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**OFFICIAL TEXAS vs Gator handbags gameday thread of Suicidal Tight Ends**

That was a cheap shot all the way around. Time for someone in Burnt Orange to protect our guys.
 
That was some cheap sh!t right there. Not even close. He didn't do that with the intent of timing the ball up perfectly. He did that out of spite.
 
clob94 said:
Good morning chaps. Welcome to the sunshine state. The home of Jeb Bush, Miami Vice and Florida Man. But Jimmy Buffet doesn't live in Key West, anymore......(none of ya'll will get that without looking it up)

Time for our "Welcome to the SEC" history lesson. And this one sucks. Like it really sucks.
The University of Florida- for as big as it is and as long as it's been around- is a pretty fvcking ho-hum school. Let's get started.

The University of Florida was founded in 1853. It's had 7 different names in its history. Seems like Florida Man couldn't make his mind up. Ready?
East Florida Seminary (1853–1861; 1866–1905)
Florida Agricultural College (1884–1903)
University of Florida at Lake City (1903–1905)
St. Petersburg Normal and Industrial School (1893–1905)
South Florida Military and Educational College (1894–1905)
University of the State of Florida (1905–1909)
And finally, the University of Florida.

They fancy themselves a research institute but with an endowment of only $2.75 billion dollars, I'm not sure how they afford it. They're not Mississippi State broke- but it's pretty obvious their alumni base leaves and never gives much back.

But let's skip through the boring ass history on Florida and go to the meat and potatoes. The thing you're all thinking about. The thing I know you're waiting for. The only really meaningful thing ever to come out of this swamp ass school. The only real bright point in their entire existence. That's right- Gatorade.

Yes, yes, Gatorade was invented by University of Florida scientists to quench the thirsts of Florida football players. It was a team of them, doing research on (among other things) hydration and nephrology. That's the study of the kidneys for you dumbasses out there.
The team was led by a man named James Robert Cade. Get it now, Gator-ade........ Cade....ade...... sometimes Clob has to spell sh!t out for some of you knuckleheads....
Anyway- this drink is scoffed at by some players and staff and even the University. Apparently it tasted more like Gator piss in it's first few iterations. But Dr Cade finally gets the flavor profile fixed and starts selling a decent amount of the stuff. That's when broke ass University of Florida steps in and says "hey dude, we gave you grant money to study this and we deserve part of the profit" (even though we mocked you about it).
Cade tells Florida to go enjoy a big fat bag of dicks, so Florida sues him, in court, in Florida, with a judge in the bench that graduated from......The University of Florida. How do you think THAT trial ended up going?

So Florida wins and gets 2% royalty on all Gatorade sales forever.

Now here's the irony of all this. The only REAL thing to ever come out of this school that's made a global impact, Gatorade, wasn't invented by a hometown, home grown, dyed in the world Florida Man.
Nope.
Dr James Robert Cade was born in San Antonio, Texas and attended school at------- drumroll please---

The University of Texas at Austin.

So, Florida-- you're welcome. And honestly, Gatorade does have a better ring to it than "Longhornade"....

Finally. The University of Florida seems to really crank out the pseudo celebrities. The list of B movie actors and children's authors is a mile long. But they don't have any REAL bellcow celebrities from their school. Faye Dunaway.... meh. In broadcast sports though- their grand slam is none other than Erin Andrews. She's a 10.
Eugene Sledge is also a distinguished alumni. For those of you that don't know, Sledge was a WWII Marine that survived the assault on Peleliu, and Okinawa- 2 of the most God damn brutal invasions in the history of man kind. Sledge went on to write a book about it that's been the focal point of several documentaries (one by Ken Burns) and an HBO series called "The Pacific".
And then there's Florida's sports stars. The most well known being arguably Emmitt Smith and Tim Tebow. The most infamous being Aaron Hernandez- the most famous football murderer not named OJ.
On a side note- the campus in Florida has a building filled with bats. Just bats.
No, not wooden bats- bats. With wings. They call it the "Bat House". There's 250,000 Brazilian free-tail bats that occupy it. It smells like sh!t. So here's to Texas (the original creator of Gatorade) driving Florida Man absolutely bat sh!t crazy today.

From my couch watching my 10 month old use by big toe as a chew toy--

TEXAS!
Click to expand...
Let's be honest @clob94. With the exception of Vanderbilt the SEC schools suck at academics. I wonder how many students at Florida are from there

And from the central valley I am enjoying this.
 
clob94 said:
That was some cheap sh!t right there. Not even close. He didn't do that with the intent of toming the ball up perfectly. He did that out of spite.
Click to expand...
That’s the kind of hit that should warrant getting ejected from the season. You could seriously hurt someone with that bullshit. It’s just a ****ing game, bro…
 
txleapd said:
That’s the kind of hit that should warrant getting ejected from the season. You could seriously hurt someone with that bullshit. It’s just a ****ing game, bro…
Click to expand...
That’s the kind of hit that should have one of our guys lay out one of theirs.
 
Our running backs all have butter fingers.

This sh!t needs to stop. Need to start duct-taping balls to kids hands and sending them to class.
 
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Drtxhorn said:
“They play hard when we’re down 40 points” is the goofiest reason to keep a coach lol
Click to expand...
The new name of the game is NIL... not so much getting rid of a disgraced coach. They have a lot of money tied up in kids that would go elsewhere if Nappier leaves.
 
clob94 said:
Our running backs all have butter fingers.

This sh!t needs to stop. Need to start duct-taping balls to kids hands and sending them to class.
Click to expand...
I don't want to. complain on the heels or a blowout win, but dammit, our RB fumbles and our WR misses 2,TWO,DOS potential TD receptions right in his hands. I am complaining because in a game like against Georgia, we may never get that chance again
 
We would have scored at least 66 without those drops, fumbles and missed FG. I don’t want to complain about a blowout win either, but sloppy play bites you in the ass at the worst times.
 
So Florida offense was really bad. We know. But gotta give the O some props today. That was fun to watch. Florida D is no slouch. Just saw the Quinn Dr Pepper commercial. I chuckled.
 
Anyone go to Longhorn Icehouse in Dallas to watch the game today? If I don’t go to the game I usually just watch at home with like minded family and friends or another friends game day party. My first time to go to the Longhorn Icehouse today. That has to rate up very high on UT game day experience ever.

If you live in the DFW area give it a look for the next game if you have no other big plans. You won’t be disappointed.
 
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