The routine bitchery that we do concerning the domestic airlines got me to thinking about the things I have done to minimize the pain of frequent travel. Here are my tips, and I am interested in anything my globe-trotting burnt orange brothers can add.
Airlines
Airlines
- Pick a domestic carrier and stick with them. Eventually the status will make a bit of difference. I am a United flyer, and though I have complained a lot, I do think they have improved customer service in the past year. I don't expect upgrades, though I get them sometimes, but getting on the plane while there is still overhead space helps. Also the Economy Plus seating is better than straight steerage.
- Aisle seat for me, now and always. At least one leg and arm will not be jammed against another human that way. International, I try to get an aisle with an empty middle seat, and it stays empty sometimes, except on flights from Dubai, which end up being packed with Indian families buying tickets at the last minute.
- Know your hubs. I avoid Chicago, Newark, and Atlanta always. I hate Frankfurt and Munich. Istanbul is great as is Dubai, at least for the places I go.
- Minimize your travel legs. It is simple math. Despite all, planes are sometimes late, delayed, or canceled for good reason. Do you REALLY want to attempt take-off if the Air Canada pilots don't like the look of the de-icing job? Me either. Each flight adds the chance of a delay or cancellation. It is often better to drive the last couple of hours than try to catch a short connection out of Denver in December, but still people are disappointed. In Europe, trains can be a short leg.
- Pick your travel times wisely. Monday mornings and Friday evenings are busier than other days. If you hate the crowd, as I do, you can avoid a lot of it that way. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break are going to suck. Accept it.
- Drink water and avoid alcohol on the plane. You will stay hydrated better and avoid headaches. If you are scared to fly, get a prescription for something.
- Get TSA pre-check and Global Entry. It makes it easier to get on the plane domestically and out of the airport when coming home from overseas. That said, I don't know what the hell they did in Houston this year, but it seems everyone has got pre-check. Checking in at Terminal E helps avoid the line.
- Travel light. If you can avoid checking a bag, you save the time waiting for your baggage, and the aggravation of it being delayed or lost, which happens to me at least once a year. I try to go with a really small roll bag, but I don't have to wear suits for my work. Avoid travel with women if possible, they need a lot more stuff and are always available locally.
- For connections or delays, lounge privileges are great. I used to do United Club, but it got pricey. I have a Priority Club card and there is usually at least one lounge that will take it nearly anywhere.
- As with airlines, picking a hotel chain will eventually pay off. I have been Hilton diamond for the last ten years, and get consistently good treatment from them. I probably should, with more than 100 nights in Hilton properties this year. This results in early check-ins, late check-outs, free upgrades, etc. Plus, those hotel points are eventually useful. One of the payoffs for me is a consistent night of sleep. I even have Hilton beds at home.
- If there is not a Hilton available I go to Expedia or Bookings.com. The main thing is to not get stuck somewhere without a room. If you go far enough, you can stay in some strange places. Has anyone else spent a night at the Tanker Inn in Come-By-Chance, Newfoundland?
- I go for upper floor rooms, away from the elevator, when possible. If someone decides to come shooting Americans, I want a few minutes to get ready.
- I usually go with Hertz domestically because it is easy to drive off the lot, but I like Enterprise also.
- In Europe, I always go with a small car, because of the frequent difficulty in finding a parking place. It is amazing how long it takes to do a rental contract in Eastern Europe.
- I always obey the traffic laws in foreign countries. Sometimes it is difficult to know what they are, but if you get into trouble, apologizing profusely often helps.
- It is fun to eat local stuff, and I even eat street food, but I go for things that are fried or baked to avoid local ailments. I just don't eat Third World salads.
- On long hauls it is good to skip one or more of the offered meals. It sucks to realize you have been up for 40 hours, eaten six meals and not had a proper shit. You don't want to get near the economy toilet 12 hours into a flight and Buc-ee's hasn't expanded to Africa as yet. While we are on this, it is well to note that a small pack of baby wipes will eventually serve you well.
- Money - I always travel with cash in addition to credit cards. Clean, unmarked U.S. bills work nearly anywhere in a pinch. ATMs are available most places until you get rural, but it is nice to have a back up. I usually carry multiple credit cards, because you never know what they are going to accept.
- Cell Phone - I have a T-mobile plan that lets me use my phone almost everywhere, except my house in Galveston. I also use Skype, Viber and Whatsapp, which a lot of folks overseas like. The main trick is to keep the damn thing powered up, so an external cell phone battery is a good thing to have. It sucks to arrive somewhere with no communications ability.
- Security - Sadly, your CHL won't help you overseas. For my part, I keep my eyes open for trouble and for the most part can steer clear of it. Some people say avoid looking like an American. I say look like a Texan. Cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, a set in your shoulders, and a glint in your eye will give the average street hoodlum something to think about. We have a reputation internationally. In any case, it usually delights the ladies.
