OT: You Know Ya from Texas

[FlourBluffHorn]

A brigade of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One man from Texas is better than ten Iraqis." The Iraqi commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes and then, silence. The voice once again calls out

"One man from Texas is better than one hundred Iraqi."

Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again, silence. The Rebel voice calls out again

"One man from Texas is better than one thousand Iraqi."

The enraged Iraqi commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.

Eventually one badly wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander,

"Don't send any more men...it's a trap. There are two of them.


Hook'em

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.

The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, ‘Well, did anyone else see my face?’

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then, one "old cowboy " tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, ‘My wife got a pretty good look at you.’

 

[Son of Wasatch]

The Texas Tech science department submitted a grant proposal seeking 1 million dollars to answer the age old question, why is the head of a man's penis larger than the shaft?

After a year of research, and a team of scientist and students doing double blind tests, they concluded it was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The University of Texas science department, never wanting to be out done by Texas Tech submitted their own grant for the very same question.

This research took them 2 years and cost over 2 million dollars, and in the end they concluded, it was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

The Texas A&M science department, seeing the ground breaking research happening at both Texas and Texas Tech decided to do their own research on the very same subject. Their research cost 25 dollars and took them just one weekend. They concluded it was so the sheep don't get away too easily.

 

[FlourBluffHorn]

More bright ideas from Texaans..lol

Will you ride down the giant water slide taking over Marble Falls?