OT: Dating Has Changed...

[sodiumacetate]

You feel bad for guys that have the ability to meeting hundreds of women without ever leaving their couch? Modern dating definitely has its challenges, but the fact that you can land in a foreign destination and have a date lined up before you reach your hotel is nothing short of revolutionary.

To each their own, but I feel bad for guys that have been married most of their life and lack any real experience.

Depends on what you are looking for in life. I think the most rewarding experience is the type of intimacy that is only developed through a monogamous life long relationship, and I am truly saddened that so many have so willingly forfeited their ability to experience it in exchange for short-term pleasure.

 

[HappyHooker04]

Depends on what you are looking for in life. I think the most rewarding experience is the type of intimacy that is only developed through a monogamous life long relationship, and I am truly saddened that so many have so willingly forfeited their ability to experience it in exchange for short-term pleasure.

I’m guessing you are going to push Jesus on me next to save my soul. Your old school way of thinking is out and young people are out there actually living and experiencing the world. That’s great that you found something that makes you happy. However you shouldn’t be sad about someone not wanting your definition of happiness. You act like all married couples are happy when we know AT LEAST 50% are not.

 

[ganngus]

Do tiny Vietnamese ladies with loose morals ask for last names? I'm asking for a friend of course...

 

[Uncut Degenerate]

I alwasy tell my 21 year old son to just ask the girl out to dinner and drinks after an initial coffee. He thinks I’m crazy and it doesn’t go like this. I tell him it’s just the opposite and girls will be excited about a guy who mans up and treats them like a lady.

Dinner is a sneaky good way to see how someone else treats others and if they are respectful.

 

[McBrett]

Don’t feel bad for all single guys.

I met my wife ten years ago- online. I'm not that old- and yes while it can be 100x more efficient, what I 'culled' were great, beautiful women who were going on 3-4 dates/week, and where forming a connection even with tons of chemistry was extremely difficult.

There's simply too many choices, too many offerings which seems to stun both men and women from settling into relationships with people, whom had they met another way or say lived in a remote place- they'd consider awesome, happy relationships.

 

[sodiumacetate]

I’m guessing you are going to push Jesus on me next to save my soul. Your old school way of thinking is out and young people are out there actually living and experiencing the world. That’s great that you found something that makes you happy. However you shouldn’t be sad about someone not wanting your definition of happiness. You act like all married couples are happy when we know AT LEAST 50% are not.

You seem to be a little defensive, and you are presuming a lot about me.

But there also seems to be some hypocrisy in your posts...

You say: "However you shouldn’t be sad about someone not wanting your definition of happiness," right after saying: "I feel bad for guys that have been married most of their life and lack any real experience."


I am not pushing anything on anyone here... I was merely pointing out that different people have different ideas about what "real experience" means.

A quick perusal of twitter, snapchat, blogs, and other social mediums seems to indicate that the vast majority of the "young people" you reference are not happy and are constantly searching and seeking for meaning and purpose.

 

[yosemite69]

Totally agree. I’m 42, recently divorced (9 months) and I’ve crushed it on Bumble. My friends are astounded. It has exceeded every expectation imaginable.

I’m now dating an amazing girl that I would have never meet in a bar. My hit ratio with Bumble was crazy. The ability to dialogue in advance of the first date enables you to qualify the individual. Additionally the profile allows you to identify people with similar interests and experiences.

Bumble is the greatest invention since the television. You’re crazy if you think online dating isn’t the best thing ever. It’s for everyone and the first date feels like the 5th date (because you’ve texted back and forth) so they’ll hit the sack so much sooner. Thank God for Bumble and Tender...

This summarizes the dynamic perfectly.

 

[Mars512]

This summarizes the dynamic perfectly.

I've heard of Bumble, how does it work? Is it like Tinder?

 

[BigDCuernolargo]

@sendero95 told me he's very gentle.

You need to try farmersonly.com.......I heard its a charmer in college station and norman

 

[orangeuglad]

Don’t feel bad for all single guys. I’m 40, recently divorced and heeded some advice from @yosemite69 on the online dating game and it’s a blast. I’ve gone out with a SVPs, teachers, yoga instructors and the list goes on. It’s actually really fun and the online dynamic seems to weed out and let’s me cull chicks before spending a dollar on them. Unbelievably more efficient and fool proof than cheesy lines on a chick at the bar or church.

This. Remarried a couple of years ago, but when divorced, the online dating thing was great for the reasons above.

 

[Travis Galey]

You need to try farmersonly.com.......I heard its a charmer in college station and norman

 

[Baconbeard]

unlimited, meaningless sex with no one you'd ever seriously consider dating.

Sounds pretty awesome to me.

 

[65HornInTacoma]

There are no names in Project Mayhem.

 

[ToadHallGangster]

I've heard of Bumble, how does it work? Is it like Tinder?

Similar - but women make the first move, not the other way around. Guys can't on that app.

 

[Mars512]

Similar - but women make the first move, not the other way around. Guys can't on that app.

Hmmm....Not sure if I like that. Seems like it would be mostly women you aren't attracted to making the move.

 

[Hbacker]

real experience.

What exactly do you mean by this?

 

[ToadHallGangster]

Hmmm....Not sure if I like that. Seems like it would be mostly women you aren't attracted to making the move.

I think the matches work the same way, but only the female can initiate contact upon a match. Haven't been on in a couple of years.

 

[Iceman]

I was 33 when I got married. I had plenty of real life experience. And like another poster mentioned, on-line dating was kind of looked down upon a decade ago...now it's not only acceptable, it's probably passe as apps have replaced online dating.

I can tell you from my client base, online dating has zero stigma attached to it anymore. Ten years ago, when I'd ask a client how he met his GF, if it was online, he'd tell me apologetically. Today, it's the norm. It probably is the 2nd most common way people meet today (based on my clients), next to "through friends/acquaintances".

 

[longhornfaithful]

So it sounds like a trade off. You don't get last names or real identifying details, but you get anal on the first date. So, there's that.

 

[Mars512]

I think the matches work the same way, but only the female can initiate contact upon a match. Haven't been on in a couple of years.

You're probably right. I'm moving back to Austin in May for school. Dating wont be as shitty as it is here in VA.

 

[Travis Galey]

I can tell you from my client base, online dating has zero stigma attached to it anymore. Ten years ago, when I'd ask a client how he met his GF, if it was online, he'd tell me apologetically. Today, it's the norm. It probably is the 2nd most common way people meet today (based on my clients), next to "through friends/acquaintances".

I totally believe it. I met my wife the old-fashioned way...at work.

 

[DC Longhorn]

You should surprise her, she’ll love it

In this case, asking for forgiveness being easier than asking for permission is not applicable. She may then allow me to do it permanently!

 

[DC Longhorn]

I totally believe it. I met my wife the old-fashioned way...at work.

My wife and I met at a bar playing flip cup!

 

[87BEE]

I’m guessing you are going to push Jesus on me next to save my soul. Your old school way of thinking is out and young people are out there actually living and experiencing the world. That’s great that you found something that makes you happy. However you shouldn’t be sad about someone not wanting your definition of happiness. You act like all married couples are happy when we know AT LEAST 50% are not.

Serious Question: Do you plan on having children? I think most kids (even adult children) are happier if their parents are committed to each other. If you don't have or want kids, I think a promiscuous lifestyle sounds super fun...Even as a geezer.

 

[MauiHorn]

Dinner is a sneaky good way to see how someone else treats others and if they are respectful.

Yup. My daughter gets it. My son thinks he knows everything and I’m too old to know current ways of the dating world. He’ll learn

 

[MauiHorn]

This summarizes the dynamic perfectly.

Most women prefer Bumble as well. Let’s them have all the power at first. Two friends who have found their new spouses off it.

 

[podo87]

I feel bad for single guys today. I've been married ten years also- what a different world.

Between any lack of real, live social meetings, and then whenever you do try to initiate anything you run the risk of sexually harassing them. So, I'm told at work by younger guys you stick to tinder for unlimited, meaningless sex with no one you'd ever seriously consider dating.

Good times.. ugh. SMH

I'm still searching for the issue with your second paragraph.

 

[Travis Galey]

My wife and I met at a bar playing flip cup!

Bar meetups work too.

Really, when you get down to it, most people meet through work, church, school, friends/family or whatever social activities they do (such as a bar, club or organization). But online definitely makes it easy for people to connect.

 

[HappyHooker04]

What exactly do you mean by this?

Getting out in the world and experiencing things outside your comfort zone. The majority of the population in the US doesn’t even own a passport, and most people never leave the area they grew up in. How does Jack know he has married his soulmate? when Jill grew up next door and they got married before they even knew who they were?

Then again, ignorance can be bliss. I just don’t think we are better off as a species by sticking to the old fashioned way of living

 

[Hbacker]

Getting out in the world and experiencing things outside your comfort zone. The majority of the population in the US doesn’t even own a passport, and most people never leave the area they grew up in. How does Jack know he has married his soulmate? when Jill grew up next door and they got married before they even knew who they were?

Then again, ignorance can be bliss. I just don’t think we are better off as a species by sticking to the old fashioned way of living

Huh. Interesting theories. You sound very young. You make a lot of irrational and incorrect assumptions about older people and people who have been married a long time.

The unfounded arrogance of youth.

 

[HappyHooker04]

Serious Question: Do you plan on having children? I think most kids (even adult children) are happier if their parents are committed to each other. If you don't have or want kids, I think a promiscuous lifestyle sounds super fun...Even as a geezer.

Not at this point. But now that I’m a bit older, and have achieved most of my dreams, I am looking for something more real. But I am happy to do that at this point in my life, now that I’ve lived and done the things that I set out to achieve. I think a lot of people give up/sacrifice personal ambitions for the sake of societal pressures (which are now changing). I also would 100% have divorced any of the girls that I had a chance to marry because what I wanted in my mid 20s is completely different from what I want now that I’ve figured out fully who I am.

Obviously I can’t use that brush for everyone. If you met your soulmate early, y’all grew in the same direction and you were left with no regrets; then you hit the jackpot and good for you. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for most people.

 

[HappyHooker04]

Huh. Interesting theories. You sound very young. You make a lot of irrational and incorrect assumptions about older people and people who have been married a long time.

The unfounded arrogance of youth.

I’m not that young. I’ve also stated “to each their own” and that I can’t paint everyone with a broad brush. We are talking in generalities here and when you look at the statistics I’m more correct than you want to admit. It’s also interesting to compare those stats to other countries.

Point being that what people used to do because it’s the norm and expected of you, is no longer being followed and for a good reason. We will see in time if it ends up with people being in better/happier relationships on the whole, but I think it will. Even just getting married at 25 opposed to 20/21 greatly reduces the chance of divorce

 

[darickc]

One of my good friends finally found a girl and has been dating her about 2 years now. He sent me a pic yesterday of the engagement ring. He's planning on proposing in March. She's got two kids already but she's a sweet girl. Super happy for him. They met on Instagram (of all places)

 

[Ihateaggie]

Totally agree. I’m 42, recently divorced (9 months) and I’ve crushed it on Bumble. My friends are astounded. It has exceeded every expectation imaginable.

I’m now dating an amazing girl that I would have never meet in a bar. My hit ratio with Bumble was crazy. The ability to dialogue in advance of the first date enables you to qualify the individual. Additionally the profile allows you to identify people with similar interests and experiences.

Bumble is the greatest invention since the television. You’re crazy if you think online dating isn’t the best thing ever. It’s for everyone and the first date feels like the 5th date (because you’ve texted back and forth) so they’ll hit the sack so much sooner. Thank God for Bumble and Tender...

Let me remind you YOUNGSTERS and advise you. Women reach their sexual peak in their 40's. So these soccer moms have gone through a bad marriage with crappy sex are easy pickings. I'm 60 and would love to be in my 30's and 40's and get all the MILF's I could stand

 

[87BEE]

Not at this point. But now that I’m a bit older, and have achieved most of my dreams, I am looking for something more real. But I am happy to do that at this point in my life, now that I’ve lived and done the things that I set out to achieve. I think a lot of people give up/sacrifice personal ambitions for the sake of societal pressures (which are now changing). I also would 100% have divorced any of the girls that I had a chance to marry because what I wanted in my mid 20s is completely different from what I want now that I’ve figured out fully who I am.

Obviously I can’t use that brush for everyone. If you met your soulmate early, y’all grew in the same direction and you were left with no regrets; then you hit the jackpot and good for you. Unfortunately that isn’t the case for most people.

I completely understand. I was engaged twice in my 20's and would have cheated on/divorced both of them. I ended up marrying a good friend from my UT days in my 30's. I do believe the one societal norm that is not going to change is that it's way better for kids to have parents that are together. Parenting is hard enough with both parents on the same page.