It's all for show. Gay, bi, trans, gender fluid- a large % of people that identify in these categories are very discerning about their outward image. Many are very flamboyant.
I've got 2 family members- one male one female. The dude, if you passed him on the street, watched a game with him, ate bbq and drank beer with him, you'd never know.
The girl- she might as well be carrying a giant sign that says "I love pvssy" above her head at all times. I love her to death, she's cool as a fan- but you know immediately what she is the moment you lay eyes on her.
Many of these folks are/were pissed about being gay, were afraid of coming out, were tormented by religious people, or teased by friends and family. Now that they are out, they WANT to be in your face and flaunt it because the feel society wronged them in some way-- and being loud and drawing attention to themselves makes some folks feel uncomfortable-- and that's the reaction some of these formerly "wronged" gays want.
Those that act more buttoned up aren't this way. They are gay- their friends and family are neutral about it, they go about their lives doing their thing, not rubbing noses in their sexuality or life style- they are just every day folks-- living life.
Some folks want/need attention, negative or positive, some folks just want to do their thing.