moment on, the beer starts to rain down on section 111 like the great flood and we’re doused with Old Milwaukee.
This is where the story picks up. The exact times for the rest of the story are very rough guesstimates.
11:30 – A half-dozen fights break out on the ramp of the stadium on the way out. Every Arkansas fan looks like their sister/girl friend just ran off with their cousin/brother. I’ve never seen such sad faces.
11:45 – Another greaser hillbilly tells us that we’re lucky, not a good team and we better get the hell out of the state if we know what’s good for us.
Midnight – An Arkansas cop gets on our ass about walking a foot off the curb. He threatens us and we just do what he says. He eventually leaves us alone and goes back to directing traffic.
12:30 – Both of are drunk, tired and elated, but we aren’t sure hw much trouble we want to get into. F it. We head back to the bar scene where we were before the game.
1AM – Probably not a good move. Lots of f-bombs. Lots of cursing in general. Lots of abuse and there aren’t any Texas fans around. We go to the club where the waitress told us that she would be earlier. I can’t remember the name, but there is nothing but a nasty vibe inside the club. Nobody is happy and nobody wants to see us.
1:01 – We leave.
1:15 – We try to hail a cab. No cab will pick us up.
1:50 – We finally get a cab to pick us up and we tell him to take us a place to get something to eat. We’re told that Denny’s off of 6th street is the place to be.
2:00 – We get to Denny’s and it’s like a scene from a monster truck show/gun show. Drunk, dejected Arkansas fans are everywhere. We get on the waiting list and we sit down. The fun begins.
2:03 – My friend looks over and sees a family of four. All four (except for the little boy) are very obese and very dejected. Red paint has been smeared off of the dad’s face, while the wife’s is still in full glory. The daughter looks like she’s hypnotized by a fly on the wall and the little boy is passed out in his daddy’s arms. The entire family looks like they just lost their trailer. My friend drops this memorable line – “if you ever want to feel good about your lot in life, just come to a Denny’s in the state of Arkansas at 2AM. I’d rather be on death row, than to live in the shoes of anyone in this restaurant.”
2:10 – A fat girl bends over in all her glory and shows a purple thing that looks like it’s hauling the back end of a tow truck. I wouldn’t have noticed it, but TheTower made me turn around and look. I’m starving, but I just lost my appetite.
2:20 – Some white trash guy decides to be our friend. He kind of talks like one of those white boys that thinks they are from the hood, but I don’t think he’s acting…I just think he’s trash. He tells us he once went to Galveston and that he wants to move “to a nice resort town like Galveston because it’s so beautiful.”
2:20 – He then tell us that the reason he really liked Galveston so much was because, “They had a Popeye’s that was kicking.”
2:45 – The food has yet to arrive.
3:00 – We eat very quickly.
3:10 – I refuse to leave a tip.
3:20 – I try calling the first of several cab companies. No answer.
3:30 – Still trying.
3:40 – Still trying.
4:00 – We walk over to a hotel across the street and I ask some kid if he’ll take us to the airport for 50 bucks. One of his two friends tells him, “Dude, that’s 20 bucks for each of us.”
4:10 – I finally get a cab company to answer the phone. They are on the way.
4:12 – I tell the kids I found a ride, but thanks.
4:20 – Cab picks us up and we head for the hotel. It’s cold as shit outside, but the cabby has all the windows down because he’s smoking a pack of cigarettes in the cab. He mentions to us that everyone he takes to the airport always tells him they are never coming back to Fayetteville.
4:22 – We concur.
4:45 – We get to the airport and pass out at the gate.
5:50 – We wake up and get on the plane and leave…never to return again.
9:10 –I am told that the best thing to do is to catch a cab outside the airport and just have them drive me to Fayetteville. I walk outside the airport and there are no cabs.
9:25 – There are still no cabs. I ask a security officer how I should go about hailing a cab and I’m told that it’s tough to get a cab to come out to the airport. I should probably rent a car or take Big Jim’s shuttle service.
9:30 – I ask the lady behind the counter how far it is to Fayetteville and she tells me 45 miles. It’s a $25 shuttle ride and I decide to just take the shuttle instead of renting a car.
9:35 – The girl driving the shuttle is fairly hot (nice tits). She greets me by telling me that we will lose tonight.
9:40 – I meet up with a new friend – a poster on Orangebloods named TheTower. He also made the trip alone, so we agree to roll together.
9:45 – I ask the girl how long the drive to Fayetteville will take and she tells us 15 minutes. When I tell her that the lady behind the counter said it was 45 minutes away from the airport, the hot young hillbilly said, “My momma would not lie.” I decide to not press the issue.
9:50 – My African-American friend wonders if he’s safe, as we pass a street with three Confederate Rebel flags in their front yards.
10:30 – One hillbilly on the shuttle explains to me that his son was the back-up to Matt Jones in high school and that his son was his equal as a player. Got to give the guy credit though because his house was pimping. As far as Arkansas spreads go, this guy probably had a quarter-million dollar crib on a half-acre of property. That being said, he was still a hillbilly.
10:59 – We get dropped off in front of a bar that I can’t recall, but we go in and it looks like the Dixie Chicken, so we leave. We’re headed for a sports bar around the corner that we saw and we end up walking through a scene straight from the Drag. There are these little sidewalk garage sales going on right in the middle of the main drag and everyone there is a hippy/beat-nik. It was really weird to see it, but I knew I was ready to be home, when a car drives by with Arkansas flags and stickers all over, drives by and gives us the finger and says, “F Texas,”
11:05 – We walk into Big Daddy’s and the entire white trash wait staff is dressed in Brittany Spears skirts and they all have anti-Texas shirts on. “Tuck Fexas”, “Texas sucks”, “We hate Texas,”, ect… not a single pro-Arkansas shirt in sight.
11:10 – We’re told that we can only order drinks right now because the restraint won’t be open for another hour or so. My friend and I order several very hard drinks right off the bat. Five-star generals and something with vodka in it. We both decide that the only way we’re going to survive the trip is to drink…. heavily.
11:15 – Our drinks show up and the shots are in full glasses. But, for 6 bucks, we we’ll like we’re getting a steal.
11:18 – Waitress comes by and she looks like she’s 38. She tells us that Texas sucks (of course) and that she played on the Arkansas softball team last year. That means she’s either 22 or 23. Talk about played out.
11:20 – We start talking to the rest of the wait staff and it turns out that most of the girls are from Texas, but have moved to Arkansas and now hate everything that is Texas. Sounds like Aggie stuff to me.
11:30 – My friend has a lady friend stop by that he somehow knows. She’s ok looking, but not great. After about five more shots, I’d probably consider doing her.
Noon – It’s been a pretty tame time thus far. We’re drinking our livers to a quick death and watching football. The crowd is tame thus far. Maybe the Arkansas crowd isn’t that bad after all.
1PM – The day is starting to pick up. I’m buzzing and haven’t eaten yet. This girl is all over my friend and they decide to “leave for an hour”. I really don’t care because I’m buzzing, football is on and well, I’m hungry.
1:15 – Now I’m by myself and still drinking. Nebraska is losing. Kansas State is getting their ass kicked and I’m listening to a lot of Big 12 sucks stuff from the growing Arkansas crowd.
1:30 – The food arrives. It sucks. I’m pissed. I throw away my food and get a burger because how bad can you mess that up. If you ever go to Big Daddy’s don’t order their shitty food.
2:00 – Nebraska game is about over, but I’m having a hard time keeping up with things. I decide to slow down a little because kickoff is still almost six hours away. The white trash former softball player keeps bringing me shots, even though I’m not asking for them.
2:20 – I get up to walk around a little and I’m definitely buzzing. I start walking up to semi-attractive Arkansas women and asking them if they want to bet on the game. I tell one girl that I’ll give her 100 bucks if Arkansas loses, but she has to perform oral sex on me if Texas wins.
2:22 – I get a vibe that I’m not wanted at that table any more.
2:25 – I get back to my table and inhale my burger. I’m starting to get loud and I don’t have any back-up. Luckily, more Longhorns show up, including Orangebloods.com’s own Geoff Ketchum and Sean Adams.
2:30 – My friend returns and joins the three of us at our table. Both my friend and Adams are relieved to find out that they aren’t the only two black guys in the state not playing in the game that night or working someone’s field.
2:45 – I ask my friend about his little tryst with his friend and it turns out they went to a seedy hotel room. He tells me that he got a little hummer and that the only thing she asked was, “Do I have anything on my face?” I’m starting to think this weekend is going to pick up.
3:00 – We’re on our own again, as Ketch and Adams leave for some tailgate. We tell them that we’ll meet up with them later, but we never do. Alcohol has a way of making you miss your appointment.
3:30 – I ask the white trash waitress where she can be found later tonight. I tell her that we WILL hook up later that night. She doesn’t tell me no and tells me that I’ll be able to find her across the street at some club.
3:45 – We close at the tab at 300 bucks. Yes, we’re pretty hammered.
3:50 – We walk out of the bar and we’re greeted with a lot of “Texas sucks” chants and I’m convinced that either someone just spit at my face or I’m drooling. It’s a 50/50 deal.
4:00 – We hitch a ride to the game with the girl he just took to a seedy motel room. She takes us to a tailgate and drops us off.
4:20 – We arrive at their tailgate and we’re showered with quite a few F-bombs from Arkansas fans and other derogatory remarks. We decide to leave.
4:45 – My friend notices that the only black people on the street are either selling tickets or parking cars. He is afraid for his safety.
5:00 – The biggest white trash guy that I have ever seen approaches us and challenges us to a fight. His hair is greased up, not from hair jell, but from not having washed it in weeks. He curses us and tells us that we will get killed and Vince Young sucks. A cop comes by and order is restored.
5:15 – I’ve yet to see any pro-Arkansas shit. Everything is anti-Texas. They really do hate us more than they like themselves. One guy is selling “Texas sucks” shirts by the boxes for 20 bucks.
5:30 – More white trash yelling. The entire path to the game is one long street that Arkansas fans tailgate on. The scene is starting to get ugly as every Longhorn fan that walks the street is getting shouted at and some things are being thrown.
5:40 – The first actual racial slur is used, but TheTower doesn’t hear or, or, if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it.
6:00 – We get into the stadium. I have to admit that the stadium is very nice. The HD big screen is off the hook. We need one of those.
Let’s just skip the game and go right to the moment where Phillip Geiggar intercepts Matt Jones on the final play of the game. From that moment on, the beer starts to rain down on section 111 like the great flood and we’re doused with Old Milwaukee.
This is where the story picks up. The exact times for the rest of the story are very rough guesstimates.
11:30 – A half-dozen fights break out on the ramp of the stadium on the way out. Every Arkansas fan looks like their sister/girl friend just ran off with their cousin/brother. I’ve never seen such sad faces.
11:45 – Another greaser hillbilly tells us that we’re lucky, not a good team and we better get the hell out of the state if we know what’s good for us.
Midnight – An Arkansas cop gets on our ass about walking a foot off the curb. He threatens us and we just do what he says. He eventually leaves us alone and goes back to directing traffic.
12:30 – Both of are drunk, tired and elated, but we aren’t sure hw much trouble we want to get into. F it. We head back to the bar scene where we were before the game.
1AM – Probably not a good move. Lots of f-bombs. Lots of cursing in general. Lots of abuse and there aren’t any Texas fans around. We go to the club where the waitress told us that she would be earlier. I can’t remember the name, but there is nothing but a nasty vibe inside the club. Nobody is happy and nobody wants to see us.
1:01 – We leave.
1:15 – We try to hail a cab. No cab will pick us up.
1:50 – We finally get a cab to pick us up and we tell him to take us a place to get something to eat. We’re told that Denny’s off of 6th street is the place to be.
2:00 – We get to Denny’s and it’s like a scene from a monster truck show/gun show. Drunk, dejected Arkansas fans are everywhere. We get on the waiting list and we sit down. The fun begins.
2:03 – My friend looks over and sees a family of four. All four (except for the little boy) are very obese and very dejected. Red paint has been smeared off of the dad’s face, while the wife’s is still in full glory. The daughter looks like she’s hypnotized by a fly on the wall and the little boy is passed out in his daddy’s arms. The entire family looks like they just lost their trailer. My friend drops this memorable line – “if you ever want to feel good about your lot in life, just come to a Denny’s in the state of Arkansas at 2AM. I’d rather be on death row, than to live in the shoes of anyone in this restaurant.”
2:10 – A fat girl bends over in all her glory and shows a purple thing that looks like it’s hauling the back end of a tow truck. I wouldn’t have noticed it, but TheTower made me turn around and look. I’m starving, but I just lost my appetite.
2:20 – Some white trash guy decides to be our friend. He kind of talks like one of those white boys that thinks they are from the hood, but I don’t think he’s acting…I just think he’s trash. He tells us he once went to Galveston and that he wants to move “to a nice resort town like Galveston because it’s so beautiful.”
2:20 – He then tell us that the reason he really liked Galveston so much was because, “They had a Popeye’s that was kicking.”
2:45 – The food has yet to arrive.
3:00 – We eat very quickly.
3:10 – I refuse to leave a tip.
3:20 – I try calling the first of several cab companies. No answer.
3:30 – Still trying.
3:40 – Still trying.
4:00 – We walk over to a hotel across the street and I ask some kid if he’ll take us to the airport for 50 bucks. One of his two friends tells him, “Dude, that’s 20 bucks for each of us.”
4:10 – I finally get a cab company to answer the phone. They are on the way.
4:12 – I tell the kids I found a ride, but thanks.
4:20 – Cab picks us up and we head for the hotel. It’s cold as shit outside, but the cabby has all the windows down because he’s smoking a pack of cigarettes in the cab. He mentions to us that everyone he takes to the airport always tells him they are never coming back to Fayetteville.
4:22 – We concur.
4:45 – We get to the airport and pass out at the gate.
5:50 – We wake up and get on the plane and leave…never to return again.
