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Deuce on first date advice

Ok so my bro went out with a hottie last night. Dinner, saw some shows, and then he took her home to score. Had already discussed PIIB and she was so down.

Bro is giving the Wolf Pack play by play on group chat and a good time being had by all. He’s making a nightcap at home and promising videos and then delivers some news that got us all shooketh. Apparently she excused herself, went in guest bathroom, and dropped a giant deuce.

He could smell it before she came out, and then he went in later to verify. The smell was overwhelming, and he produced photographic evidence of a skid mark. Simply no way to deny.

Anywho, we advised that he fake a work emergency and take her home. He objected momentarily and then agreed. It was a very sad moment for us all buttt not sure there was another choice. Did we do the right thing?

I personally wood have to ditch her irregardless of the advice.

5-star WR Dakorien Moore talks LSU commitment and what it would take for UT to flip him

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Wide receiver Dakorien Moore has been committed to LSU since August of last year, but he’s also one of the country’s top overall prospects, so other schools haven’t exactly thrown in the towel on their pursuit of Moore’s pledge.

Schools like Texas, LSU and Ohio State are among those in hot pursuit and while Moore is keeping an open mind, he says his bond with the LSU staff is strong, and it’s what led him to commit to the Tigers so early in the first place.

“It’s their communication. I’m really big on relationships. From the start of this thing, LSU has just been on top with the relationship and communication. That’s really what sold it for me,” Moore said. “And on top of that, they are Receiver-U. They’ve produced some of the best receivers out, so of course I wanted to follow that legacy.”

Moore is listening to the recruiting pitches of the other schools in which he still has an interest, and he has at least one key unofficial visit coming up soon.

“I’m hitting Ohio State sometime soon. I don’t know exactly when but sometime soon,” Moore said. “And I’m trying to get back to Texas and Oregon.”

Moore said he could possibly be in Austin for UT’s spring game on April 20, but he’s still unsure of the details of that trip.

If another school is going to have a realistic chance of flipping the Duncanville standout, he said it’ll come down to the same thing that helped LSU land his commitment originally – relationships.

“Honestly, it’s really nothing specific. Like I said, I’m really big on relationships. Everybody I’m in contact with right now is building a relationship with me,” Moore said. “I’m loving everything that they bring. I’m just keeping my eyes open and seeing what they have to offer.”

LSU, of course, won’t go down in this race without a fight. The Tigers are off to a fast start in the 2025 recruiting cycle, including a commitment from 5-star quarterback Bryce Underwood. Having Underwood on LSU’s commitment list is extremely appealing, Moore said.

“It definitely is. Being that we have the number one quarterback in the nation, him proving that he’s number one, I’ve seen it firsthand,” Moore said. “So the legacy that we’re fixing to have and the relationship that we’re building, it’s unmatched. On top of everything I’ve already seen, that’s another factor.”

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As for Texas, Moore said he keeps in touch with several members of the UT staff, including Jeff Banks, Steve Sarkisian, Chris Jackson and Chris Gilbert, who was recently re-hired to serve as Special Assistant to the Head Coach.

Looking further into the calendar, Moore is looking forward to taking some official visits, likely in the summer. The schools he’s in consistent contact with are likely to get those key visits.

“LSU, of course. Oregon, definitely. Texas, definitely,” Moore said of official visits. “Ohio State is jumping into the mix so I’m going to visit there. If I like the visit then we’re going to see if we can schedule something.”

Moore is ranked as a five-star prospect by Rivals.com. He’s the nation’s No.-1 ranked wide receiver prospect and is the No. 4-ranked player regardless of position.

Ketch's 10 Thoughts From The Weekend (You want nuggets, I got your nuggets)

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Let's not make this rocket science. I know what you guys want.

joy love GIF by McDonald's CZ/SK


I'm ending a weekend full of nuggets with more nuggets. I'm not even sure how many nuggets are in the box. 6? 10? 20?

Let's find out ...

* There's a very strong belief and an increased excitement level about the 2024 Texas secondary. Some of it has to do with the players they've acquired in the last two years of recruiting. Some of it has to do with a secondary that the coaches felt held on for dear life at times in 2023. Multiple team sources have conveyed that the belief among staff members is that the Longhorns squeezed everything out of the turnip that could be squeezed in the secondary last year and that the Longhorns caught a break that the weakness on the back end of the defense didn't keep Texas from a championship/playoff bid. "We were fortunate to get where we did with that group," one source said.

* "Andrew Mukuba is better than anybody we had back (in the secondary) a year ago. No question. He's going to stabilize us and allow us to let Derek Williams loose," one source said.

* "Xavier (Filsamie) is better at his worst than the safeties we had last year were at their best. I can't stress enough that we simply survived with what we had last year," a source said.

* The Ethan Burke Off-season Hype Train Continues. Choo-choo! After being a buzzword throughout the last few weeks, Orangebloods had even more sourcing from the weekend mention the former Austin Westlake star as one of the standouts from the off-season coming into the Spring game.

* From a hype standpoint, these three defensive linemen have received the most amount of hype by a country mile: Burke, Trey Moore and Colin Simmons. No other defensive tackle, end or edge belongs in the conversation with those three from an excitement standpoint from those talking behind the scenes.

* The defensive tackle position continues to be a work in progress and when one OB source was asked to single any of the defensive tackles out from the off-season workouts, he declined.

* A different source told me on Sunday that Alex January will be given every opportunity this spring to work his way into a role in the rotation. "How can anyone say no at this point? No doors are being shut at this point," a source said.

* Another source told me on Sunday that the Longhorns are "Still working on replacements."

* "Quinn (Ewers) and Arch (Manning) have both worked their butts off in the off-season and that likely won't stop now (in spring break). You know Arch is going to do nothing but football stuff this week because that's all he thinks about, so I'd bet my house that we'll see Quinn on social media working out. I'd be shocked if either were going to Cabo," a source that knows both players told me via text on Sunday. "Who knows, maybe they'll take a day or two off, but I doubt it."

* I definitely don't get the feeling that it's by design that Savion Red is listed at 240 pounds on the new roster. "I don't know what that's about. All this will do is open the doors for the freshmen to take his roles. It's a gift for the coaches (because they can give snaps to the freshmen running backs)," a source said.

* On another note, everyone behind the scenes loves Tre Wisner and singles out his work ethic.

* Outside of Trevor Goosby, I'm not expecting any of the other offensive linemen in the 2023 recruiting class (Andre Cojoe, Connor Stroh, Jaydon Chatman and Peyton Kirkland) to play much in 2024. All of them probably need another season of development.

* I was told that Matthew Golden has been solid in workouts, but that no one is quite sure what they have in him. "I'm looking forward to seeing what he can do in the spring. I don't think it's automatic that he's going to start," a source told me on Sunday.

* The same source from the Golden note said that he thinks the wide receivers to watch in the spring are Deandre Moore and Ryan Niblett. "If one of those two makes a big jump like they are capable of, they could play inside and we can move (Isaiah) Bond all over the place. On the first day or the spring, I think both of those players could be in our top four," a source said. "No one should assume those two aren't good enough to okay right now for us if there was a game tomorrow."

No. 2 - My personal 2025 Super Blue Chips ...

Finally... I've finished my updated LSR Rankings for the Class of 2025.

Part of the delay with updating the list was laziness. It just takes sooooo much time to watch 300+ prospects. Part of the delay had to do with the fact that I felt pretty comfortable with my last list because of the 14 super blue chips in the state of Texas that I have rated with high-four star or five-star status, nearly 2/3 were already rated as such.

But, it was beyond time for an update, so here we are. I'll have a complete breakdown of the ins and outs of the list on Monday, but I'm spending most of my focus in this column on the difference makers of difference makers.

In my mind, it breaks down by position like this: 3 WR, 2 TE, 3 OL, 1 DT, 1 DE, 1 LB and 3 DB.

No quarterbacks or running backs, but two tight ends and a defensive end that could play tight end? Three offensive linemen worthy of five-star discussion? More big players (7) than skill players (6).

Yeah, it's a different kind of year in the state of Texas.

No. 3 - Let's talk about the offensive players ...

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One of the big pieces of information to come out of Sunday's Under Armour Camp is that Moore may visit the 40 Acres for the first time since his commitment to the Tigers back in August for the Texas spring game. As a prospect, he's just absurd with his combination of speed and raw athleticism. He's going to be a scary offensive weapon at the next level.

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Here's what @Alex Dunlap said about him a few months ago: "Oh man. I wasn't expecting this. I must have watched that highlight reel 4 times before even writing a word. My goodness. Lockett is a freaky acrobat and circus-act-style receiver. Big hands and wide catch radius. A true thrill to watch in the highlights." Yup, I agree. He's not Moore, but he's not far behind him. The fight for Lockett is going to be immense, but he's taking his official visit to Texas on the big June 21 weekend.

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I've got him in the wide receiver category, but the truth of the matter is that he should be listed as an athlete because he could easily be a star on either side of the ball. The Longhorns are the betting favorite for Terry if they push. Honestly, I'm not sure who to compare him to. He kind of reminds me of former Texas wide receiver Malcolm Williams, but he's not nearly as raw as Williams was as a prospect. I'll have to keep thinking about the right comp because it just hasn't quite come to me yet. Actually, it just did ... he's basically San Antonio's version of Jonah Williams.

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He's the best tight end prospect from the state of Texas for my money since Martellus Bennett in 2005. Ultimately, this is going to come down to the Longhorns and Aggies when the dust clears. This is the type of recruitment where playing in the playoff, producing all of those 2024 NFL Draft picks and signing his first cousin/former teammate from Jasper a few months ago have to matter.

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There's not a lot to say about this kid other than he's a beautiful tackle prospect with all of his best football in front of him. He's set his official visit to Texas before anywhere else and he's coming in on the June 21st weekend. Anything other than a victory here will be a massive disappointment.

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I'm not quite ready to call him a 5-star, but I'm pretty damn close. His performance at the Under Armour Camp on Sunday did nothing to dampen his soaring stock. Like Moore, he's also scheduled to visit Texas on April 20th for the spring game and he plans to return for an official visit in the summer. That he's coming to Texas instead of Texas A&M on April 20th can't be viewed as anything but a positive. He's making a choice.
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I'm still in love with his frame, nastiness and raw athleticism. He has a chance to emerge as the best lineman in this class in time. His official visit to Texas is set for June 14th and will be taking a spring trip on March 29th.

The Longhorns will host all seven of these players on visits this spring or on official visits or both. Sarkisian has to like his chances of winning more of the seven than losing more.

No. 4 - Let's talk about the defensive players...

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For my money, he's still the most athletic and dynamic big-bodied defensive tackle prospect in the state of Texas. Contrary to some skepticism, I'm hearing from people on the ground in his hometown that the Longhorns are in as good of a position to win him over as anyone he's considering. Expect this to be a Texas/Texas A&M battle to the finish line. Expect a visit list to start to emerge in the next few weeks.

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The Longhorns landed a prospect in Jackson that should be in the discussion for five-star status. There's nothing more sure-fire to end up in the NFL from decades worth of recruiting data than a 6-6+, 250+-pound defensive lineman with athleticism that has the positional versatility to also be a national tight end prospect.

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Townsend is listed as a tight end, but I think I'd have this guy playing on the defensive side of the ball as a linebacker. Hell, I might play him on both sides of the ball. I love the kid's athleticism. After visiting in January, Townsend is expected to visit on April 6 and again on his official visit on the big June 21 weekend.

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He's a playmaking sideline to sideline nuclear weapon with sub 11.0 100-meter speed. The Longhorns are the betting favorite.
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I wish I could tell you that this kid isn't a bad-ass and is overrated, but he's not. He's everything his 5-star ranking suggests about him and the Longhorns just aren't in the picture. It might be the only lost cause of the 14 super blue chips I've rated in the state.

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I've raved about Williams for two years. I just love him. Oklahoma is the betting favorite and Oregon might be No. 2, but the Longhorns are still very much under consideration. Getting this kid back on campus at the right time could be everything.

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Brew is another player scheduled to come in for an unofficial visit on April 6th and while the Longhorns are a bit of a trendy pick for the firmer Ohio prep star, the Buckeyes aren't going away in his recruitment. It'll be interesting to see how his official visit schedule unfolds.

No. 5 - Counting up the consensus super blue chips...

If we take a look at all of the super blue chip rankings between the LSR list, Rivals, 247, On3 and ESPN, here's how the breakdown looks:

Super Blue Chip Scale: Rivals (6.0+), 247 (95+), ESPN (85+), On3 (95+)

Super Duper Blue Chip (Unanimous among all 5): Moore and Sanchez

4X Super Blue Chip: Fasusi (LSR, Rivals, On3, ESPN), Jonah Williams (LSR, Rivals, 247, ESPN)

3X Super Blue Chip: Haywood (LSR, Rivals, On3), Lockett (LSR, 247, On3) and
Brew (LSR, Rivals, On3)

2X Super Blue Chip: Terry (LSR, On3)

1X Super Blue Chip: Jackson (LSR), Rogers (LSR), Armstrong (LSR), Sanders (LSR), Pettijohn (LSR), Townsend (LSR) and Smith Orogbo (On3)

No. 6 – Beard vs Terry (Texas record vs. Texas record) …

I hate to steal @CS' content, but when I saw this post on Saturday, I had to look up the records.

As I type this, I still don't know exactly what I'm going to find.

* Overall: Terry 41-18 (.695) and Beard 29-13 (.690)

* Big 12 Play: Terry 20-14 (.588) and Beard 10-8 (.556)

* NCAA Tournament: Terry 3-1 (.750) and Beard 1-1 (.500)

What does all of this mean? Maybe not much. Who knows?

I think the thing that I might take away from the numbers more than anything was Terry's 9-9 record in Big 12 play this year in his first as full-time Texas head coach vs. Beard's 10-8 record in Big 12 play in his first season. In a tougher overall conference, Terry was only one game behind Beard.

Again, I would hate to draw too many conclusions, but this season hasn't been as awful as people have made it out to be, even if its defining moments have not yet taken place.

Meanwhile, Terry has Texas ranked 23rd in NET, while Beard has Ole Miss ranked 84th.

Just some numbers to chew on ...

No. 7 - More Texas-related thoughts rolling around in my head ...

* It wasn't a thing of beauty, but at the end of the day the Longhorns did what they needed to in Lubbock this weekend by taking two out of three. Bottom line.

* Everyone needs to prepare themselves for the fact that Texas Baseball is going to be a bit of a roller coaster ride all season. Don't be shocked when there's a loopty loop on any given weekend.

* Texas will probably lose its No. 1 ranking in softball after dropping a 12-10 game to Houston over the weekend, even if it did come back to win the series on Sunday. Yes, OU swept Iowa State if you're wondering.

* The Longhorns need to win the Big 12 Women's Tournament if they want a No. 1 seed. Feels as simple as that. If they lose to either No. 16 Kansas State or No. 19 Oklahoma in Kansas City, I would expect them to be the No. 2 seed in the same bracket as No. 1 USC. Either way, it would make sense to see them paired with the Trojans.

* No pressure, Scottie, but can you get No. 100 at The Masters?
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No. 8 – BUY or SELL …

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B/S - at some point in the near future, if not already, top WR recruits will shy away from signing w Texas because of Sarks tendency to bring in high level transfers.

(Sell) I think Johntay Cook and Ryan Wingo, along with the draft production at the position beginning in the spring, will make sure that the concerns fall flat.

B/S: Texas develops an unexpected new rival in the SEC. Perhaps based on fun location or just because they don't like the new kid on the block. The other UT? Florida? Kentucky with the basketball angle?

(Buy) Georgia.

B/S Ketch attends at least 1 SEC road game next year.

(Buy) I really want to be at Kyle Field, even it means not working that night.

Texas is still planning to get a starting level DT in the portal?

(Buy) Barring this position making big strides this spring, I say yes.

B/S. The kool aid this offseason is the sweetest in 20 years.

(Sell) It doesn't feel that way to me.

B/S: Silas Bolden shows up this summer and takes a starting role from one of the three spring WR starters.

(Buy) I think he's the best player they brought in at the wide receiver position, even if he doesn't have as much upside as Bond.

B/S: You would rank Dak Moore as the top must get WR recruit since R. Williams?

(Sell) Maybe since Garrett Wilson.

B/S: Colton Vasek will be in the edge rotation before the 2024 season ends.

(Buy) Maybe not in the two-deep, but I think he'll get some snaps.

Lets get right to it B/S Texas makes the national championship game this year

(Sell) I'll take the field at this point. It's too early to be so emphatic about such a thing.

B/S. Texas announces their arrival in the SEC with authority and blows the doors off aggy at Kyle Field in November

(Sell) I think that is going to be a very tight game.

No. 9 – Scattershooting all over the place …

... My goodness, Houston beat the hell out of Kansas on Saturday.

... I loathe Kim Mulkey. It's been a while since I've said it. Felt needed. She's trash.

... On the other hand, Caitlin Clark just keeps doing the damn thing.

... Mac Jones is essentially the watch that Louis Winthorpe III was wearing in Trading Places. He's the thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland, and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is the sports watch of the 1980s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty-five dollars retail! It tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad. In Jacksonville... Mac Jones is worth $50.

... Was Russell Wilson really that bad last year?

... Jerry Jones can save us with the "all-in" bit. We've been to the rodeo and seen the clowns.

... The NBA has lost me since the Joel Embiid injury. There's just too much other stuff going on and the NBA has kind of fallen into the backdrop for now.

... I'm going to miss Klopp vs. Pep. I'm not sure if the Premier League will ever quite see anything like it again.

... Arsenal are playing fantastic football.

... Austin FC stole a draw from the jaws of victory on Saturday night. I'm afraid it's going to be a long season.

... The MLS has scab refs on the field right now and I'm telling you right now after watching three weeks of MLS, the scabs are better than what the Premier League is working with and it's not even close.

... Did I really miss anything by not catching UFC299?

No. 10 - Top 10: John Candy ...

Earlier this week, the 30th anniversary of John Candy's passing occurred and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

30 years? Really? R-e-a-l-l-y?

No matter how quickly it feels like the time has flown by, it's been three decades. Time to do a list for one of the true Canadian treasures.

Honorable Mention: Stripes, Spaceballs, Only The Lonely, Volunteers, Little Shop of Horrors and Once Upon a Crime

10. Brewster's Millions

This could have easily been Spaceballs or Stripes, but there were always going to be tough cuts and I decided to go with this movie because all these years later, it's the one I prefer to see again and again and again.

9. Cool Runnings

This is my wife's No. 1 Candy movie and I couldn't leave it out.

8. Home Alone

Like the movie just below this, he has a small, but critical role in one of the most re-watchable movies ever made.

7. Vacation

Candy is just a supporting star in this classic, but he's also a supporting star in the climactic scene of the movie.

6. The Great Outdoors

Yes, the raccoons might have been the underrated quiet stars of the movie, but Candy's destroying the Old 96er has been an inspiration for eating challenges since the movie came out.

5. JFK

Candy steals JFK for a full 5 minutes as Dean Andrews having lunch with Jim Garrison.

4. Splash

Candy is a tour de force in his role as Tom Hanks' big brother. The racquetball court scenes are some of the funniest of the 80s. Here's Ron Howard telling the story of how it unfolded the day of the shooting: "One day we have this racquetball court and he’s late. And John finally pulls up and rolls out of the car and he says, 'Ron, I'm so sorry.' I said, 'It's OK. You're late, but we'll get going.' He said, 'No, no, no. Look, I'm drunk. Here's what happened, I'm telling you the truth: I'm at the bar and Jack Nicholson is at the bar. Jack Nicholson knew my name, Ron! And he starts buying me drinks. I said, ‘But I've got to go shoot.’ And he said, ‘You're going to be all right, kid. Don't worry about it.’ And he kept buying me drinks. I never went to bed, Ron. I never went to bed."

This is what he gave us.

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3. Uncle Buck

This is going to be some people's No. 1 and I respect that, but it gets the bronze medal from me.

2. Summer Rental

I think I've seen this movie on cable at least 500 times. We needed at least 5 more Candy/Rip Torn collaborations.

1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

One of my favorite movies of all time and Candy's ability to be funny and tender at the same time is the soul of the movie. Every time Candy says, "Marie's been dead for 8 yeays,"... well.. the tears flow. The end of this movie is just perfect.

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Car insurance rates: Lexus Nexus

Interesting read from a nyt article today... about climbing car insurance rates, one of two main drivers for most recent inflation rate at 3.2% released today, the other one is air fare rates. The article pointed out a new factor item in car insurance rates: Lexus Nexus. Car insurance companies are now using that service to get reports of smart car (EV:s) gps activity (fast acceleration, speeding, quick stops, etc.) and using that data as factors in insurance premium rates. You can request your report via the below link, it's free to receive.

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