A man in Soviet Russia wanted to be a train conductor his whole life. So, he studied, did well in school, had a happy family, and got a job as a train driver. However, one day, he fell asleep at the wheel and hit someone on the tracks. This being Soviet Russia, he was sentenced to death. When he was asked what he wanted for his last meal, he said, “I want one banana!” Bemused, the executioner brought him the banana. He ate the banana and went off to the electric chair. The executioner flipped the switch and smoke filled the room. When said smoke cleared, the man was still alive! Since the punishment had technically been carried out, the man was allowed to go free.
Once again, he got a job as a train driver. Again, he fell asleep at the wheel and hit two people on the tracks. He was sentenced to death, once again. When he was asked what he wanted for his last meal, he said, “I want two bananas!” Again, he executioner brought him the bananas. He ate the bananas and went off to the electric chair. The executioner flipped the switch, leaving the chair on for far longer than usual, and smoke filled the room. When said smoke cleared, the man was still alive! Again, since the punishment had technically been carried out, the man was allowed to go free.
Now, the man once again became a train driver. When he had the lethal accident this time, he was again hauled off to be killed. When the executioner asks for his last meal request, the man says, “I want three-” The executioner cuts him off. “No! No damn bananas! Go to the chair, NOW!” Distraught, the man goes to the electric chair. The executioner leaves the electric chair on its highest power for twice the usual time! When the smoke clears, however, the man is still alive. The executioner, infuriated, asks “how the hell are you still alive? You didn’t have the bananas!” The man, confused, replies, “well, it didn’t have anything to do with the bananas. I guess I’m just…
a bad conductor.”
Once again, he got a job as a train driver. Again, he fell asleep at the wheel and hit two people on the tracks. He was sentenced to death, once again. When he was asked what he wanted for his last meal, he said, “I want two bananas!” Again, he executioner brought him the bananas. He ate the bananas and went off to the electric chair. The executioner flipped the switch, leaving the chair on for far longer than usual, and smoke filled the room. When said smoke cleared, the man was still alive! Again, since the punishment had technically been carried out, the man was allowed to go free.
Now, the man once again became a train driver. When he had the lethal accident this time, he was again hauled off to be killed. When the executioner asks for his last meal request, the man says, “I want three-” The executioner cuts him off. “No! No damn bananas! Go to the chair, NOW!” Distraught, the man goes to the electric chair. The executioner leaves the electric chair on its highest power for twice the usual time! When the smoke clears, however, the man is still alive. The executioner, infuriated, asks “how the hell are you still alive? You didn’t have the bananas!” The man, confused, replies, “well, it didn’t have anything to do with the bananas. I guess I’m just…
a bad conductor.”
