Honestly, I've watched family and friends raise their kids over the last 3 decades and I've been careful to pay attention to what I see...... learning from their good and bad moves.... with the thoughts that one days I'd raise my own kids using the "good" stuff I've learned from other parents.
I've come to the conclusion that most parents aren't parents to their kids.......... they want to be their child's best friend. They see their child as an extension of themselves. Example: "If my kid hits a home run, I made that possible."
However, if my kid goes to the principles office, it must be the teachers fault because my child would never act that way.
No............ your kid fvcked up, like all kids do at some point, and now your child is in need of discipline. But by some weird transference, by punishing their child, they feel as though they are punishing themselves and they fear losing that place as their child's "friend".
I'm torn because when I was a kid, my folks made it very clear: when you turn 18 and you're out on your own, then we can be friends. Until then, I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.
I thought my parents were two of the biggest a-holes on the planet until I finished school, got a job, started paying taxes and realized, hey, my folks are actually pretty cool.
I just don't know if it works that way anymore.
