Watched the game this morning. Here's a few take aways.
Our offensive line missed more assignments than hey actually got right. Unbelievable right? Cosmi needs to put his big boy pants on immediately. He's long and light in the a$$ and missed so many dang assignments it's a wonder we were able to run at all. Left guard, I'm looking at you too Vahe. You got gapped so many times by a blitzing ____________ fill in the blank.
Sam.... I know you like leaving that ball in the belly during the Zoe read for a long time, but come on man..... I jumped up at one point last night, took a whiz, grabbed a beer and popped some popcorn and when I came back, you were
still carrying out your zone read. Pronto son! Pronto!
Boyd........ my bad..... Charcoal.... you are the weakest link in the secondary. You had four times last night where you were beaten badly and dumb luck, or a freshman safety, saved
your hide. Lincoln Riley saw that and is kicking his muh fuggin chops. Tighten it up dude or you will go down as the DB that lost us several games his senior year. It's called a slugo route bruh. They fake the slant and run the go. It ain't that hard. No where near as hard as covering a 7 route. (post corner)
Ingram---- them big dudes in the orange jerseys.... the ones infront of you... ya, those guys...... try following them and then breaking opposite of the way they are blocking. I know it's a fvcking weird concept, but you should try it.
Young...... the stadium end zones are really easy to understand. One faces north, one faces south. When you get the ball remember ---- the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. If you continue to run east and west your a$$ will SET
on the bench. Got me bruh?
Brenda...... know how many tackles you had? I'll make you a wager...... I wager you have more bottles of designer shampoo in your locker now.... not in your dorm.... in your freaking locker... than you had tackles last night. Because I promise you there's more than one bottle of shampoo. That's right peaches... you had, yet again.... 1 tackle all night. I see a theme developing here.
D-line..... I don't blame you for Boyd sucking so badly.... but I do blame you to an extent. If you could just pressure the QB... maybe boyd wouldn't look like he sucked so bad. Charcoal needs your help, Brenda.
OK, everybody not named Tim Feck, hit the showers.
Coach Feck...... where do I begin.
Oh, I know! Let's start with 4th and inches... no, no, no we'll get to that one in a bit.
How about 5-15. That's your 3rd down conversion rate. 33%. It's not even piss poor. It's worse. Did you know Feck, that TCU out gained us in yardage AND out rushed us too? Another fun fact..... TCU average 4.45 ypc. Know what we got??? 2.5.... a whopping 2.5 yards per carry. Another fun fact.... we had the ball 9 more minutes than they did. Did you know that Feck? But the kill shot, the one thing that let's me know you're a fvcking idiot, we were the recipient of four, count'em, 4 turnovers.
So let's review:
They out gained us in total yards.
Had a better 3rd down conversion %.
They out rushed us.
They had a high ypc average.
We held the ball 9 more minutes than they did.
We had zero turnovers to their four.
We won by two scores.
Zero turnovers for them and we probably lose this game because of........... You.
Now, tell me why on 4th and 1 with a 6'2 235 pound qb, YOU decide not to run a simple sneak. Instead, you want to be on sportscenter for out smarting old coach patterson by running a toss/pitch sweep to the SHORT side of the field.
Wait..... let me guess. That's what the sabremetrics computer program told you had the highest probability of success...... right?
You are fvcking clown shoes coach Feck.
Our offensive line missed more assignments than hey actually got right. Unbelievable right? Cosmi needs to put his big boy pants on immediately. He's long and light in the a$$ and missed so many dang assignments it's a wonder we were able to run at all. Left guard, I'm looking at you too Vahe. You got gapped so many times by a blitzing ____________ fill in the blank.
Sam.... I know you like leaving that ball in the belly during the Zoe read for a long time, but come on man..... I jumped up at one point last night, took a whiz, grabbed a beer and popped some popcorn and when I came back, you were
still carrying out your zone read. Pronto son! Pronto!
Boyd........ my bad..... Charcoal.... you are the weakest link in the secondary. You had four times last night where you were beaten badly and dumb luck, or a freshman safety, saved
your hide. Lincoln Riley saw that and is kicking his muh fuggin chops. Tighten it up dude or you will go down as the DB that lost us several games his senior year. It's called a slugo route bruh. They fake the slant and run the go. It ain't that hard. No where near as hard as covering a 7 route. (post corner)
Ingram---- them big dudes in the orange jerseys.... the ones infront of you... ya, those guys...... try following them and then breaking opposite of the way they are blocking. I know it's a fvcking weird concept, but you should try it.
Young...... the stadium end zones are really easy to understand. One faces north, one faces south. When you get the ball remember ---- the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. If you continue to run east and west your a$$ will SET
on the bench. Got me bruh?
Brenda...... know how many tackles you had? I'll make you a wager...... I wager you have more bottles of designer shampoo in your locker now.... not in your dorm.... in your freaking locker... than you had tackles last night. Because I promise you there's more than one bottle of shampoo. That's right peaches... you had, yet again.... 1 tackle all night. I see a theme developing here.
D-line..... I don't blame you for Boyd sucking so badly.... but I do blame you to an extent. If you could just pressure the QB... maybe boyd wouldn't look like he sucked so bad. Charcoal needs your help, Brenda.
OK, everybody not named Tim Feck, hit the showers.
Coach Feck...... where do I begin.
Oh, I know! Let's start with 4th and inches... no, no, no we'll get to that one in a bit.
How about 5-15. That's your 3rd down conversion rate. 33%. It's not even piss poor. It's worse. Did you know Feck, that TCU out gained us in yardage AND out rushed us too? Another fun fact..... TCU average 4.45 ypc. Know what we got??? 2.5.... a whopping 2.5 yards per carry. Another fun fact.... we had the ball 9 more minutes than they did. Did you know that Feck? But the kill shot, the one thing that let's me know you're a fvcking idiot, we were the recipient of four, count'em, 4 turnovers.
So let's review:
They out gained us in total yards.
Had a better 3rd down conversion %.
They out rushed us.
They had a high ypc average.
We held the ball 9 more minutes than they did.
We had zero turnovers to their four.
We won by two scores.
Zero turnovers for them and we probably lose this game because of........... You.
Now, tell me why on 4th and 1 with a 6'2 235 pound qb, YOU decide not to run a simple sneak. Instead, you want to be on sportscenter for out smarting old coach patterson by running a toss/pitch sweep to the SHORT side of the field.
Wait..... let me guess. That's what the sabremetrics computer program told you had the highest probability of success...... right?
You are fvcking clown shoes coach Feck.
