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OT: Serious Topic that I'm PO'd about.

clob94

clob94

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Aug 25, 2014
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You all know I live in Gruene. I've lived here longer than I've lived in any other place in my life. I've made friends inside this community and I love almost everything about it. I befriended a guy about 12 years ago that seemed like a good dude-- he competed in all the chili cook offs and BBQ cook offs and what not in town. Now we weren't bosom buddies but more like "have a beer" and talk sports, cooking BBQ, talk about his kids and young grandkids-- we all have people in our lives like this. His friends were my friends and everybody knows everybody.

I've seen him have a few too many in the past on a couple of occasions but never anything stupid or sloppy. He always took a cab home or got a ride on nights like that. Wasn't in church every Sunday but also not a "bad" person. Was a "live and let live" kind of guy.

Anyway--- I thought I knew the guy--- know what I mean? Turns out, he was arrested this weekend for inappropriate sexual contact with a minor. A fvcking minor. We are all blown away. I don't have the full story as to what happened but it doesn't sound like he gave an ass slap to a 17 year old who was using a fake ID in a bar. It appears to be something rather serious.

All of us that are in the "network" here that know him have been banging our heads against the wall trying to figure out if somehow we missed something. This sort of behavior is something that has a pattern. You just don't wake up on a Tuesday after five decades on this planet and go "Welp, today's the day I'm going to fondle a kid (Allegedly)." It's a learned behavior and one that is learned and repeated from an early age through adulthood. Hell, one of the females friends in the network is a licensed psychologist with a freaking PHD who spends her probono time working with convicted sexual offenders in prison. Of all the people that should have spotted the signs---- but she feels just as duped as the rest of us do.
12 years I've known this guy. And I've tried to remember as many interactions with him as I can and am unable to come up with any red flags--- should I be feeling that I or WE as a community dropped the ball on this? I won't lie-- I shouldn't feel guilty about this but I do. This was a fvcking kid. And this is also the first person I've ever associated with that has done something like this. I've always been careful about the company I keep and perhaps at times a bit too scrutinizing of some of them--- but this one got past me. Makes me feel like a dumb ass.

Rant over.
 
While I am not perfect, well far from it. I use bad language like an art form..... I would say that the Bible has a lot to say on the subject of the human heart and condition..... I'll give you something from the OT & NT.

Jer. 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"

Mark 7:21-22
For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.

I had a friend last year appear in the local newspaper for getting busted in a sex trafficking sting. I shared my locker with the dude in HS. Anyway, all of us are susceptible to doing wrong. None of us is perfect. Struggle against evil is a daily battle. Put yourself in the shoes of others and walk a mile in their life. You will be immediately humbled and it becomes easier to do the right thing and not transgress against other people.

With this being said, we have some among us that hate anything from the Bible, so haters fire away...... Hope this helps.
 
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clob94 said:
he gave an ass slap to a 17 year old who was using a fake ID in a bar.
Click to expand...

You can't know everything in life about people that changes around you, evidently no one else picked up on it either, so you are probably not alone in that aspect, you are not your brothers keeper!
 
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That is truly unfortunate. I think it is uncurable. The recidavism rate on child predators is very high.
 
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Nobody picked up on John Wayne Gacy my friend. Predators are really good at deceiving. If they weren't then there wouldn't be such heinous crime. Hell, Ted Bundy had two serious girlfriends while he was killing dozens of others.

You are correct about it being a learned behavior. The unfortunate truth is that guy was probably molested when he was younger.

Other than that, sorry about this butt kicker of news.
 
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Yeah its not your fault. Let the facts play out on this too. That said, as you have known this guy, all was well, and in those aspects, it was. This type of thing isn't something you just see or notice, but don't beat yourself up because you aren't clairvoyant.
 
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Hold judgement until you get all the facts. I have a good buddy who is classified as a sexual predator because he was at a frat party and picked up a girl who turned out to be still in high school. Now he carries that weight for the rest of his life.

There is no excuse for doing anything to a little child and if he is guilty, well he will be in his own personal hell when he gets to prison. That is something the inmates don't tolerate.

As someone said above, predators are usually very good at hiding their true nature.

With all that said, I will gladly spend the rest of my days in prison if someone ever hurt by girls. Oh, and I am now a grandpa, to another girl. :D
 
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Clob, you are doing all you can do, which is being true to your own set of values and doing the best you can do, which includes forgiving yourself for not being omniscient, and not being able to prevent it or stop it.

The very fact that you are concerned about not knowing is enough to allow you to forgive yourself for being unable to stop it. All the best to you.
 
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clob94 said:
You all know I live in Gruene. I've lived here longer than I've lived in any other place in my life. I've made friends inside this community and I love almost everything about it. I befriended a guy about 12 years ago that seemed like a good dude-- he competed in all the chili cook offs and BBQ cook offs and what not in town. Now we weren't bosom buddies but more like "have a beer" and talk sports, cooking BBQ, talk about his kids and young grandkids-- we all have people in our lives like this. His friends were my friends and everybody knows everybody.

I've seen him have a few too many in the past on a couple of occasions but never anything stupid or sloppy. He always took a cab home or got a ride on nights like that. Wasn't in church every Sunday but also not a "bad" person. Was a "live and let live" kind of guy.

Anyway--- I thought I knew the guy--- know what I mean? Turns out, he was arrested this weekend for inappropriate sexual contact with a minor. A fvcking minor. We are all blown away. I don't have the full story as to what happened but it doesn't sound like he gave an ass slap to a 17 year old who was using a fake ID in a bar. It appears to be something rather serious.

All of us that are in the "network" here that know him have been banging our heads against the wall trying to figure out if somehow we missed something. This sort of behavior is something that has a pattern. You just don't wake up on a Tuesday after five decades on this planet and go "Welp, today's the day I'm going to fondle a kid (Allegedly)." It's a learned behavior and one that is learned and repeated from an early age through adulthood. Hell, one of the females friends in the network is a licensed psychologist with a freaking PHD who spends her probono time working with convicted sexual offenders in prison. Of all the people that should have spotted the signs---- but she feels just as duped as the rest of us do.
12 years I've known this guy. And I've tried to remember as many interactions with him as I can and am unable to come up with any red flags--- should I be feeling that I or WE as a community dropped the ball on this? I won't lie-- I shouldn't feel guilty about this but I do. This was a fvcking kid. And this is also the first person I've ever associated with that has done something like this. I've always been careful about the company I keep and perhaps at times a bit too scrutinizing of some of them--- but this one got past me. Makes me feel like a dumb ass.

Rant over.
Click to expand...
I am familiar with whom you speak of
 
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You never know. I once had a roommate many years ago(early 90's) that was a heck of a person. He was a police officer at the time. Fast forward 20 years. Not sure what happened to him because I had lost contact with him but he got caught up in a similar issue. I'm sure his dad was rolling in his grave.

The thing that I will say looking back, while this guy was a lot of fun he was kind of a sex addict/pervert even back then. I never witnessed anything illegal out of him back then but he was a little over the top especially when alcohol was involved. Apparently the girl he ended up inappropriately touching was apparently his step daughter. Not good. I'm relieved I had lost touch with him back before his life went south.https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/...deputy-arrested-in-indecency-case-1785103.php
 
It's a sad world, sometimes.

We have a hard time accepting that someone we respect(ed) could do something so evil. Could the accusations turn out to be false? Could there have been an honest misunderstanding + rumor mill to the extreme? The witness asks: "Did I really see what I thought I saw?!"

And some institutions are so embarrassed, that they don't do the right thing. They don't file charges, but instead just let the perp go to another church or day-care or whatever.

And the perpetrators use that doubt and embarrassment to keep harming children.

It's sad.
 
TX1972 said:
Was alcohol involved?
Click to expand...
I'm not sure. I've asked a few folks that I trust about the situation but nobody seems to know all the details.

I think there's such a collective bad taste in everyone's mouth that nobody really wants to talk about it.
 
clob94 said:
I'm not sure. I've asked a few folks that I trust about the situation but nobody seems to know all the details.

I think there's such a collective bad taste in everyone's mouth that nobody really wants to talk about it.
Click to expand...
I'm curious what exactly is defined as inappropriate sexual contact. The reason I ask is because my example I used above, of the guy I know, I'm sure his was probably defined as the same type of crime. He apparently pleaded to whatever and got probation but has to register as a sex offender. Not sure if he has to register for life or not but I'm sure it puts a dent in his life in general.

Now this next guy, used to be my water well guy. He lives around Canyon Lake. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's probably going to be gone for a while. He did a good job for me the several times I used him, he never seemed out of place and I had my young daughters running all around at the time.Never a problem, but apparently his inner demons got ahold of his better judgement. He goes to trial May 6, 2019 in Comal County. https://www.rapsheets.org/texas/burnet-jail/DENNIS_TROY/86797
 
And last but not least, we have this guy. I went to school with this guy and he was the basketball coach at the school a couple of my kids go to. For the record, he was gone before my kids enrolled there.

Anyway, after his initial sentencing he was sent to prison but after about 6mos. or so, the presiding judge had mercy on him and let him out of prison hoping he had "shocked" him into getting his life right, but with explicit stipulations for his 10 year probation such as: pay restitution, don't leave the county without notifying his probation officer etc. The judge made it very clear that he was giving him a new lease on life and to use it wisely.

Did he? Well, hell no. He just got arrested in January of this year for apparently breaking the terms of his probation. Not once but apparently multiple violations. Unbelievable.https://radionb.com/news/local-news...il-time-restitution-sex-offender-registration

https://news4sanantonio.com/news/lo...convicted-of-having-relationship-with-student
 
I know I shouldn't be this judgmental, but sexual predators who have been convicted of the crimes, should be put in prison without the possibility of parole until their term is served. Personally, I think you could make a case for life sentences but this is not the time or place for that conversation. Locally, our court system has been extremely lenient with these slugs in that they are receiving only probation and several of them have "sentences" that call for the conviction to be blotted out if they can complete the terms of their probation.

But on a positive note, there was a case in Texas a few weeks back where a father walked in on his daughter being assaulted and killed the perp; the courts have formally cleared him of any wrong doing. I am thankful for that course of action, but I pray to God Almighty that I am never placed in that situation. I've got an almost 5 year old little girl and I am nervous wreck for what school will look like for her and to a lessor extent my son.
 
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Clob, I've got some info, but I'm not gonna put it on the forum.
 
I will say this, his attorney has obviously been working overtime getting his mugshot removed from the inter webs but you may want to let him know it is still showing up on a few websites. I don't really agree with posting mugshots especially if the allegations turn out to not add up.
 
ASURAM2010 said:
I know I shouldn't be this judgmental, but sexual predators who have been convicted of the crimes, should be put in prison without the possibility of parole until their term is served. Personally, I think you could make a case for life sentences but this is not the time or place for that conversation. Locally, our court system has been extremely lenient with these slugs in that they are receiving only probation and several of them have "sentences" that call for the conviction to be blotted out if they can complete the terms of their probation.

But on a positive note, there was a case in Texas a few weeks back where a father walked in on his daughter being assaulted and killed the perp; the courts have formally cleared him of any wrong doing. I am thankful for that course of action, but I pray to God Almighty that I am never placed in that situation. I've got an almost 5 year old little girl and I am nervous wreck for what school will look like for her and to a lessor extent my son.
Click to expand...
You may want to consider private school. Where I live, the elementary school is great, after that, the middle school and mixing with the inner city kids is where the young innocent kids grow up real quick. High schools are worse. I've got 3 girls that will all attend private high school. I feel more comfortable with them being in a much smaller controlled environment. I'll be beyond broke for years lol
 
Belldozer1 said:
You may want to consider private school. Where I live, the elementary school is great, after that, the middle school and mixing with the inner city kids is where the young innocent kids grow up real quick. High schools are worse. I've got 3 girls that will all attend private high school. I feel more comfortable with them being in a much smaller controlled environment. I'll be beyond broke for years lol
Click to expand...
Locally, that isn't a great option. While there is A private school, its not what people from the bigger cities expect when it comes to private school
 
Belldozer1 said:
You may want to consider private school. Where I live, the elementary school is great, after that, the middle school and mixing with the inner city kids is where the young innocent kids grow up real quick. High schools are worse. I've got 3 girls that will all attend private high school. I feel more comfortable with them being in a much smaller controlled environment. I'll be beyond broke for years lol
Click to expand...


NB has an inner city? Would that be the hood around Schliterbahn?
 
I tend to fall on the 'Nature' side of things, as opposed to, 'Nurture' when it comes to what drives a person's failings. But having said that, in most of these cases I think you have to have the genes for this and be raised incorrectly somehow. So a combo is usually required IMHO.

I simply cannot comprehend how any adult, man or women, can look at a naked 12 year old and somehow get turned on by that. But that happens. Same applies to looking at another grown man. I just don't have that in me and simply can't relate to it in any way. The people who do this stuff have something inside of them that most of us don't.

But it doesn't surprise me that these people are good at hiding this side of themselves. Everyone has a secret side that no one knows about. Sometimes that secret side is really, really bad. Had a GF like that once. No bueno mi amigos!!
 
UTGrad87 said:
I tend to fall on the 'Nature' side of things, as opposed to, 'Nurture' when it comes to what drives a person's failings. But having said that, in most of these cases I think you have to have the genes for this and be raised incorrectly somehow. So a combo is usually required IMHO.

I simply cannot comprehend how any adult, man or women, can look at a naked 12 year old and somehow get turned on by that. But that happens. Same applies to looking at another grown man. I just don't have that in me and simply can't relate to it in any way. The people who do this stuff have something inside of them that most of us don't.

But it doesn't surprise me that these people are good at hiding this side of themselves. Everyone has a secret side that no one knows about. Sometimes that secret side is really, really bad. Had a GF like that once. No bueno mi amigos!!
Click to expand...
How do you feel about 16 year olds?
 
TX1972 said:
How do you feel about 16 year olds?
Click to expand...
Im assuming you mean from a sexual standpoint? I can say as a dad to a 16 year old daughter I have absolutely no attraction whatsoever to any of my daughters friends etc. to me they’re still just young girls. Strangely enough I even feel that way about women in their early 20’s as well. The last sentence is probably my age and being a dad to daughters coming out in me.
Now, if you’re talking about a 45 year old overweight heifer slipping around the trailer park on a Friday night, I’m all over that, with their consent, of course.
 
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Belldozer1 said:
Im assuming you mean from a sexual standpoint? I can say as a dad to a 16 year old daughter I have absolutely no attraction whatsoever to any of my daughters friends etc. to me they’re still just young girls. Strangely enough I even feel that way about women in their early 20’s as well. The last sentence is probably my age and being a dad to daughters coming out in me.
Now, if you’re talking about a 45 year old overweight heifer slipping around the trailer park on a Friday night, I’m all over that, with their consent, of course.
Click to expand...


 
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