Please Allow for a little venting session: Child has been in my care since she was 3 months old (she is 4 years old now). Her Mother (My wife from Nam) and I were friends for years and fell in love got married and the rest is history. She was never in a relationship with the biological Dad, just was one of those things that happened and a pregnancy occurred. Bio dad at first didn't want to be in child's life due to rejection from my wife, but came to his senses after she was about 6 months old. We have her 90% of the time, with the Bio Dad getting 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends and every other major holiday (The child does NOT like to go and it can be a big emotional breakdown from time to time). Bio Dad hates my guts, we've had a few words, but it's mostly been due to his poor decision making (not taking her to the Dr. when sick, etc.). The kiddo and I are best buddies and I've been "Daddy" her whole life. Fast forward to recent events. The kiddo has to have a serious eye issue corrected via surgery, the eye doctor who is a family doctor that we have a good relationship with is the one who has been treating her over the past year. This Dr. is not covered by the insurance the Bio Dad is required to maintain on the child (he just joined the Air Force last year at 32 years old, so it's TriCare), so I've been paying out of pocket for each visit. My wife doesn't work, so I'm 100% the financial provider (which is a privilege and honor to do!). Bio Dad says he will not agree to the surgery on basis of out of pocket expense, and wants to get 2 other opinions... we do so, and all agree she needs this surgery. The original Doctor not covered by insurance is by far the best in reputation, results, and long term care so we naturally want what is best for the kid. I offer to pay 100% of the surgery. Bio Dad still doesn't approve the surgery... we file an emergency hearing with a judge to get it granted and allow for the Mom to have individual decision making going forward. At the 11th hour, the Bio Dad offers up that he will approve the surgery as long as I am not present for any of the Dr. visits or the surgery. (Keep in mind, I have medical training and when my daughter is sick, I'm the one that cares for her... and it's my pleasure to do so). We naturally agree because the focus here is getting the kid the surgery, but I can't get beyond how pathetic someone could be in leveraging a kids health care over his dislike for me. It's reprehensible.
In addition, this guy previously filed a CPS report back in 2021 that claimed I sexually assaulted the child. CPS dismissed the case after 10 days because it was absolutely ludicrous, and a waste of resources. If you know anything about when a report is made, the child has to go in for a forensic exam and it's absolutely brutal for the child. I'm honestly at my wits end with this guy, the attorneys we've talked to or had represent us over the years are just messengers/mediators, none seem to fight for any type of resolve. My wife and Bio Dad have had numerous parent facilitator meetings and nothing gets resolved because of the Bio Dad's lack of cooperation.
Recently, the Bio Dad claims that the child needs to see a psychologist, there have been 4 visits to this psychologist and she has stated to my wife that the Bio Dad has yet to disclose why he insists upon bringing her. The Psychologist said she would see her as often as needed, but that she doesn't see any particular reason as to why the child would need to regularly go.
Bio Dad's family has threatened me in public, flipped me off, and cursed at me... it's honestly unreal how they have acted. Keep in mind, I've never said a single word to them. I'm always trying to be encouraging and positive to the kiddo when she has to spend time with them, but apparently all they have is disdain for me. I'm not sure why loving and caring for a child that I chose to do so is such a bad thing... but it is what it is.
Am I crazy, or is this in a way total child abuse? I appreciate you all letting me vent... this is a good place to do that sometimes. I would appreciate some prayers for our sanity as it's just a constant and my poor wife is also at her wits end. If anyone on here is a family attorney and thinks there is a way for me to be represented individually to help offset some of this, I'm all ears. We are in San Antonio BTW...
One things I have learned about all of this is that the system is absolutely broken. An individual like me should be able to be afforded some rights since I've been in the Childs life for 99% of it and provide all financial, emotional, and environmental support. Over the years, I've tried to contact Reps in Austin to maybe have the Texas Family Code revised, but no one gets back to me... I just feel defeated in that no matter what good intentions I/We have for the child, the system is unable to validate anything but Bio parents... even if they are terrible to the child.
Thanks again... and wishing you all a Blessed Friday!
In addition, this guy previously filed a CPS report back in 2021 that claimed I sexually assaulted the child. CPS dismissed the case after 10 days because it was absolutely ludicrous, and a waste of resources. If you know anything about when a report is made, the child has to go in for a forensic exam and it's absolutely brutal for the child. I'm honestly at my wits end with this guy, the attorneys we've talked to or had represent us over the years are just messengers/mediators, none seem to fight for any type of resolve. My wife and Bio Dad have had numerous parent facilitator meetings and nothing gets resolved because of the Bio Dad's lack of cooperation.
Recently, the Bio Dad claims that the child needs to see a psychologist, there have been 4 visits to this psychologist and she has stated to my wife that the Bio Dad has yet to disclose why he insists upon bringing her. The Psychologist said she would see her as often as needed, but that she doesn't see any particular reason as to why the child would need to regularly go.
Bio Dad's family has threatened me in public, flipped me off, and cursed at me... it's honestly unreal how they have acted. Keep in mind, I've never said a single word to them. I'm always trying to be encouraging and positive to the kiddo when she has to spend time with them, but apparently all they have is disdain for me. I'm not sure why loving and caring for a child that I chose to do so is such a bad thing... but it is what it is.
Am I crazy, or is this in a way total child abuse? I appreciate you all letting me vent... this is a good place to do that sometimes. I would appreciate some prayers for our sanity as it's just a constant and my poor wife is also at her wits end. If anyone on here is a family attorney and thinks there is a way for me to be represented individually to help offset some of this, I'm all ears. We are in San Antonio BTW...
One things I have learned about all of this is that the system is absolutely broken. An individual like me should be able to be afforded some rights since I've been in the Childs life for 99% of it and provide all financial, emotional, and environmental support. Over the years, I've tried to contact Reps in Austin to maybe have the Texas Family Code revised, but no one gets back to me... I just feel defeated in that no matter what good intentions I/We have for the child, the system is unable to validate anything but Bio parents... even if they are terrible to the child.
Thanks again... and wishing you all a Blessed Friday!
