Children start out loving their parents, but as the children grow older and discover that their parents are human, they become judgmental. And sometimes, when they mature, they forgive their parents, especially when they discover that they too are human.
~~~~~~~~~~~ Oscar Wilde
The relationships between parents and children can get really complicated. Growing up, children inevitably will bristle at the seemingly constant threats of scrutiny and correction. As adults, we look back and think about all the "wrongs" and unfairness we experienced at the hands of our parents, and they become our scapegoats (or escapegoats, in OB parlance) for many of our shortcomings. We vow that if we ever become parents, we'll do better, only later to find that while we may have done better in some areas, we managed to invent some exciting new ways to flunk Parenting 101. If we're smart and honest, we learn to admit that this is exactly how our own parents felt when they had their turn.
For a variety of reasons, parents and children tend to hold each other to a standard that is much higher than the standards they set for even their closest friends. We accept the "flaws" in our friends---"well, you know how s/he gets sometimes"---because we love them as they are. Maybe that's a tougher task for parents and children, but those relationships are of at least equal, if not greater, value. We need to make our peace with each other while we still can.
Blessings to all the parents and children who wander through here today.
NT
Luke 11:4; Matthew 6:12; Ex 20:12
In honor of Allen Jones and his mom, who taught each other love and forgiveness.
~~~~~~~~~~~ Oscar Wilde
The relationships between parents and children can get really complicated. Growing up, children inevitably will bristle at the seemingly constant threats of scrutiny and correction. As adults, we look back and think about all the "wrongs" and unfairness we experienced at the hands of our parents, and they become our scapegoats (or escapegoats, in OB parlance) for many of our shortcomings. We vow that if we ever become parents, we'll do better, only later to find that while we may have done better in some areas, we managed to invent some exciting new ways to flunk Parenting 101. If we're smart and honest, we learn to admit that this is exactly how our own parents felt when they had their turn.
For a variety of reasons, parents and children tend to hold each other to a standard that is much higher than the standards they set for even their closest friends. We accept the "flaws" in our friends---"well, you know how s/he gets sometimes"---because we love them as they are. Maybe that's a tougher task for parents and children, but those relationships are of at least equal, if not greater, value. We need to make our peace with each other while we still can.
Blessings to all the parents and children who wander through here today.
NT
Luke 11:4; Matthew 6:12; Ex 20:12
In honor of Allen Jones and his mom, who taught each other love and forgiveness.
