Long story-
I was almost 2-- my father was a company man for Ingersol Rand- that got sent everywhere to fix problems that others couldn't. We were living in Odessa when he was sent out to Santa Barbara to the offshore rigs that were being drilled there. The company jet would pick him up Monday at dawn and then bring him back Friday night. This went on for about 3 months and my mother was not a fan.
Dad tells Ingersol- "I've got another year of this sh!t, so you're going to get my family a place to live out there."
And they did.
They buy a condo in a complex that's literally right on the beach at the southern edge of Santa Barbara- just a couple of miles from the Helo-pad they used to fly my Dad and the guys out to the rigs.
So this complex was shaped like a horseshoe and the open end was facing the beach. In the middle of the horseshoe was a big ass swimming pool. Turns out Farrah had bought one of the condos as a place to get away to on the weekends. Mom had seen her once, briefly, and of course she told Dad about it. Mom figured she knew where Farrah's condo was because there were frequently loud parties that would take place at one particular unit- and mom said she could "always smell dope..." in the night air when she'd walk outside.
Anyway, Dad would fly out to the rig, do his sh!t then fly over to another rig, do his sh!t etc etc.
So as the story goes- something had happened and Dad ended up having to be out there for 2 solid weeks with no trip home to see us and according to Dad, very little sleep. When he finally gets to come back in, he's exhausted, and goes straight to bed.
Light sleeping Mom is awaked around midnight by noises and goes into the living room (which looked out over the pool) to see what the ruckus was.
She goes over to peak through the blinds and looks out and the pool and can see a dozen or so people, butt ass naked- having a skinny dipping session.
Now---- it's dark, but my mom swears that she saw Farrah- butt ass nude, running around this pool with her friends.
So....... she goes back into the room where Dad is passed out, dead tired-- and wakes him up.
This is the part where Dad would usually step in and start telling the story.
"So I'm in a dead ass sleep and all the sudden I get woken up by your mother. I'm thinking maybe there's an earthquake or a God damn doped up and hippie that had broken into the house, sh!t I don't know- but she damn near made me piss myself. And she's telling me to get up and follow her to the living room to look at something. I'm not even awake--- so damned tired I can't even open my eyes and she's got me by the hand and leading me down this hallway and I'm thinking 'what'n the sh!t is going on?'. She gets me over to the window and says something bout butt naked Farrah Fawcett and I can't decide if I'm having a dream or if your mom's finally lost her damn marbles. Now, my eyes aren't even barely open still and she's telling me to hurry up and look out the window and I'm dead ass tired, can't see sh!t, I'm wondering if I'm awake or dreaming- so I reach up and spread the blinds to look out and I'm so tired and my eyes are so blurry that I can't see sh!t and I don't even know what I'm looking for. I'm rubbing my eyes, looking, trying to pull focus, looking around and then all the sudden WHAM!!! Your mom open hand slaps the sh!t outta my upper shoulder and barks at me "What the hell are you staring at?!?!?!?!".