Dear diary type post but it’s just one of those days so might as well reach out to OB…
I haven’t seen my dad or spoken to him in person since July of 2020. He and I have had back and forths via text probably a dozen times. Some of them cordial and some of them not so cordial. Phone calls have always been an option for me but that’s just not the relationship he and I have ever had so it is what it is. For reasons I don’t particularly want to get into on here (at least not right now) I have no desire to rekindle any real relationship with him unless he makes major changes in his life. I’ve lost contact with my two brothers (one is 17 years younger than me and the other is 5 years younger. All 3 of us have different mothers) mostly due to the fact that they, in my opinion, haven’t come to terms with the person he is. At the very least they haven’t been exposed to a lot of the things I was exposed to growing up.
I have two kids now, am happily married to an amazing wife, and have a great job that allows me to live a life that I envisioned growing up. I try to provide my kids with a relationship that is loving and open, and try to give them as much as I can in terms of material things while still teaching them the importance of being humble and grateful for what we have. Having said all of this, I still have days like today that are extremely tough mentally for whatever reason. Usually there are events that cause these feelings to kick into gear - for instance, today is my middle brothers birthday and as much as I try to maintain a relationship with him, separate from my dad, he doesn’t have any interest in our relationship at this point. I hate that other relationships have suffered due to the issues my dad and I have, but I also am unable to find forgiveness in my heart for a man that offers nothing to me in terms of an apology, a father figure, or a grandparent to my children, as I would never want my kids to be exposed to who he is or what he made me feel as a child and young adult.
I have been to therapy before and will be resuming regular visits in the next month, but man days like today just get me and sort of send me spiraling sometimes, and I just wish I could cope with it all a little better. This place is a sort of safe space for a lot of us, and I’m hoping that someone on here can maybe give me some guidance in dealing with this situation, or maybe just be a voice of support at least. Sorry for the long post, and I know this isn’t necessarily a story that will resonate with everyone, I just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest I guess. The holidays are particularly hard for me, as I feel like I’m on an island of sorts. I am so grateful for my wife and kids and the family that comes along with that, but not having an ounce of a relationship with my father or brothers is hard. Thanks for reading and thank you in advance for any advice or kind words that you can offer. Hook ‘em🤘
I haven’t seen my dad or spoken to him in person since July of 2020. He and I have had back and forths via text probably a dozen times. Some of them cordial and some of them not so cordial. Phone calls have always been an option for me but that’s just not the relationship he and I have ever had so it is what it is. For reasons I don’t particularly want to get into on here (at least not right now) I have no desire to rekindle any real relationship with him unless he makes major changes in his life. I’ve lost contact with my two brothers (one is 17 years younger than me and the other is 5 years younger. All 3 of us have different mothers) mostly due to the fact that they, in my opinion, haven’t come to terms with the person he is. At the very least they haven’t been exposed to a lot of the things I was exposed to growing up.
I have two kids now, am happily married to an amazing wife, and have a great job that allows me to live a life that I envisioned growing up. I try to provide my kids with a relationship that is loving and open, and try to give them as much as I can in terms of material things while still teaching them the importance of being humble and grateful for what we have. Having said all of this, I still have days like today that are extremely tough mentally for whatever reason. Usually there are events that cause these feelings to kick into gear - for instance, today is my middle brothers birthday and as much as I try to maintain a relationship with him, separate from my dad, he doesn’t have any interest in our relationship at this point. I hate that other relationships have suffered due to the issues my dad and I have, but I also am unable to find forgiveness in my heart for a man that offers nothing to me in terms of an apology, a father figure, or a grandparent to my children, as I would never want my kids to be exposed to who he is or what he made me feel as a child and young adult.
I have been to therapy before and will be resuming regular visits in the next month, but man days like today just get me and sort of send me spiraling sometimes, and I just wish I could cope with it all a little better. This place is a sort of safe space for a lot of us, and I’m hoping that someone on here can maybe give me some guidance in dealing with this situation, or maybe just be a voice of support at least. Sorry for the long post, and I know this isn’t necessarily a story that will resonate with everyone, I just needed to get some of this stuff off my chest I guess. The holidays are particularly hard for me, as I feel like I’m on an island of sorts. I am so grateful for my wife and kids and the family that comes along with that, but not having an ounce of a relationship with my father or brothers is hard. Thanks for reading and thank you in advance for any advice or kind words that you can offer. Hook ‘em🤘
