“The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life”. - Russell M. Nelson
One of our TG readers said recently and I’ll paraphrase… “Grief is the price we pay for love”. This is so very true. As a grief specialist I have seen this play out time after time. Not only the death of a loved one, but also the “death” of a relationship, divorce, a dream job, loss of health, finances, and over 40 losses one can experience in life.
A big takeaway I have from my practice is that each person who has shared their loss with me has never said they wished they hadn’t had the good/great feelings that came with whatever it was they lost. They treasured that time. This is not to say there can’t be exceptions, i.e. losing an abusive parent or spouse, but even then, there may have been at least one positive thing associated with those scenarios.
I once counted how many significant losses I’ve had in my life and so far and the total is sixteen. When I look at each of those losses more closely I found that each one had a period of good to great thoughts or feelings. Some of them included great possibilities, like two miscarriages…we had dreams of what each child would be like. Relationships that broke up…I had those initial feelings of love and dreams of a happy life of marriage with that girl.
I’ve come to realize that all of these experiences led me eventually to a closer relationship with my Creator and I have fond memories that came even with the bad outcomes.
Don’t be afraid to love and dream my friends, the opposite can lead to a standstill life.
Psalm 34:18, Lamentations 3:22-23, Romans 8:28
TSK
One of our TG readers said recently and I’ll paraphrase… “Grief is the price we pay for love”. This is so very true. As a grief specialist I have seen this play out time after time. Not only the death of a loved one, but also the “death” of a relationship, divorce, a dream job, loss of health, finances, and over 40 losses one can experience in life.
A big takeaway I have from my practice is that each person who has shared their loss with me has never said they wished they hadn’t had the good/great feelings that came with whatever it was they lost. They treasured that time. This is not to say there can’t be exceptions, i.e. losing an abusive parent or spouse, but even then, there may have been at least one positive thing associated with those scenarios.
I once counted how many significant losses I’ve had in my life and so far and the total is sixteen. When I look at each of those losses more closely I found that each one had a period of good to great thoughts or feelings. Some of them included great possibilities, like two miscarriages…we had dreams of what each child would be like. Relationships that broke up…I had those initial feelings of love and dreams of a happy life of marriage with that girl.
I’ve come to realize that all of these experiences led me eventually to a closer relationship with my Creator and I have fond memories that came even with the bad outcomes.
Don’t be afraid to love and dream my friends, the opposite can lead to a standstill life.
Psalm 34:18, Lamentations 3:22-23, Romans 8:28
TSK
