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Ketch's 10 Thoughts From the Weekend (There's only one thought this morning...)

Ketchum

Resident Blockhead
Staff
May 29, 2001
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It wasn't until Monday morning that I think I fully understood it all.

Sitting in an elementary school cafeteria on Monday morning, watching my twin five-year olds eat Coco Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I couldn't quite shake the profound sadness that had drenched my soul in the aftermath of learning that a helicopter carrying Kobe Bryant, his second-oldest daughter Gianna and seven others had crashed into a mountain the day before, killing everyone on board.

I just stared at my children and tried to soak in the innocence that exists in the hearts of kindergartners. Looking at Haven, I realized that her fingers were blue and a smudge of blue was on her cheek. Where the hell did it come from, I wondered to myself. It hadn't been there this morning when I woke her up. I don't even remember her having it on her face when we left for school. Was it toothpaste? No, that wouldn't explain why it was all over her hands.

While lost in about 10 seconds of blue smudge thought, I came out of my daze when Haven leaned into me and whispered, "I don't want you to go. I want to stay with you forever."

Right then, right there ... it all became obvious.

This wasn't about Kobe Bryant the basketball player. While I've always respected the hell out of Kobe's greatness as a player, I wouldn't ever say that I was a fan.

This wasn't about Kobe Bryant the person, which is a conversation that includes many complications, especially when trying to balance all of the positive stories that can sometimes make you forget that something happened in Colorado more than a decade ago that is quite complicated and every bit as much of his story as an NBA Finals MVP.

What this was about was a man and his daughter, lost together in almost unspeakable, horrifying fashion. When the news first hit social media on Sunday, the first image in my mind was that of a scene from last month when Bryant had been sitting courtside at a basketball game with Gianna, teaching her a lesson that must have been so unique and special to them.

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Nothing can humanize a person quite like the sight of them engaging with their kids, as it's the most relatable thing we can share with another person. The fear. The devastation. The loss. The aftermath. Somewhere at the exact moment that the world learned of Bryant's death was a wife and three daughters that were in the midst of a change in their lives that won't ever be made right.

Before this horrifying moment could even sink in, a report emerged from ABC that all of Kobe's children had been on the helicopter with him, which was almost too much to take, as the little voice in my head screamed, "God, no!"

It was all so confusing and I didn't know anyone involved. Imagine what it must have been like for the family members of those involved in the crash, forced to learn about your world changing through social media or frantic text messages or some means none of us can comprehend.

Moments later, it was confirmed that 13-year old Gianna had perished with him and time just seemed to stop.

All I wanted in that moment was to hug my kids and never let go, but they weren't at home. Eventually, when they did return home from a trip to Barnes and Noble, I clutched on to them with an urgency that I don't ever remember. There's something that happens to you as a human being the moment that you have a child and that change seemingly lasts the rest of your life. All you want is to provide safety for your children at all times and nothing seems more haunting that the idea of not being able to pull it off.

That thought is the thing that I still can't shake this morning. A helicopter full of parents and children crashed into a mountain, and I'm haunted as a human being by the fear that must have existed in those waning moments, along with the helplessness. You dream about your kids playing sports, going to college, getting married and eventually having children of their own.

This moment in time is a reminder that none of those dreams can be taken for granted.

Ever.

As I walked my kids to their classroom ahead of the 7:45 a.m. bell, I hugged my kids again before they walked into their classroom. Just as they were about to disappear into a Monday or learning to read and write, Hendrix stopped in the doorway of his class room and turned around. Out of nowhere, he ran to me and jumped into my arms, telling me that he loved me and would miss me while he was in school.

It was everything I needed. It was everything I wanted. It'll stay with me all day.

While I count my blessings, my heart aches for those that won't have those hugs this morning or this afternoon or ever again. None of this will ever make sense. None of it will ever go away. None of it can ever be overturned.

The lasting memory of one of the greatest basketball players that ever lived is of him as a father, unable to control life at the end after seemingly spending the majority of his 41 years on this earth doing exactly that with a dedication that those who knew him best often mentioned was incomparable.

We're all mortal, even those that sometimes seem to be made of something quite the opposite. With that knowledge reaffirmed over the weekend, here's to vowing to make the most of the moments we all have left - whether it's a day, a month, years or decades.

Once gone, it's gone forever and can never be replaced.



So, go hug your kids. Call your parents. Tell a long lost friend that you love them and miss them. Seize the moment today.

Now!

Don't wait for a day or time that isn't guaranteed.

Rest in peace, Kobe, Rest in peace, Gianna, Rest in peace, John. Rest in peace, Keri. Rest in peace, Alyssa. Rest in peace, Christina. Rest in peace, Sara. Rest in peace, Payton. Rest in peace, Ara.
 
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We Dads spend a ton of time trying to figure out how best to prepare our kids for the road ahead, while at the same time trying to make that same road as safe as we can make it. I ask, God, how can I protect my daughter? This sort of event makes us all feel so vulnerable.
 
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Well said. I certainly hugged my boys a little longer than normal last night and this morning. Could not tell them how much I love them enough. Heart breaks for his family and all families that lost loved ones in that tragedy.
 
Great message. I really did not like Kobe when he was early in his career but after the incident in CO he seemed to have learned and really grew from his mistake, and just seemed more genuine, confident and happy in his own skin with little to no arrogance. I literally walked around with a tear in my eye all day yesterday and just wanted to lay down and cry. Such a sad event and loss.
 
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Thanks Ketch. Eyes watered just reading that and thinking of his three other girls and his wife and then thinking of my family. Like you, I was not a Kobe fan necessarily, but loved watching him play, but yesterday hit me like I knew him and I think it’s because I have kids and a wife and can’t imagine the hurt they’re going through along with all of the others who lost a loved one. Just unimaginable.
 
Ketch you hit every note and you’re absolutely right. Cherish those moments while they are young and hold them close. Time goes by so quickly. I felt exactly the same way with my young son on 9/11. What’s truly important becomes crystal clear in moments like these.

Thank you for sharing, that was beautifully written.
 
Hits me hard when I think about it. My daughter is just about to turn 13. She thinks that she is older and should have more freedom, etc. However as a parent I know she has not even had a real chance to live yet. To know that this father, forget all the "complications", had to sit there with his daughter, knowing she was going to die, is beyond thought. I was find myself in a daze, every time I think about it.

Then to know others on that helicopter had to share that same feeling, wow. I know Kobe, and his daughter, are the ones most prominently mentioned. I do get why that rubs some the wrong way. However it is because Kobe was the person that so many knew. It is not meant to diminish those that were there and shared that same fate, it is just that it is easier for people to relate to someone that has been in the media for a long time.

Prayers to all involved and the ones that lost friends and loved ones.

PS... Oh and onions, Ketch, damn onions.
 
“But soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left the earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.”

― Thornton Wilder
 
Well said Ketch. This has made me really think about the important things in life. I woke up in the middle of the night and hugged my 10 month old daughter while she was sleeping.
 
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Great perspectives. I really like the focus on all of the victims, both those who perished and those who are left behind to pick up the pieces of their lives.

I've been frustrated with the media coverage that focuses so much on Kobe's basketball achievements and almost forgets to mention that there were a number of other victims whose lives are every bit as precious and important at Kobe's - maybe more so for the young people who perished with their whole lives ahead of them.
 
I was rolling back from H-town with my 11 y.o., ironically enough, after a weekend of basketball training at the TJ Ford Academy. Those trips with my boy are especially great because it gives us a nice roadie to talk. Heard the news on way back. Interestingly enough, he had reminded earlier in the week that Kobe's parents didn't approve of his wife being another race which led to what I believe is still an estrangement. Anyway, used that as a teaching moment in that you never let some stupid sh*t that like fester because you never know when the end will come. I know as recently as 2016, per Kobe, the relationship with his parents was "sh*t." Best I can tell there wasn't a subsequent reconciliation. Talk about living in regret the rest of their lives. I told him to treasure family and friend relationships every day.
 
She was such a beautiful little lady. So sad for all those involved in this tragedy or any tragedy like that. RIP.
 
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