Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*deep breath*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
57-7
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Ok, I promise, I'm done. Actually, I don't promise, but I'm going to try.
It's not that the Longhorns scored 57 points because it honestly could have been more like 80 on a different night when Bert Auburn field goals turn into Quinn Ewers touchdowns passes.
It's not that they were throwing on fourth down when up by 43 points in the fourth quarter,
You can add playing the Brett Yormark video in the stadium and Sark breaking his team down with a "F around and find out on three" because it's not about those things, individually, either.
It's that all of that happened in one night and the Longhorns kicked its Cousin Eddie into the shitter to such a degree that Tech fans can't really do anything other than sit the hell down and be quiet forever. Not for a year. Forever.
Oddly, the Longhorns didn't play an A+ game on Friday night and still put together its most dominant performance of the season. Could anything be more damning of Tech than that?
Again, imagine if the Longhorns had cashed in more than 3 of 8 red-zone attempts into touchdowns. We might have been talking about 2005 Big 12 Championship Game-level of ass-whipping.
Instead 5-7-7 will have to do.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
(Other thoughts on the game...)
* The Longhorns did what they did on Friday night while getting the lowest passing efficient number of the season (133.7) from Quinn Ewers. Until the touchdown to Xavier Worthy in the third quarter, he was toiling in the 105 game rating universe. He felt more tentative than last week and he's not really pushing the ball down the field. Yes, it didn't matter.
* Hot damn, Jaydon Blue. Those 121 yards on 10 carries are screaming that he needs to be a major piece of the offensive game plan the rest of the season and I don't just mean as a passing game back.
* Texas rushed for 302 freaking yards on 43 carries. The Longhorns just shoved a crap sandwich down Tech's throat in the running game.
* No Texas receiver had more than 49 yards receiving, yet it felt like there were a lot more plays to be had in the passing game. It just wasn't that kind of night.
* Tech basically quit in the final 7 minutes of the game.
* How did Xavier Worthy come out of that game without a serious injury? It was like watching Bruce Willis on the train in Unbreakable. I can't explain how he's fine.
* Bert Auburn went 5 for 5 on field goals and wore this before the game. It's his world and we're just living in it.
* Jett Freaking Bush. Forget about that ridiculous interception return for a touchdown. Can you believe that spin move that set up his first half sack? Collin Simmons, who?
* The Big 12 just doesn't all holding. Ever.
* Man, when Keilan Robinson gets the ball in the right spots, his suddenness is startling. Give him one of about 10 game balls.
* Arch Manning re-created the 2001 Cedric Benson first time on the field buzz. Guys, that's why that guy will be the next starting quarterback. You can't sit that on the bench.
* Shout out to Tre Wisner and Savion Red. Very strong late-game running game work.
* Jaylan Ford had a very quiet great game. Actually, how quiet can 8 tackles, 0.5 tackles for loss, 1 pass break-up and 2 quarterback hits actually be?
* Maalik Muhammad and Gavin Holmes held down the damn fort with Ryan Watts out of the line-up from the first play of the game on. Well done, gents.
* I loved seeing Anthony Hill get free as a pass rusher. He was very good tonight.
* I thought Derrick Williams played the best game of his young career tonight.
* The Texas defensive line was outstanding, led by the usual suspects.
* Close it out for us, Sark.
*deep breath*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
57-7
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Ok, I promise, I'm done. Actually, I don't promise, but I'm going to try.
It's not that the Longhorns scored 57 points because it honestly could have been more like 80 on a different night when Bert Auburn field goals turn into Quinn Ewers touchdowns passes.
It's not that they were throwing on fourth down when up by 43 points in the fourth quarter,
You can add playing the Brett Yormark video in the stadium and Sark breaking his team down with a "F around and find out on three" because it's not about those things, individually, either.
It's that all of that happened in one night and the Longhorns kicked its Cousin Eddie into the shitter to such a degree that Tech fans can't really do anything other than sit the hell down and be quiet forever. Not for a year. Forever.
Oddly, the Longhorns didn't play an A+ game on Friday night and still put together its most dominant performance of the season. Could anything be more damning of Tech than that?
Again, imagine if the Longhorns had cashed in more than 3 of 8 red-zone attempts into touchdowns. We might have been talking about 2005 Big 12 Championship Game-level of ass-whipping.
Instead 5-7-7 will have to do.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
(Other thoughts on the game...)
* The Longhorns did what they did on Friday night while getting the lowest passing efficient number of the season (133.7) from Quinn Ewers. Until the touchdown to Xavier Worthy in the third quarter, he was toiling in the 105 game rating universe. He felt more tentative than last week and he's not really pushing the ball down the field. Yes, it didn't matter.
* Hot damn, Jaydon Blue. Those 121 yards on 10 carries are screaming that he needs to be a major piece of the offensive game plan the rest of the season and I don't just mean as a passing game back.
* Texas rushed for 302 freaking yards on 43 carries. The Longhorns just shoved a crap sandwich down Tech's throat in the running game.
* No Texas receiver had more than 49 yards receiving, yet it felt like there were a lot more plays to be had in the passing game. It just wasn't that kind of night.
* Tech basically quit in the final 7 minutes of the game.
* How did Xavier Worthy come out of that game without a serious injury? It was like watching Bruce Willis on the train in Unbreakable. I can't explain how he's fine.
* Bert Auburn went 5 for 5 on field goals and wore this before the game. It's his world and we're just living in it.
* Jett Freaking Bush. Forget about that ridiculous interception return for a touchdown. Can you believe that spin move that set up his first half sack? Collin Simmons, who?
* The Big 12 just doesn't all holding. Ever.
* Man, when Keilan Robinson gets the ball in the right spots, his suddenness is startling. Give him one of about 10 game balls.
* Arch Manning re-created the 2001 Cedric Benson first time on the field buzz. Guys, that's why that guy will be the next starting quarterback. You can't sit that on the bench.
* Shout out to Tre Wisner and Savion Red. Very strong late-game running game work.
* Jaylan Ford had a very quiet great game. Actually, how quiet can 8 tackles, 0.5 tackles for loss, 1 pass break-up and 2 quarterback hits actually be?
* Maalik Muhammad and Gavin Holmes held down the damn fort with Ryan Watts out of the line-up from the first play of the game on. Well done, gents.
* I loved seeing Anthony Hill get free as a pass rusher. He was very good tonight.
* I thought Derrick Williams played the best game of his young career tonight.
* The Texas defensive line was outstanding, led by the usual suspects.
* Close it out for us, Sark.
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