A couple of aggie jokes for the holiday season

[outhereincali]

Ok my Magic Johnson joke didn't go over to well. This is a tough message board to please lol.

An aggie went hunting with his buddy and he accidentally shot him.

He called 911. The operator said first thing I want is for you to do is to make sure he is still alive.

silence

blam blam

he comes back to the phone

Ok now what?

Another aggie went hunting with his buddy and accidentally shot him. He carried his friend 6 miles to the hospital.

The aggie asked the Dr is he going to live?

The Dr said he would have if you hadn't field dressed him.

 

[txn_in_wa]

Okay, I'll bite.

Did you hear about the aggy that picked his nose so much his head caved in?

Did you hear about the aggy that drank so much Fresca he snowed in his pants?

Bada Boom.

 

[outhereincali]

Okay, I'll bite.

Did you hear about the aggy that picked his nose so much his head caved in?

Did you hear about the aggy that drank so much Fresca he snowed in his pants?

Bada Boom.

glad to see you in the Christmas spirit txn_in_wa,

 

[oldhorn2]

This guy walks into a bar...He walks up to this guy at the bar and asks if he wants to hear an aggy joke. The guy says sure....but before you tell it you need to know that the guy beside me is a 10th degree karate black belt and he went to aTm...he said that guy on the other side of you is an MMA fighter and he went to aTm. For that matter, as you can see I am 6'5" and weigh 280 and I went to aTm. Now....do you still want to tell that aggy joke?The guy says of course not......I would have to explain it 3 times.....

 

[txn_in_wa]

glad to see you in the Christmas spirit txn_in_wa,

my wife would say otherwise, but thanks.

 

[MiccoMacey]

***NSFW***, and honestly, probably a little gender insensitive. But here goes anyway:

Q: What's the difference between a female Aggie and a bowling ball?

A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.


Longhorn MM, if you need to delete or edit, I'll understand.

 

[oldhorn2]

Do you know the difference between a female aggy and a sack of garbage?......eventually someone will take the sack of garbage out...

 

[CoachEmUp64]

Good stuff, Thanks guys!

 

[MiccoMacey]

Q: What's the difference between a female Aggie and a Corvette?

A: Not everyone's been inside a Corvette.

 

[madcow12]

sometimes there are just no word for an aggie joke u just have to see it to believe it.

 

[MiccoMacey]

Does that sign say the Scholz Garden?

Didn't know I had been posting alongside someone who has his own garden named after him.

 

[clob94]

Ohhhhhh Scholz, the stories I have about your beir garten...... if those walls could talk. I could write a book..........

 

[First&10]

Ok my Magic Johnson joke didn't go over to well. This is a tough message board to please lol.

An aggie went hunting with his buddy and he accidentally shot him.

He called 911. The operator said first thing I want is for you to do is to make sure he is still alive.

silence

blam blam

he comes back to the phone

Ok now what?

Another aggie went hunting with his buddy and accidentally shot him. He carried his friend 6 miles to the hospital.

The aggie asked the Dr is he going to live?

The Dr said he would have if you hadn't field dressed him.

good one,but on the 1st joke you need it to edit it to read... "make sure he dead"

 

[Longyac]

Does that sign say the Scholz Garden?

Didn't know I had been posting alongside someone who has his own garden named after him.

Scholz Garten (also known as Scholz Beer Garden) is a beer garden and restaurant in downtown Austin, Texas. It has been in continuous operation since 1866 and is the oldest operating business in Texas.

It is a popular gathering spot for Austinites, especially before and after University of Texas sports events. The university and many of its athletic venues are located within walking distance.

Scholz Garten was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1979. It was recorded as a Texas Historic Landmark in 1967

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scholz_Garten

 

[hillcountryhorn63697005]

How do you break an aggy's finger?

Hit him in the nose.

 

[12375CAT]

Here is a Jayhawk joke(LOL!)

 

[TX1972]

Ohhhhhh Scholz, the stories I have about your beir garten...... if those walls could talk. I could write a book..........

Billy Brammer beat you to it by about 50 years. His "The Gay Place" is a great picture of Austin in the early 60's. It's out of print, but I'm sure Amazon has a copy or two. For the young, I must emphasize that "gay" did not always mean homosexual. In my youth, the usual word was queer.

 

[Longyac]

Sumlin.



You should read about Kyler and his dad making Sumlin and the AD dance right now. Ags had to top Texas' dysfunction and are on day two of meetings of the coaching staff and the athletic dept with the Murrays about the future of the shortstop playing QB.

Also, rumors of NCAA sanctions. Grades at a systematic level? Chavis recruiting while still a LSU employee?

 

[Longyac]

What do you call a team that has two 5* QBs transfer out in a week's time?

aggy

 

[Longyac]

With a little more thought.

What do you call a program that has had 4 blue chip QBs transfer out is the last four years?

Texas A&M

What do you call a program that has had 3 starting QBs transfer out in the last two years?

Texas A&M

What do you call a program that has had 2 five star QBs transfer out in the last 10 days?

Texas A&M

 

[madcow12]

Despite the departure of Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray, indications are strong that Kyle Field plans to remain in College Station.

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB)

 

[TX1972]

Have you heard about the aggy plan to send a rocket to the sun? They're going to launch it at night.

 

[oldhorn2]

Despite the departure of Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray, indications are strong that Kyle Field plans to remain in College Station.

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB)

post the link please....I heard otherwise

 

[Longyac]

Ricky Seals-Jones wanted to transfer out too but he kept dropping the pen.

 

[Scholz]

Ricky Seals-Jones wanted to transfer out too but he kept dropping the pen.

Haha. Strong.

 

[madcow12]

College Station, TX - Kyle Field, the home of the 12th Man and Aggie football since 1927, has announced that it will transfer from Texas A&M University effective immediately.

The announcement comes on the heels of news that both 5-star QBs Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray will also be leaving the program, leaving Aggies everywhere to wonder how things could possibly get worse. "Obviously the loss of two quarterbacks in one season is a blow, but it will be even more difficult to replace a facility that has taken years to build not to mention millions of dollars over the years," said head coach Kevin Sumlin in a press conference today. "You bring in stadiums because they have a certain set of facilities that fit your system, and you hope that they stick things out and see it through to the end."

 

[RealBear]

Aggy walks into NY bar. Sits close to beautiful lady at next table. Strikes up conversation.

Things go very well and the lady decides to ask him to her room. He accepts, stands up and retrieves his hat with a&m plastered on it.

She then exclaims in an excited voice, you aren't one of those Texas aggys are you?

He replies , yes I am, so what?

She says I can't let you go to my room!

Aggy asked, "why the hell not?

Pretty lady replies, "i've heard from several sources that aggys have sex with dogs, hogs, goats, cows, sheep and chickens!"

The aggy looks shocked, then replies. "Who tha hell said "Chickens"?

 

[TX1972]

Aggy comes home from work early, finds another man in bed with his wife. He goes to the nightstand, pulls out a big revolver, cocks it and points it at his head. His wife bursts into laughter. Aggy: "Shut up bitch. You're next."

 

[royalewithcheese]

Hubenak, Caneck! Caneck!
Hubenak, Caneck! Caneck!
Farmers Fight! Farmers Fight!
Fight-Fight
Farmers, Farmers, Fight!

 

[Longyac]

College Station, TX - Kyle Field, the home of the 12th Man and Aggie football since 1927, has announced that it will transfer from Texas A&M University effective immediately.

The announcement comes on the heels of news that both 5-star QBs Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray will also be leaving the program, leaving Aggies everywhere to wonder how things could possibly get worse. "Obviously the loss of two quarterbacks in one season is a blow, but it will be even more difficult to replace a facility that has taken years to build not to mention millions of dollars over the years," said head coach Kevin Sumlin in a press conference today. "You bring in stadiums because they have a certain set of facilities that fit your system, and you hope that they stick things out and see it through to the end."

Turnouts the stadium is staying after all but is getting renamed................




Kyleless Field

 

[Longyac]

From nobis60 on barkingcarnival-


On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Aggies gave to me

The Twelfth Man a-weeping

Eleven panicked Hamm Tweets

Ten million buyout

Ten MORE million buyout

Nine recruits bailing

Eight rumors flying

Seven months til’ Tate (?!?!)

Six #Swagtags sagging

Nooooooooo championship riiiiiiiiiings

Four conference losses

Three barbers buzzing

Two five-star transfers

Aaaand Sumlin stumblin’ down the street.

 

[clob94]

I can't like this enough.....

 

[12375CAT]

Another Jayhawk joke(LOL!)

A buddy told me Jayhawks eat manure on rye.
Being the nice lady that I am I told him the truth.
Jayhawks don't like rye!

 

[4MNChampsHorn]

Q: How do you get a one armed Aggie out of a tree?

A: Wave at him

 

[4MNChampsHorn]

Q: Did you hear about the Aggies that got lost?

A: They were driving to College Station and saw the sign "Texas A&M left." So, they turned around and went home.