I've fallen and can't get up...............

[clob94]

I used to make fun of those old people in the ridiculous commercials that would lie there on the ground and say that....... "Get up you old ba$tards!" I would say to myself. Well........ yesterday my 11 year old nephew challenged me to a scooter race.... the little two wheeled skate boards with the handles... I'm sure all your kids have them.... I accepted, though this scooter was obviously not built for someone who's 6'4....... it's the stupid competitor in me...... and I'm not "let you win" uncle... Fvck that! I'm "kick your a$$" uncle and make you get better--- daddy can be the dude that boosts your confidence by letting you win. Plus, I know no matter how many times a week I work out, father time is slowly eroding my physical abilities.

So I grab one of the scooters and we determine our race track.... down the street, take a right all the way to the main street and then back up to my brothers driveway in the cul-de-sac.
This is going to be cake..... off we go, I make the right turn and he's 10 lengths back. I get to the turn around and even bunny hop the curb on my way back for a little extra sauce on my taco. I round the left corner coming back and it's a boat race. Zipping down the home stretch I eye my brother rather steep curb, a perfect place to pull an "Ollie" and put the finishing touches on a win that will hopefully scar my nephew in a way that gives him the same blazing competitive fire that I had because I was the repeated victim of all my older cousin's constant drubbings..... 6 of them.... all dudes... all 3-7 years older than I.

And then it happens.... I went off center on the Ollie and went head over a$$ and landed square on my lower back.... on the curb. Like, straight up back breaker...... immediately my left side goes numb from my waist down...... oh it moves, I just can't feel it. I pop up off the ground to save face and immediately crash back down in a heap.

Younger brother: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! I've fallen and can't get up!".

I did the whole "I'm alright, I'm good, just a slip...... still beat that a$$ though...". (yes, I'm fvcking childish and competitive.....) Standing up literally hurt so bad I almost pi$$ed myself. Younger brother comes over and smacks me on the lower back and goes, "You ok old man?"...... I swear to god it hurt so bad I could feel my d!ck hole gasp for a breath.

I played it off as best I could and shortly after announced I was headed home because it was about to rain. I'm at the pub now (took me almost three minutes to walk from my door to the truck and get it) and I'm pounding Belgian beers for numbness.

Question for the "more mature" guys...... if I have a pain running from my lower back, down through my butt cheek and almost to the back of my knee-- is that your sciatic nerve? My dad, before he passed, had a bad sciatic. If it is, what the actual fvck can I do to make it feel better......

 

[Metcalf #2]

Although I'm pretty sure it is the sciatic, I've never gotten mine officially diagnosed. I've experienced the exact same pain you describe since I took a helmet to my lower back my sophomore year in high school.

I could barely walk for like a week after it happpened. It was the right side of my lower back where the injury occurred, and sometimes my right leg would just give out and I'd almost fall down.

My coaches didn't do sh*t. They basically thought I was faking, so they didn't take it seriously. My dad talked to them, guess he concurred with them, because he didn't take it seriously either, and wouldn't take me to the doctor.

So after high school I went for an oilfield job. They did back x-rays as part of their pre-employment physical. They wouldn't hire me because of something they found in my back. They wouldn't tell me what it was, only that it was something that may never bother me, but then again it might, and they couldn't take the chance.

So I've just dealt with it ever since. Usually I would only experience tightness and sharp lower back pain after rigorous physical activity like playing basketball for a few hours or running a mile or two. Sometimes that old shooting pain down to the back of my knee and numbness kicking in. As I get older, it's getting a little worse.

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to answer your question. Afaik, there's f*ck all that can be done about it. Tried heating pads, ice, standing on my f*cking head...nothing short of hydracodone would numb the pain when it flared up.

Now, after the initial injury I was back to full speed after about a week, only experiencing the pain after practices. Of course I was very young in great shape, so my recovery time could've been faster than yours will be. Sounds like you're still in good shape though, so hopefully it won't take you much longer.

 

[clob94]

Digging through the closet for the Demoral packages.

 

[TX1972]

Digging through the closet for the Demoral packages.

Don't forget the NSAID.

 

[2300 Nueces]

Dude, anti inflammatory to start. You have to de-compress the bones pinching the nerve or causing the disk to bulge. I worked loading tractor trailers while at UT 25 years ago. I destroyed a disk in my lower back. A chiropractor will help to start. Maybe spinal decompression would help as well.

 

[GuaranteedFresh!]

What nueces said.
I got blown up in afghanistan and had the same sensation for a good while thinking it was my sciatic.
A few mri, x-rays & a kitty cat scan later I found out I had blown out my L3 & L4 discs. They looked like a hamburger when the meat is hanging outside instead of in the middle of the buns.
Anti-inflamatories & muscle relaxers were the prescribed cocktail but honestly, you just have to walk like a corncob is stuck in your balloon knot for a week or so.
I refuse to have surgery until the day comes that it's crippling me. Until then, I use an inversion table and it works 100000x better than any RX grab bags.
Take it easy clob, you might have been in greek god shape while at the 40 but nobody beats father time........that s.o.b!

 

[clob94]

I'm going to quit b!tching. I fell off a scooter being a dumb a$$ and here you are getting blown up by an IED. Consider me humbled.

What nueces said.
I got blown up in afghanistan and had the same sensation for a good while thinking it was my sciatic.
A few mri, x-rays & a kitty cat scan later I found out I had blown out my L3 & L4 discs. They looked like a hamburger when the meat is hanging outside instead of in the middle of the buns.
Anti-inflamatories & muscle relaxers were the prescribed cocktail but honestly, you just have to walk like a corncob is stuck in your balloon knot for a week or so.
I refuse to have surgery until the day comes that it's crippling me. Until then, I use an inversion table and it works 100000x better than any RX grab bags.
Take it easy clob, you might have been in greek god shape while at the 40 but nobody beats father time........that s.o.b!

 

[OldHornInPA]

Went into the docs for a similar thing two weeks ago. Mine prescribed ice packs and heating pads (basically to sit on them) because my arthritic back was causing the problem and not a ruptured/slipped disc. Seems to be getting better. NSAIDs were useful but raised my BP -- so beware if you have hypertension as well.

 

[LongfellowDrew]

I used to make fun of those old people in the ridiculous commercials that would lie there on the ground and say that....... "Get up you old ba$tards!" I would say to myself. Well........ yesterday my 11 year old nephew challenged me to a scooter race.... the little two wheeled skate boards with the handles... I'm sure all your kids have them.... I accepted, though this scooter was obviously not built for someone who's 6'4....... it's the stupid competitor in me...... and I'm not "let you win" uncle... Fvck that! I'm "kick your a$$" uncle and make you get better--- daddy can be the dude that boosts your confidence by letting you win. Plus, I know no matter how many times a week I work out, father time is slowly eroding my physical abilities.

So I grab one of the scooters and we determine our race track.... down the street, take a right all the way to the main street and then back up to my brothers driveway in the cul-de-sac.
This is going to be cake..... off we go, I make the right turn and he's 10 lengths back. I get to the turn around and even bunny hop the curb on my way back for a little extra sauce on my taco. I round the left corner coming back and it's a boat race. Zipping down the home stretch I eye my brother rather steep curb, a perfect place to pull an "Ollie" and put the finishing touches on a win that will hopefully scar my nephew in a way that gives him the same blazing competitive fire that I had because I was the repeated victim of all my older cousin's constant drubbings..... 6 of them.... all dudes... all 3-7 years older than I.

And then it happens.... I went off center on the Ollie and went head over a$$ and landed square on my lower back.... on the curb. Like, straight up back breaker...... immediately my left side goes numb from my waist down...... oh it moves, I just can't feel it. I pop up off the ground to save face and immediately crash back down in a heap.

Younger brother: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! I've fallen and can't get up!".

I did the whole "I'm alright, I'm good, just a slip...... still beat that a$$ though...". (yes, I'm fvcking childish and competitive.....) Standing up literally hurt so bad I almost pi$$ed myself. Younger brother comes over and smacks me on the lower back and goes, "You ok old man?"...... I swear to god it hurt so bad I could feel my d!ck hole gasp for a breath.

I played it off as best I could and shortly after announced I was headed home because it was about to rain. I'm at the pub now (took me almost three minutes to walk from my door to the truck and get it) and I'm pounding Belgian beers for numbness.

Question for the "more mature" guys...... if I have a pain running from my lower back, down through my butt cheek and almost to the back of my knee-- is that your sciatic nerve? My dad, before he passed, had a bad sciatic. If it is, what the actual fvck can I do to make it feel better......

Sorry bro but you done messed up your back! I’ve had a bad back since my senior year car crash. Never been the same and it sounds like a sciatic. Mine some times numbs my toes.

 

[ASURAM2010]

I used to make fun of those old people in the ridiculous commercials that would lie there on the ground and say that....... "Get up you old ba$tards!" I would say to myself. Well........ yesterday my 11 year old nephew challenged me to a scooter race.... the little two wheeled skate boards with the handles... I'm sure all your kids have them.... I accepted, though this scooter was obviously not built for someone who's 6'4....... it's the stupid competitor in me...... and I'm not "let you win" uncle... Fvck that! I'm "kick your a$$" uncle and make you get better--- daddy can be the dude that boosts your confidence by letting you win. Plus, I know no matter how many times a week I work out, father time is slowly eroding my physical abilities.

So I grab one of the scooters and we determine our race track.... down the street, take a right all the way to the main street and then back up to my brothers driveway in the cul-de-sac.
This is going to be cake..... off we go, I make the right turn and he's 10 lengths back. I get to the turn around and even bunny hop the curb on my way back for a little extra sauce on my taco. I round the left corner coming back and it's a boat race. Zipping down the home stretch I eye my brother rather steep curb, a perfect place to pull an "Ollie" and put the finishing touches on a win that will hopefully scar my nephew in a way that gives him the same blazing competitive fire that I had because I was the repeated victim of all my older cousin's constant drubbings..... 6 of them.... all dudes... all 3-7 years older than I.

And then it happens.... I went off center on the Ollie and went head over a$$ and landed square on my lower back.... on the curb. Like, straight up back breaker...... immediately my left side goes numb from my waist down...... oh it moves, I just can't feel it. I pop up off the ground to save face and immediately crash back down in a heap.

Younger brother: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! I've fallen and can't get up!".

I did the whole "I'm alright, I'm good, just a slip...... still beat that a$$ though...". (yes, I'm fvcking childish and competitive.....) Standing up literally hurt so bad I almost pi$$ed myself. Younger brother comes over and smacks me on the lower back and goes, "You ok old man?"...... I swear to god it hurt so bad I could feel my d!ck hole gasp for a breath.

I played it off as best I could and shortly after announced I was headed home because it was about to rain. I'm at the pub now (took me almost three minutes to walk from my door to the truck and get it) and I'm pounding Belgian beers for numbness.

Question for the "more mature" guys...... if I have a pain running from my lower back, down through my butt cheek and almost to the back of my knee-- is that your sciatic nerve? My dad, before he passed, had a bad sciatic. If it is, what the actual fvck can I do to make it feel better......

Clob it seems that you could have added this post to the "dumbest things I've done" thread as well. But thanks for the laugh this morning, almost spit my coffee out!

 

[TX1972]

Clob, let's explain the mechanics. When the disc(between the vertebral bodies, the bones) ruptures and protrudes, it can squeeze the nerve roots leading to the sciatic nerve. Most "sciatica" is back related. If you have a foot drop or problems with your urinary or anal sphincters, those are indications for surgery. Most ruptured discs become less trouble when the swelling goes down. Thus, rest and NSAIDS. Some get completely well, others don't. If pain is still unbearable, epidural steroids give temporary relief. Do you remember when Andre Agassi was near the end of his career, he would get epidural steroids, then win a Grand Slam tournament. Strict bed rest can be very helpful acutely.

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

I used to make fun of those old people in the ridiculous commercials that would lie there on the ground and say that....... "Get up you old ba$tards!" I would say to myself. Well........ yesterday my 11 year old nephew challenged me to a scooter race.... the little two wheeled skate boards with the handles... I'm sure all your kids have them.... I accepted, though this scooter was obviously not built for someone who's 6'4....... it's the stupid competitor in me...... and I'm not "let you win" uncle... Fvck that! I'm "kick your a$$" uncle and make you get better--- daddy can be the dude that boosts your confidence by letting you win. Plus, I know no matter how many times a week I work out, father time is slowly eroding my physical abilities.

So I grab one of the scooters and we determine our race track.... down the street, take a right all the way to the main street and then back up to my brothers driveway in the cul-de-sac.
This is going to be cake..... off we go, I make the right turn and he's 10 lengths back. I get to the turn around and even bunny hop the curb on my way back for a little extra sauce on my taco. I round the left corner coming back and it's a boat race. Zipping down the home stretch I eye my brother rather steep curb, a perfect place to pull an "Ollie" and put the finishing touches on a win that will hopefully scar my nephew in a way that gives him the same blazing competitive fire that I had because I was the repeated victim of all my older cousin's constant drubbings..... 6 of them.... all dudes... all 3-7 years older than I.

And then it happens.... I went off center on the Ollie and went head over a$$ and landed square on my lower back.... on the curb. Like, straight up back breaker...... immediately my left side goes numb from my waist down...... oh it moves, I just can't feel it. I pop up off the ground to save face and immediately crash back down in a heap.

Younger brother: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me! I've fallen and can't get up!".

I did the whole "I'm alright, I'm good, just a slip...... still beat that a$$ though...". (yes, I'm fvcking childish and competitive.....) Standing up literally hurt so bad I almost pi$$ed myself. Younger brother comes over and smacks me on the lower back and goes, "You ok old man?"...... I swear to god it hurt so bad I could feel my d!ck hole gasp for a breath.

I played it off as best I could and shortly after announced I was headed home because it was about to rain. I'm at the pub now (took me almost three minutes to walk from my door to the truck and get it) and I'm pounding Belgian beers for numbness.

Question for the "more mature" guys...... if I have a pain running from my lower back, down through my butt cheek and almost to the back of my knee-- is that your sciatic nerve? My dad, before he passed, had a bad sciatic. If it is, what the actual fvck can I do to make it feel better......

Payback Bitch! for talking about Old people...



Hook'em

 

[TX1972]

Clob, how are you doing now?

 

[oldhorn2]

Clob....sorry I just read this....here is the deal....what you are describing is classic Sciatic pain. Whether that is your issue I have no idea. The trouble with sciatic pain is the only time you feel ok is when you are walking around. Walking was prescribed for me when mine was bad trouble.

For me, ice packs were my friend and heat packs were my enemy....useless! Do not fear the physical therapists( I did not say chiropracters....fear them...) they could evaluate you and determine whether you need to be bending forward or backwards.90% need to be arching their backs with a wedge....doing pushups lifting only your upper body and leaving your legs and pelvis glued to the floor.

Lets face it...in your younger years you may have been a Greek God, but as you get older you just become a goddamn Greek....

oh.....and never, ever...EVER let em cut on you until you have go to an iron lung.

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

Clob....sorry I just read this....here is the deal....what you are describing is classic Sciatic pain. Whether that is your issue I have no idea. The trouble with sciatic pain is the only time you feel ok is when you are walking around. Walking was prescribed for me when mine was bad trouble.

For me, ice packs were my friend and heat packs were my enemy....useless! Do not fear the physical therapists( I did not say chiropracters....fear them...) they could evaluate you and determine whether you need to be bending forward or backwards.90% need to be arching their backs with a wedge....doing pushups lifting only your upper body and leaving your legs and pelvis glued to the floor.

Lets face it...in your younger years you may have been a Greek God, but as you get older you just become a goddamn Greek....

oh.....and never, ever...EVER let em cut on you until you have go to an iron lung.

AND DON'T DRINK ANY BOOZE And NO SEX!


Hook'em

 

[LonghornMM]

Clob....sorry I just read this....here is the deal....what you are describing is classic Sciatic pain. Whether that is your issue I have no idea. The trouble with sciatic pain is the only time you feel ok is when you are walking around. Walking was prescribed for me when mine was bad trouble.

For me, ice packs were my friend and heat packs were my enemy....useless! Do not fear the physical therapists( I did not say chiropracters....fear them...) they could evaluate you and determine whether you need to be bending forward or backwards.90% need to be arching their backs with a wedge....doing pushups lifting only your upper body and leaving your legs and pelvis glued to the floor.

Lets face it...in your younger years you may have been a Greek God, but as you get older you just become a goddamn Greek....

oh.....and never, ever...EVER let em cut on you until you have go to an iron lung.

Solid take here!

 

[clob94]

Rgr that. Gracias.

Clob....sorry I just read this....here is the deal....what you are describing is classic Sciatic pain. Whether that is your issue I have no idea. The trouble with sciatic pain is the only time you feel ok is when you are walking around. Walking was prescribed for me when mine was bad trouble.

For me, ice packs were my friend and heat packs were my enemy....useless! Do not fear the physical therapists( I did not say chiropracters....fear them...) they could evaluate you and determine whether you need to be bending forward or backwards.90% need to be arching their backs with a wedge....doing pushups lifting only your upper body and leaving your legs and pelvis glued to the floor.

Lets face it...in your younger years you may have been a Greek God, but as you get older you just become a goddamn Greek....

oh.....and never, ever...EVER let em cut on you until you have go to an iron lung.

 

[oldhorn2]

Clob....you might give this site a look...

http://www.mckenzieinstitute.org/patients/what-is-the-mckenzie-method/

 

[GuaranteedFresh!]

I'm going to quit b!tching. I fell off a scooter being a dumb a$$ and here you are getting blown up by an IED. Consider me humbled.

It's all relative bud. Different circumstances, similar results. Other than a bum back, I came home in one piece physically & mentally. Too many weren't as lucky as me. I have a really hard time going to my va appointments. I feel so damn gulty seeing others there missing parts and here I am, complaining about waiting for an annual checkup.

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

It's all relative bud. Different circumstances, similar results. Other than a bum back, I came home in one piece physically & mentally. Too many weren't as lucky as me. I have a really hard time going to my va appointments. I feel so damn gulty seeing others there missing parts and here I am, complaining about waiting for an annual checkup.

Why feel guilty? They signed their name just like you and knew what could happen to them by doing so, just thank GOD your not one of them and besides we all earned our place at the table at the VA, nothing was given, when I went to VA , I always sat and talked to them and hear their story and then the next time ya go you have a friend when ya see him and still ya'll are waiting..LOL, , I bet that they are complaining also about it,,LOL!The VA has no leadership whatsoever...



Hook'em

 

[GuaranteedFresh!]

Why feel guilty? They signed their name just like you and knew what could happen to them by doing so, just thank GOD your not one of them and besides we all earned our place at the table at the VA, nothing was given, when I went to VA , I always sat and talked to them and hear their story and then the next time ya go you have a friend when ya see him and still ya'll are waiting..LOL, , I bet that they are complaining also about it,,LOL!The VA has no leadership whatsoever...
Hook'em

You're very right.....about all of it. The VA is so messed up at the top of the food chain, all you can do is talk to everyone else that's waiting right there with ya.
As far as feeling guilty, I guess it's just hard to wrap my head around why that guy and not me. Similar to a single plane crash survivor. No worries, I'm not depressed....it's just mentally taxing & hard to describe the feeling there.

 

[TX1972]

You're very right.....about all of it. The VA is so messed up at the top of the food chain, all you can do is talk to everyone else that's waiting right there with ya.
As far as feeling guilty, I guess it's just hard to wrap my head around why that guy and not me. Similar to a single plane crash survivor. No worries, I'm not depressed....it's just mentally taxing & hard to describe the feeling there.

The bigger problem is at the bottom of the pyramid. Government employees chose that job because it was easy and secure.

 

[GuaranteedFresh!]

The bigger problem is at the bottom of the pyramid. Government employees chose that job because it was easy and secure.

There's going to be outstanding employees and worthless employees just about everywhere. I believe the tail of a snake follows the path of the head. Good, honest leadership within the va system could easily get things ironed out but $$$ tends to change peoples behavior & choices. The way va makes its money is structurally flawed. So they were more concerned with cooking the books instead of serving the needs of vets.
Clob, sorry for veering your thread off target. Get yourself and inversion table & a 6er of shiner bock. Back pain gone....for a little while.

 

[TX1972]

There's going to be outstanding employees and worthless employees just about everywhere. I believe the tail of a snake follows the path of the head. Good, honest leadership within the va system could easily get things ironed out but $$$ tends to change peoples behavior & choices. The way va makes its money is structurally flawed. So they were more concerned with cooking the books instead of serving the needs of vets.
Clob, sorry for veering your thread off target. Get yourself and inversion table & a 6er of shiner bock. Back pain gone....for a little while.

I base my remarks on my personal experience as a medical student and resident. We largely trained at DVAH and Parkland. VA employees used the rules to avoid work all the time. During the first Iraq war, I had a friend, general surgeon, who was in the reserves, got called to Ft. Hood. When the civilian doctors got there, had a 6 wk wait for an appointment. By the time the shooting stopped, 1 day wait for an appointment. Then the army decided to give their regular doctors a month off. The reserves were kept away from their jobs and families to do this. Guess what happened when it was time to reup?

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

You're very right.....about all of it. The VA is so messed up at the top of the food chain, all you can do is talk to everyone else that's waiting right there with ya.
As far as feeling guilty, I guess it's just hard to wrap my head around why that guy and not me. Similar to a single plane crash survivor. No worries, I'm not depressed....it's just mentally taxing & hard to describe the feeling there.

Its like they say" When its your time, its your time!, Thats something ya can't control about who gets shot somewhere or killed, " When its you time , its your time" unless ya got that "Blue Glow" around ya head", I have seen that in Nam , some guy walks out in front of a ambush and half the platoon gets killed and he doesn't have a scratch...LOL!

Hook'em

 

[HornsRuleU]

Ouch. When I lived in a hilly area of Austin, they re-paved the street I was living on. And at first glance, the asphalt seemed smooth. The old skateboarder in me wanted to fly down that street! (I was about 35 at the time.)

So, I got a board from Walmart and went to it! No one watching, fortunately (?).

Almost immediately, I realized that my choice of wheels was poor (any board you buy from Walmart is bound to be cheap). The wheels were too hard. So the little bits of black gravel were slowing down the board to maybe 20 - 25mph? But my body was going 5mph faster than that! So, I had to jump off the front of the board and start running, FAST.

It was at this point that I finally began to consider that at the bottom of the hill, the road turned left, and at the very bottom was a parked car. Directly in front of me! And not just any parked car, but an old Chevy Impala, built like a tank.

I managed to veer to the right, and hoped to get over the curb and land safely in the tall grass that my neighbor (STILL) hadn't mowed.

What I didn't know, as I lost my feet and went flying towards the tall grass, was that it was full of stickers. Sandburs. Full of them.

And the other thing I didn't know was that under the sandburs was a metal plate. A solid steel road plate. I never knew people had those in their yards, but it was the bottom of the hill, so maybe it was to help with drainage?

Yeah, I didn't do that again.

 

[TX1972]

Clob, you need to tell us how you're doing.

 

[clob94]

Clob, you need to tell us how you're doing.

I'm good bro. Cataflam is the sh!t.

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

Clob, you need to tell us how you're doing.

Send him a damn ambulance with a keg in it and a couple of Babes, get that back warmed up agin.


Hook'em

 

[GuaranteedFresh!]

Send him a damn ambulance with a keg in it and a couple of Babes, get that back warmed up agin.


Hook'em

That'll just about cure anything for a while.