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Hookedonit

Hookedonit

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Mar 21, 2018
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Seriously where is the best steakhouse in Austin for food and atmosphere to take a date and impress her? Thanks in advance.
 
Hookedonit said:
Seriously where is the best steakhouse in Austin for food and atmosphere to take a date and impress her? Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
2 things.

1. Does she have big tits?. I know that sounds like a stupid question, but it's relevant. If she has big tits, you take her to Steiner Ranch Steak house.

"Why Clob-- What do tits have anything to do with this.........?"

Well, Steiner Ranch overlooks Lake Travis. You can sit out on the deck and watch the sun set. They have cooling fans, but she won't know that and she will dress comfy for warm weather--- like a low cut sundress-- and you'll get a better view of her tits.

2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker. Top shelf drinks that are excellent.

Don't forget to pull out her chair and make a joke about chivalry in this day and age.

When paying the bill, leave the book open and the bill viewable as you look for your wallet-- take your time-- but don't be obvious.
If you pay with plastic-- make sure it's the platinum card. If cash, hundos only.

If you order red wine, brush up on the menu first. Know how to pronounce the sh!t you're going to order. Do your homework.
Ask for the Sommelier's recommendation. Know how to fvcking pronounce "sommelier"......"som" like "somber" "mel" "yeah". Not ya.... "yeah". Like "hey" or "gay".
Som Mel yeah.... now say it fast.
Good.


When handed the cork, casually sniff it, don't ram it up under your nose.
When he pours you a sample, swirl the wine around the glass for 5 trips. 5 swirls. That's it. Pick the glass up BY THE STEM.... not the goblet---Don't be a Neanderthal. Thumb, index and middle finger only.
Taste the wine.... swish it around like mouthwash for 1 second, swallow-- DO NOT GARGLE--then replace your glass and NOD in approval.
Don't say "yes" or "tastes good" or "fill me up, fvcker!".

Nod.

After the wine pour, offer her the cork. Let her smell it. Then ask her if she wants to keep it. She'll ask "why". You say "oh I dunno.. maybe if tonight goes well we start a collection."

Do this, and you'll end up taking the skin boat to tuna town.

Do it not, and it's back home slapping the ham to pornhub.
 
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clob94 said:
2 things.

1. Does she have big tits?. I know that sounds like a stupid question, but it's relevant. If she has big tits, you take her to Steiner Ranch Steak house.

"Why Clob-- What do tits have anything to do with this.........?"

Well, Steiner Ranch overlooks Lake Travis. You can sit out on the deck and watch the sun set. They have cooling fans, but she won't know that and she will dress comfy for warm weather--- like a low cut sundress-- and you'll get a better view of her tits.

2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker. Top shelf drinks that are excellent.

Don't forget to pull out her chair and make a joke about chivalry in this day and age.

When paying the bill, leave the book open and the bill viewable as you look for your wallet-- take your time-- but don't be obvious.
If you pay with plastic-- make sure it's the platinum card. If cash, hundos only.

If you order red wine, brush up on the menu first. Know how to pronounce the sh!t you're going to order. Do your homework.
Ask for the Sommelier's recommendation. Know how to fvcking pronounce "sommelier"......"som" like "somber" "mel" "yeah". Not ya.... "yeah". Like "hey" or "gay".
Som Mel yeah.... now say it fast.
Good.


When handed the cork, casually sniff it, don't ram it up under your nose.
When he pours you a sample, swirl the wine around the glass for 5 trips. 5 swirls. That's it. Pick the glass up BY THE STEM.... not the goblet---Don't be a Neanderthal. Thumb, index and middle finger only.
Taste the wine.... swish it around like mouthwash for 1 second, swallow-- DO NOT GARGLE--then replace your glass and NOD in approval.
Don't say "yes" or "tastes good" or "fill me up, fvcker!".

Nod.

After the wine pour, offer her the cork. Let her smell it. Then ask her if she wants to keep it. She'll ask "why". You say "oh I dunno.. maybe if tonight goes well we start a collection."

Do this, and you'll end up taking the skin boat to tuna town.

Do it not, and it's back home slapping the ham to pornhub.
Click to expand...
Been to Stiener a few times and never had a bad meal. If you’re going to sit outside might as well wait for sunset and I believe on the weekends they have live music.

So I agree with Andrew Tate ..aka Clob.

@Hookedonit If in downtown also try Hestia a little different than a typical steak house but good.
 
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clob94 said:
2 things.

1. Does she have big tits?. I know that sounds like a stupid question, but it's relevant. If she has big tits, you take her to Steiner Ranch Steak house.

"Why Clob-- What do tits have anything to do with this.........?"

Well, Steiner Ranch overlooks Lake Travis. You can sit out on the deck and watch the sun set. They have cooling fans, but she won't know that and she will dress comfy for warm weather--- like a low cut sundress-- and you'll get a better view of her tits.

2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker. Top shelf drinks that are excellent.

Don't forget to pull out her chair and make a joke about chivalry in this day and age.

When paying the bill, leave the book open and the bill viewable as you look for your wallet-- take your time-- but don't be obvious.
If you pay with plastic-- make sure it's the platinum card. If cash, hundos only.

If you order red wine, brush up on the menu first. Know how to pronounce the sh!t you're going to order. Do your homework.
Ask for the Sommelier's recommendation. Know how to fvcking pronounce "sommelier"......"som" like "somber" "mel" "yeah". Not ya.... "yeah". Like "hey" or "gay".
Som Mel yeah.... now say it fast.
Good.


When handed the cork, casually sniff it, don't ram it up under your nose.
When he pours you a sample, swirl the wine around the glass for 5 trips. 5 swirls. That's it. Pick the glass up BY THE STEM.... not the goblet---Don't be a Neanderthal. Thumb, index and middle finger only.
Taste the wine.... swish it around like mouthwash for 1 second, swallow-- DO NOT GARGLE--then replace your glass and NOD in approval.
Don't say "yes" or "tastes good" or "fill me up, fvcker!".

Nod.

After the wine pour, offer her the cork. Let her smell it. Then ask her if she wants to keep it. She'll ask "why". You say "oh I dunno.. maybe if tonight goes well we start a collection."

Do this, and you'll end up taking the skin boat to tuna town.

Do it not, and it's back home slapping the ham to pornhub.
Click to expand...
God damm! 😂

Where do you come up with shit! I can't stop laughing! 👍
 
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clob94 said:
2 things.

1. Does she have big tits?. I know that sounds like a stupid question, but it's relevant. If she has big tits, you take her to Steiner Ranch Steak house.

"Why Clob-- What do tits have anything to do with this.........?"

Well, Steiner Ranch overlooks Lake Travis. You can sit out on the deck and watch the sun set. They have cooling fans, but she won't know that and she will dress comfy for warm weather--- like a low cut sundress-- and you'll get a better view of her tits.

2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker. Top shelf drinks that are excellent.

Don't forget to pull out her chair and make a joke about chivalry in this day and age.

When paying the bill, leave the book open and the bill viewable as you look for your wallet-- take your time-- but don't be obvious.
If you pay with plastic-- make sure it's the platinum card. If cash, hundos only.

If you order red wine, brush up on the menu first. Know how to pronounce the sh!t you're going to order. Do your homework.
Ask for the Sommelier's recommendation. Know how to fvcking pronounce "sommelier"......"som" like "somber" "mel" "yeah". Not ya.... "yeah". Like "hey" or "gay".
Som Mel yeah.... now say it fast.
Good.


When handed the cork, casually sniff it, don't ram it up under your nose.
When he pours you a sample, swirl the wine around the glass for 5 trips. 5 swirls. That's it. Pick the glass up BY THE STEM.... not the goblet---Don't be a Neanderthal. Thumb, index and middle finger only.
Taste the wine.... swish it around like mouthwash for 1 second, swallow-- DO NOT GARGLE--then replace your glass and NOD in approval.
Don't say "yes" or "tastes good" or "fill me up, fvcker!".

Nod.

After the wine pour, offer her the cork. Let her smell it. Then ask her if she wants to keep it. She'll ask "why". You say "oh I dunno.. maybe if tonight goes well we start a collection."

Do this, and you'll end up taking the skin boat to tuna town.

Do it not, and it's back home slapping the ham to pornhub.
Click to expand...
Dang, for a lineman, that was pretty darn good! I'm saving this!
 
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LAY THE WOODY said:
God damm! 😂

Where do you come up with shit! I can't stop laughing! 👍
Click to expand...
Come up with what?

This is how I roll. I grew up with a mother that basically sent me to finishing school. She would literally quiz me about dining china and silver utensils. She told me "one day, you'll be at a VERY nice meal somewhere and you'll be expected to know what all this is for...." .....and she was right.






Ok, story time. Gather round kids......




Years ago, 20 or so years ago, I went to dinner with a TCU girl. Bleached to the bone. Drove a Beemer. Daddy totally paid her way through purple Baylor. Smoking hot, dumber than a bag of hammers.

We go to dinner one night in Austin. Can't remember if it was Jeffries or the Emerald or what-- anyway, she gets the menu. She's looking through it and asks me if I know what "whores dee A vores" is.
Say it out loud just like a spelled it--- whores dee A vores.............


I look at this flawless looking girl and think to myself "what in the actual fvck is she talking abo.....OH MY GOD SHE MEANS OR DERVES..... (hors d'oeuvre)


She was phonetically saying it.

Oh wait..... it gets better....


I calmly explain to her how it's pronounced and she says "I never understood why they just didn't call them appetizers...."

I'm thinking to myself "if you put a sock in her mouth and THEN a pillow case over her head, she won't be able to talk during sex...."


Waiter comes over. She doesn't want any whores dee A vores--- instead, she orders a small Ceasar salad WITH Ranch dressing.......

Fastest I ever ate a meal in my life.
 
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clob94 said:
Come up with what?

This is how I roll. I grew up with a mother that basically sent me to finishing school. She would literally quiz me about dining china and silver utensils. She told me "one day, you'll be at a VERY nice meal somewhere and you'll be expected to know what all this is for...." .....and she was right.






Ok, story time. Gather round kids......




Years ago, 20 or so years ago, I went to dinner with a TCU girl. Bleached to the bone. Drove a Beemer. Daddy totally paid her way through purple Baylor. Smoking hot, dumber than a bag of hammers.

We go to dinner one night in Austin. Can't remember if it was Jeffries or the Emerald or what-- anyway, she gets the menu. She's looking through it and asks me if I know what "whores dee A vores" is.
Say it out loud just like a spelled it--- whores dee A vores.............


I look at this flawless looking girl and think to myself "what in the actual fvck is she talking abo.....OH MY GOD SHE MEANS OR DERVES..... (hors d'oeuvre)


She was phonetically saying it.

Oh wait..... it gets better....


I calmly explain to her how it's pronounced and she says "I never understood why they just didn't call them appetizers...."

I'm thinking to myself "if you put a sock in her mouth and THEN a pillow case over her head, she won't be able to talk during sex...."


Waiter comes over. She doesn't want any whores dee A vores--- instead, she orders a small Ceasar salad WITH Ranch dressing.......

Fastest I ever ate a meal in my life.
Click to expand...
Bang her back to natural? You know it's your duty as an american heterosexual male. Bang the lights out.
 
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clob94 said:
Come up with what?

This is how I roll. I grew up with a mother that basically sent me to finishing school. She would literally quiz me about dining china and silver utensils. She told me "one day, you'll be at a VERY nice meal somewhere and you'll be expected to know what all this is for...." .....and she was right.






Ok, story time. Gather round kids......




Years ago, 20 or so years ago, I went to dinner with a TCU girl. Bleached to the bone. Drove a Beemer. Daddy totally paid her way through purple Baylor. Smoking hot, dumber than a bag of hammers.

We go to dinner one night in Austin. Can't remember if it was Jeffries or the Emerald or what-- anyway, she gets the menu. She's looking through it and asks me if I know what "whores dee A vores" is.
Say it out loud just like a spelled it--- whores dee A vores.............


I look at this flawless looking girl and think to myself "what in the actual fvck is she talking abo.....OH MY GOD SHE MEANS OR DERVES..... (hors d'oeuvre)


She was phonetically saying it.

Oh wait..... it gets better....


I calmly explain to her how it's pronounced and she says "I never understood why they just didn't call them appetizers...."

I'm thinking to myself "if you put a sock in her mouth and THEN a pillow case over her head, she won't be able to talk during sex...."


Waiter comes over. She doesn't want any whores dee A vores--- instead, she orders a small Ceasar salad WITH Ranch dressing.......

Fastest I ever ate a meal in my life.
Click to expand...
It only gets better. 😂
 
Steiner … great date place on a weekend night when the house band plays on the patio. Dancing and grinding on the patio sets up the date night mood.

Tits, no tits, big ones, small ones … who cares.

It’s the parts beneath the kimono that count. You don’t want anything that dangles between the legs.
 
JDCPAgolferHorn said:
Steiner … great date place on a weekend night when the house band plays on the patio. Dancing and grinding on the patio sets up the date night mood.

Tits, no tits, big ones, small ones … who cares.

It’s the parts beneath the kimono that count. You don’t want anything that dangles between the legs.
Click to expand...
Don't ever tell me any of your dating stories
...........
 
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www.instagram.com

Janielle Mendoza | Texas Realtor® on Instagram: "📍Austin, TX Not one thing that we ordered was mediocre, it was all so so good!! Perfect for a date night or a special occasion! Also, they have the largest wine list in Austin… 🥩🍷 ••• #steinerranch #s

18 likes, 0 comments - janielle.sellstx on June 22, 2022: "📍Austin, TX Not one thing that we ordered was mediocre, it was all so so good!! Perfect for a date night or a special occasion! Also, they have the largest wine list in Austin… 🥩🍷 ••• #steinerranch #steinerranchsteakhouse...
www.instagram.com www.instagram.com

Hestia (@hestia_austin) • Instagram photos and videos

instagram.com instagram.com
 
clob94 said:
Don't ever tell me any of your dating stories
...........
Click to expand...
Haha . . .
Think back to the late 1980s. 42nd St in NYC was nothing but peep show after peep show. I'm in NYC on business and a colleague ropes me into a peep show/strip joint. One of those places that has individual private booths. Once you put coins in the machine, a curtain opens up to display a stage. I enter the booth and my colleague enters the adjacent booth. I put the coins in the machine and the curtain opens up. A dancer (Puerto Rican, Dominican type) is dancing on stage. Decent looking with a decent rack. "She" is wearing a thong bikini, which she takes off to display a 12 inch sausage hanging between "her" legs. Of course, "she" starts manhandling herself.

I bolt and start banging on the adjacent booth to get my buddy out of there. Security grabs me thinking I want to enter the booth to join my colleague.

Bottom line: since then, tits are an afterthought for me. It all starts with verifying the equipment underneath the kimono.
 
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JDCPAgolferHorn said:
Haha . . .
Think back to the late 1980s. 42nd St in NYC was nothing but peep show after peep show. I'm in NYC on business and a colleague ropes me into a peep show/strip joint. One of those places that has individual private booths. Once you put coins in the machine, a curtain opens up to display a stage. I enter the booth and my colleague enters the adjacent booth. I put the coins in the machine and the curtain opens up. A dancer (Puerto Rican, Dominican type) is dancing on stage. Decent looking with a decent rack. "She" is wearing a thong bikini, which she takes off to display a 12 inch sausage hanging between "her" legs. Of course, "she" starts manhandling herself.

I bolt and start banging on the adjacent booth to get my buddy out of there. Security grabs me thinking I want to enter the booth to join my colleague.

Bottom line: since then, tits are an afterthought for me. It all starts with verifying the equipment underneath the kimono.
Click to expand...
That's some Crying Game sh!t right there.
 
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clob94 said:
2 things.

1. Does she have big tits?. I know that sounds like a stupid question, but it's relevant. If she has big tits, you take her to Steiner Ranch Steak house.

"Why Clob-- What do tits have anything to do with this.........?"

Well, Steiner Ranch overlooks Lake Travis. You can sit out on the deck and watch the sun set. They have cooling fans, but she won't know that and she will dress comfy for warm weather--- like a low cut sundress-- and you'll get a better view of her tits.

2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker. Top shelf drinks that are excellent.

Don't forget to pull out her chair and make a joke about chivalry in this day and age.

When paying the bill, leave the book open and the bill viewable as you look for your wallet-- take your time-- but don't be obvious.
If you pay with plastic-- make sure it's the platinum card. If cash, hundos only.

If you order red wine, brush up on the menu first. Know how to pronounce the sh!t you're going to order. Do your homework.
Ask for the Sommelier's recommendation. Know how to fvcking pronounce "sommelier"......"som" like "somber" "mel" "yeah". Not ya.... "yeah". Like "hey" or "gay".
Som Mel yeah.... now say it fast.
Good.


When handed the cork, casually sniff it, don't ram it up under your nose.
When he pours you a sample, swirl the wine around the glass for 5 trips. 5 swirls. That's it. Pick the glass up BY THE STEM.... not the goblet---Don't be a Neanderthal. Thumb, index and middle finger only.
Taste the wine.... swish it around like mouthwash for 1 second, swallow-- DO NOT GARGLE--then replace your glass and NOD in approval.
Don't say "yes" or "tastes good" or "fill me up, fvcker!".

Nod.

After the wine pour, offer her the cork. Let her smell it. Then ask her if she wants to keep it. She'll ask "why". You say "oh I dunno.. maybe if tonight goes well we start a collection."

Do this, and you'll end up taking the skin boat to tuna town.

Do it not, and it's back home slapping the ham to pornhub.
Click to expand...
Thanks bro
 
clob94 said:
2. Does she have small to medium tits?
Take her to Perry's. It's in doors but they keep the place like a meat locker.
Click to expand...
We personally steer clear of any restaurant that keeps the dining area cold as hell. My wife is miserable in those, as am i. My theory is that the restaurant only has one air conditioning unit and the thermostat is in the kitchen where the temperature is much warmer due to cooking. I gues that is preferable than having drips of sweat marinated into the food. My kids would always complain when my wife would make them take a jacket while going out to eat in 100 degree weather. That is, until you go inside and freeze your ass off.
 
Drtxhorn said:
You old dudes remember Donna D'Errico from Baywatch? Holy sheet! Check her out ....FIFTY. FOUR. YEARS. OLD

Damn!

www.dailymail.co.uk

Donna D'Errico, looks flawless dancing in skimpy lingerie

Donna D'Errico shared a sexy video dancing in red satin lingerie on Instagram Wednesday showing off her amazingly fit figure. The red peek-a-boob top tied in a bow with matching thong panties
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk
Click to expand...
I'd pound her like she was a trash can in the Astro's dugout.
 
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Hookedonit said:
Seriously where is the best steakhouse in Austin for food and atmosphere to take a date and impress her? Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...
Let's go slick...... stop sitting around trying to come up with a good story.... just roll up in here and drop it.
 
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