For some reason, only known to the female species of mankind, my wife and teenage daughters think it's somehow obligatory for our entire family to attend musical movies that they wish to see together. Despite the fact that my son and I in no way have this same type of inssne expectations when we go to watch a sci-fi, war or western movie.
After recently being forced to endure the tortures of Lalaland and Beauty and The Beast within the last month, I've now implemented a new rule, taking effect immediately.
I know many of you will likely consider this to be primitive and inhumane form of torture, and some of you may even choose to report me to Child Protective Services. But I am convinced entirely that such cruel and desperate measures are necessary, in order to break this tradition of out of control female expectations and Hollywood movie making trends. Here and now. I fight this fight for the sake of my future son in laws, and future grandsons.
Enough background, so what's the rule?
For the entire week, following the involuntary viewing of a musical, 100% of all communications in the household MUST be conducted in the form of song. Or more precisely, in the manner of LOUD Gregorian chanting, as that's about the limit of what my HORRIBLE singing voice and spontaneous song writing capabilites really pull off.
All week long, my boisterous screeches of out of tune cat-in-a-death-struggle voice have been filling the vaulted ceilings of our house. With a wall of sound of unrhymed, unmelodic and out of tune endless cacophony. Think Figaro meets the sounds of a pig slaughterhouse.
No responses are made to any questions, complaints, or requests, which are not voiced back towards me in song. I just just ignore them like they didn't happen.
I think it's working. As I have now received several "threats" that they'll never take me to a musical again.
And I have caterwalled back my requests for them to sing back, to confirm that those are promises.
Just wanted to share this new bad habit and selfish man-bending expectations extermination technique which I have discovered. Maybe it can help you to restore some balance in your own cave.
After recently being forced to endure the tortures of Lalaland and Beauty and The Beast within the last month, I've now implemented a new rule, taking effect immediately.
I know many of you will likely consider this to be primitive and inhumane form of torture, and some of you may even choose to report me to Child Protective Services. But I am convinced entirely that such cruel and desperate measures are necessary, in order to break this tradition of out of control female expectations and Hollywood movie making trends. Here and now. I fight this fight for the sake of my future son in laws, and future grandsons.
Enough background, so what's the rule?
For the entire week, following the involuntary viewing of a musical, 100% of all communications in the household MUST be conducted in the form of song. Or more precisely, in the manner of LOUD Gregorian chanting, as that's about the limit of what my HORRIBLE singing voice and spontaneous song writing capabilites really pull off.
All week long, my boisterous screeches of out of tune cat-in-a-death-struggle voice have been filling the vaulted ceilings of our house. With a wall of sound of unrhymed, unmelodic and out of tune endless cacophony. Think Figaro meets the sounds of a pig slaughterhouse.
No responses are made to any questions, complaints, or requests, which are not voiced back towards me in song. I just just ignore them like they didn't happen.
I think it's working. As I have now received several "threats" that they'll never take me to a musical again.
And I have caterwalled back my requests for them to sing back, to confirm that those are promises.
Just wanted to share this new bad habit and selfish man-bending expectations extermination technique which I have discovered. Maybe it can help you to restore some balance in your own cave.
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