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OT: Cool--- weird--- or creepy-- you decide

MiccoMacey said:
Don’t. Shoplift. The Pooty.
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Maaaaaaan...... I know what you mean. I do NOT need that headache/responsibility/guilt in my life. I realize what the scoreboard says and which way the wind is blowing. Here's the problem though-- for the last ten years it's the attractive ones that want to get a baby squeezed up in them ASAP and that's where they lost me---- I like to know a woman before I procreate with her.

This one just seems to want to hang and be cool and knows the score.
 
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Okie70 said:
Usually just come here to get dope on OU's biggest rival for the last 90 years. And stumble into a PUA site. Good job Clob.
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Deal with it. We're a family in here. A totally ****ed up, dysfunctional as sh!t family, but a family none the less.
 
if your lonely then buy a fu6king dog, other wise just have fun, my motherinlaw and her boyfriend went together for 45 yrs, never got married, went to Europe every year for wurstfest and NB fir floren and other places, but had their own homes, both had money so it wasn't a issue and they both died like that, both of them was the love of each others life, but, just could not live together,he was a chk farmer with 5000 acres of farming land and she was a manager at HEB, he made a shitload of money farming and on the CCFD was his party money, so you can be like a cat and play with it before ya kill it off or you catch the ball and bring it back to her all the time, its just they could not live together because of separate ways not cause they didn't love each other

and there's a chance she wants to eat your liver and bathe in your blood!

But, the last part of the equation is , its strange the daughter just opened the door as you was passing, and high 5 ing her mom after you left, there might have been a Cam in the room and someone watching for :educational purposes only type shit and you know she heard ya screwing like 2 cats in a paper sack...strange shit i tell ya

Forget this one and move on! Remember you can love a whore, if your hearts big enough!

Hook'em
 
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So is the kid going to call you dad, daddy, or uncle clob?

If the kid is high fiving mom, I'm pretty sure mom has very frequent fumigation. A real pros pro.
 
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That's to risky for me, especially with Daughter being that age, so many things can happen if she gets mad at you or her mother if she gets jealous, oh well, what I want ya to know is that I will personally send ya Cig and candy money when ya get to TDC, No Worries!


 
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clob94 said:
So I finally broke down over the weekend and succumbed to going out with this woman who is a real estate agent in New Braunfels---- that had been "accidentally" showing up at places that I frequent, over the last few weeks. Bell, if you Google the real estate agents in town she's easily the most attractive one of the lot and she actually shows property right in your immediate area. She bad- she built- she saucy- and she don't play.
S|e approached me a while back, was very direct but proper, and tactfully made her intentions known. Huge balls and I respect that.
So I decide to tell her to meet me out last night to watch the natty game at my favorite watering hole in NB. She shows up looking tighter than a snare drum and is quickly checking off all the boxes. I'm flattered of course and the clock in my head starts ticking, with anticipation naturally, of when she's going to give me "the sign" that it's game on.

Then she lays out the whole "I'm a single mommy" shtick and my interest begins to wane because---- you know why. Dating single mommy is hard to do.

But she throws it out there that "no expectations, no commitment, you do you" etc and of course I bite.

Fast forward back to her house this morning----- and of course I just assume that 13 year old daughter is over at daddy's house............ As I saunter down the hallway at 7am to head back home.

And who pops out of the nearest door? None other than 13 year old, dressed up and ready for school. Btw--- if any of you dudes have a son in the 13-15 age range-- her daughter is going to be stunning when she grows up---- anyway, I'm taken aback to be confronted by this kid---- I have no idea what to say or do---- I'm frozen in my tracks.

So I go all Will Smith and I say "Suuuuuuuuuup" and offer a fist bump. She fist bumps back and has this odd look on her face--- so I quip with "don't you just hate it when you have to get your house fumigated?". Ya---- that was the best I could come up with.

So I bounce' jump in the suv and start driving away. When I reach 306 my phone pings. It's real estate lady who tells me that when her daughter walked into the kitchen to eat her breakfast, daughter gives mom a high five. A high fvcking five. She actually says to her mom " Maaaaaaawwwwmmm..... High five!"


Now don't get me wrong---- I DO NOT DO single mommy--- I just don't. But I'm trying to assess if this is cool, weird or creepy. Mommy has some mad skills- and is finer than frog hair---- but this was awk-ward.

Flame away brothers-
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I've seen a few movies, well more like videos of a a step dad with a young step daughter, well not that young, about 18 or so. And well it always turns out well for the steep dad.
 
Update:

Sex vs drama

So over the past few weeks I've been quietly exploring the boundaries of Real estate mommy's sexual proclivities and she definitely has the tshirt-- I won't go into detail but I cracked wise one night after being asked if I wanted to "watch a movie" and then I semi-seriously quipped about renting a porn and she jumped all over it--- ya, she's let her freak flag fly and I'm down with that.

But we go and do dinner tonight in Gruene. Now I must preamble this with a short statement--- I've been keeping this super down low-- lots of people in this town know the both of us (more than I thought) and I did that intentionally for several reasons-- but I've noticed that when we do hang out, she's started the evening off with drinks prior to our activities. No big deal right?

Wrong--- she's got no off switch. Once she starts pounding booze she can't stop. She doesn't get loud or obnoxious or violent- she just starts telling the same stupid fvcking stories over and over and over and over and over again....... Annoying, right?
I've got this thing about girls that I want to shag and booze--- have some wine, have a beer, have a cocktail, but don't get drunk and damn sure don't get sloppy.

She's a sloppy.

Legit functioning alcoholic.

Clob ain't got time for that. It's not attractive, it's not sexy, it's not cool. And to top it off, she's a freaking light weight. We split two bottle of red wine tonight (she ordered them) and she was sauced.

So I offer to drive her home and she can come get her vehicle tomorrow. She insists she is fine. I insist she isn't and that it's no problem driving her home. She gets snippy and pulls the "I'm a grown ass independent woman" card and that's when I tip my hat and wish her good luck---

Off I go to my vehicle to make the very short trip to my house (two blocks) and just as I'm about to turn onto my street the phone rings---

It's her and she's telling me that she may have gotten her SUV stuck---- so I flip a U and head back up to the Gruene door to see what the problem is.


As I pull up I can see her tail lights at the end of the parking lot facing Gruene road. Now the parking lot is concrete and because of the slope of the land it's situated on, the very flat and level parking lot is not entirely flush with the ground at all points. In fact, there are parts of the parking lot that at their edge, are two or three foot higher than the ground they are built on---- think of a concrete shelf--- the grass below.

Well, senorita sloppy was so drunk she thought she was driving onto Gruene road and instead, hopped the little parking block and then driven her front tires off the edge of the concrete parking lot and high centered her Tahoe. Ya---- in gruene--- in a parking lot--- she literally drove over a parking stop and off a small cliff and high centered a freaking 60,000 dollar luxury suv---- because she was drunk and stupid.

Oh just wait------ it gets better---

So I pull up and walk to the vehicle and she isn't in it---- oh no, she's not standing over to the side waiting on me--- she's squatting in the corner between to buildings with her skirt pulled up taking a whiz on the ground................. Right there.......... On the ground.........

And then she looks up at me, drunk, and says "No! No! Don't look at me!". As if I haven't already seen the entire blueprint of her nether regions---- NOW she gets shy.

Knowing if the cops show up she is certainly going to jail, I throw her in my SUV (she's still telling me she can drive and we should get her truck unstuck) and I drive her to her house, literally under duress.

I shuffle a sailor mouthed mommy into her house and tell her to call a tow truck tomorrow morning and have them tow it to her house. She drunkenly gets sarcastic as I leave and shut the door.

Fast forward five minutes and the world has gone back to rainbows, unicorn farts and anal sex. I get a text message from her saying that I'm sooooooo sweet for keeping her safe and out of trouble that she wants me to come back to her house and push her guts in for a while. She even highlighted the text with "and I'm XTRA naughty".

Clob is the fvck out.
 
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Future outlook...Clob will be spotted at the Tanger Outlet shops, carrying numerous shopping bags, strolling with a pretty mom and her daughter.
 
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clob94 said:
Update:

Sex vs drama

So over the past few weeks I've been quietly exploring the boundaries of Real estate mommy's sexual proclivities and she definitely has the tshirt-- I won't go into detail but I cracked wise one night after being asked if I wanted to "watch a movie" and then I semi-seriously quipped about renting a porn and she jumped all over it--- ya, she's let her freak flag fly and I'm down with that.

But we go and do dinner tonight in Gruene. Now I must preamble this with a short statement--- I've been keeping this super down low-- lots of people in this town know the both of us (more than I thought) and I did that intentionally for several reasons-- but I've noticed that when we do hang out, she's started the evening off with drinks prior to our activities. No big deal right?

Wrong--- she's got no off switch. Once she starts pounding booze she can't stop. She doesn't get loud or obnoxious or violent- she just starts telling the same stupid fvcking stories over and over and over and over and over again....... Annoying, right?
I've got this thing about girls that I want to shag and booze--- have some wine, have a beer, have a cocktail, but don't get drunk and damn sure don't get sloppy.

She's a sloppy.

Legit functioning alcoholic.

Clob ain't got time for that. It's not attractive, it's not sexy, it's not cool. And to top it off, she's a freaking light weight. We split two bottle of red wine tonight (she ordered them) and she was sauced.

So I offer to drive her home and she can come get her vehicle tomorrow. She insists she is fine. I insist she isn't and that it's no problem driving her home. She gets snippy and pulls the "I'm a grown ass independent woman" card and that's when I tip my hat and wish her good luck---

Off I go to my vehicle to make the very short trip to my house (two blocks) and just as I'm about to turn onto my street the phone rings---

It's her and she's telling me that she may have gotten her SUV stuck---- so I flip a U and head back up to the Gruene door to see what the problem is.


As I pull up I can see her tail lights at the end of the parking lot facing Gruene road. Now the parking lot is concrete and because of the slope of the land it's situated on, the very flat and level parking lot is not entirely flush with the ground at all points. In fact, there are parts of the parking lot that at their edge, are two or three foot higher than the ground they are built on---- think of a concrete shelf--- the grass below.

Well, senorita sloppy was so drunk she thought she was driving onto Gruene road and instead, hopped the little parking block and then driven her front tires off the edge of the concrete parking lot and high centered her Tahoe. Ya---- in gruene--- in a parking lot--- she literally drove over a parking stop and off a small cliff and high centered a freaking 60,000 dollar luxury suv---- because she was drunk and stupid.

Oh just wait------ it gets better---

So I pull up and walk to the vehicle and she isn't in it---- oh no, she's not standing over to the side waiting on me--- she's squatting in the corner between to buildings with her skirt pulled up taking a whiz on the ground................. Right there.......... On the ground.........

And then she looks up at me, drunk, and says "No! No! Don't look at me!". As if I haven't already seen the entire blueprint of her nether regions---- NOW she gets shy.

Knowing if the cops show up she is certainly going to jail, I throw her in my SUV (she's still telling me she can drive and we should get her truck unstuck) and I drive her to her house, literally under duress.

I shuffle a sailor mouthed mommy into her house and tell her to call a tow truck tomorrow morning and have them tow it to her house. She drunkenly gets sarcastic as I leave and shut the door.

Fast forward five minutes and the world has gone back to rainbows, unicorn farts and anal sex. I get a text message from her saying that I'm sooooooo sweet for keeping her safe and out of trouble that she wants me to come back to her house and push her guts in for a while. She even highlighted the text with "and I'm XTRA naughty".

Clob is the fvck out.
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Always enjoy the Saga's of Clob. I agree, it's time to separate yourself. Be careful tho, she sounds like the type of lady that shows up to your house at 2am after a break up and you have to call the cops.
 
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She was too high on the crazy/hot matrix....happens or at least I hear that stuff happens!
 
The high fiving makes sense now. She hasn't grown up yet and is closer to her daughters maturity than someone that is her age. I can't fault anyone from getting drunk every now and then because that would make me a hypocrite, but eventually you learn to control yourself. She doesn't sound like she has.
 
This reminds me of a movie I saw one time: Guy goes on date with a girl, while on date, girl meets another guy, Girl ends up leaving with the new guy but his car breaks down in the parking lot so the girl calls her original date and explains that she was just funnin’ around with him earlier and now needs a ride home. Definitely not insinuating thatv s what happened here but the parralles are uncanny.
 
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As that great Texan Dan Jenkins once noted so astutely....."the problem with a beautiful woman is that you've got to remember, somewhere, someone is tired of her"....
 
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Man there isn't anything wrong with a bipolar woman.......hell as long as she has less than 7 different personalities.....shes probably a keeper lol
 
Given the kind of information you are posting about this lady and her family, I hope that she sees that you may not be a very mature and trustworthy person.
 
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I called it. 8+ on the hot scale and 8+ on the crazy scale. Not a keeper, even for high tolerance guys like myself.

All I needed to know was how she interacted with her teenage daughter. She is a classic Woo Girl, and thus can be bedded but never wedded.
 
clob94 said:
So I pull up and walk to the vehicle and she isn't in it---- oh no, she's not standing over to the side waiting on me--- she's squatting in the corner between to buildings with her skirt pulled up taking a whiz on the ground................. Right there.......... On the ground.........

And then she looks up at me, drunk, and says "No! No! Don't look at me!". As if I haven't already seen the entire blueprint of her nether regions---- NOW she gets shy.

Knowing if the cops show up she is certainly going to jail, I throw her in my SUV (she's still telling me she can drive and we should get her truck unstuck) and I drive her to her house, literally under duress.
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That's straight outa Hustler or a F paperback clob! just the drama gives it away, " The No! No! don't look at me part" You are really good at Sex Fiction bro, you oughta consider writing it..LOL!


Mr. XTRA naughty!...LOL
 
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Iitbhorn3 said:
Given the kind of information you are posting about this lady and her family, I hope that she sees that you may not be a very mature and trustworthy person.
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There are thousands of realtors in the NB/SA area. Nobody knows who I'm talking about.
 
Belldozer1 said:
But you said it was the best looking one so that narrows it down. Trust me, we know
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I figured it out bell almost! I went and googled all the Realtors in NB and looked at their Bios at the ones who had kids, then I deducted the ones who had daughters and divorced and now I am down to 3, I have to decide now which one would be likely to pee by a car in the parking lot...then we have Miss Xtra Naughty!

Its a good thing that clob didn't go back as the cops woulda found him handcuffed with a rag in his mouth with his UT ring slid onto his penis and something green about 8 inches sticking out his ass a la Miss Xtra Naughty style, miss the bullet on that one clob!
 
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FlourBluffHorn said:
I figured it out bell almost! I went and googled all the Realtors in NB and looked at their Bios at the ones who had kids, then I deducted the ones who had daughters and divorced and now I am down to 3, I have to decide now which one would be likely to pee by a car in the parking lot...then we have Miss Xtra Naughty!

Its a good thing that clob didn't go back as the cops woulda found him handcuffed with a rag in his mouth with his UT ring slid onto his penis and something green about 8 inches sticking out his ass a la Miss Xtra Naughty style, miss the bullet on that one clob!
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That would make for a great LivePD episode. Have one of them get tackled by the cops like Mayfield did. I think I found one of her listings. Kinky. Check out the website name lol
https://www.scarymommy.com/zillow-listing-sex-den/
 
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FlourBluffHorn said:
Its a good thing that clob didn't go back as the cops woulda found him handcuffed with a rag in his mouth with his UT ring slid onto his penis and something green about 8 inches sticking out his ass a la Miss Xtra Naughty style, miss the bullet on that one clob!
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You say that like there is something wrong with it?
 
LonghornMM said:
It would be one thing if clob was posting her identity, but he is not, so she is anonymous.
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That is BS. The only reason to reveal profession, location and hints of how to find her was to make it easy for others to try to identify her....this is evidenced by subsequent posts by others confirming their successful attempts to narrow down this person.....

Your stance on defending this is utterly shameful. Better for you to at least just stay silent.
 
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