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**OFFICIAL Texas vs Borderline Erotic thread of Vengaza del Cochino**

clob94

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2014
17,068
15,887
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Learn to speak Spanish and you can laugh at this title.

Morning dudes. Shake it off. I drank half a bottle of 20 year old single malt and I'm here at 7am doing this sh!t..... so you can get off your ass and buck up too.

Arkansas sucks. We all know that. This "rivalry" goes back a hundred years. 55 years ago we beat their ass in the "Game of the Century" while Tricky Dick watched from the press box. We've been there, done that, and they haven't.

Here comes your history lesson......

The University of Arkansas was founded in March of 1871 as a land grant school. Surprisingly, the first black student enrolled at the school in 1872. This means Arky was WAY ahead of the rest of the reconstruction states when it came to allowing blacks into their school. Oddly enough, in 1905, the president of the school, John N Tillman, was a former politician that proposed the Separate Coach Law of 1891- a law that said while riding on a train, blacks had to be in different rail cars than whites- I didnt even know that was a thing.
Considering all it's rich alumni- Arkansas is poor as fvck. Their endowment is a measly $1.8 billion. That tells me their alumni base doesn't donate anything at all.
There's a sidewalk that winds 4 miles through campus that has the name of every Arkansas graduate ever on it--- over 200,000 people.

In it's 1st year, two students were arguing over how to solve a math problem and one whipped out a knife and stabbed the other student. True story.
The first artistic rendition of the "razorback" was drawn by a member of the Choctaw nation.
There has been 5 medal of honor recipients that attended Arkansas. Aggy has them beat with 7.
The Fulbright Scholarship was started at the University of Arkansas.

Arkansas has only won 1 national title in football- in 1964.
Today will mark the 80th time Texas and Arkansas have played with Texas holding a 56-23 advantage. There's never been a tie in this game. Weird......
Notable alumni-
Charlie Rich-- country singer. Look him up. John Daly-- everybody knows who he is. William Fulbright-- for you nerds. Everyone's favorite NFL team owner Jerry Jones. Everyone's favorite Dallas Cowboy's coach Jimmy Johnson. Everyone's favorite OU coach Barry Switzer-- all went to Arkansas.
Every member of the Walton family-- you know- the folks that own Wal-Mart..... consequently, the Walton family have made the single largest donation to Arkansas ever-- $300 million dollars.
And of course, last and least- Bill and Hillary Clinton-- they did NOT attend Arkansas. Nope. They taught school there. Well, Hillary taught there- Bill just fvcked the co-eds.

So folks-- to mark the 80th time this "rivalry" has been played, here's to hanging 50 on wooo-pig--

From my upstairs couch because I was running a fever last night and don't want to get everyone in the house sick--

TEXAS!
 
From the west bank of the mighty Brazos in beautiful Brazoria County............FIGHT...!!!

Every time a student asks me to write them a letter of recommendation, I ask them where they are applying to. Every time the student tells me they're hoping to get into Arkansas, I tell them they don't need a letter of recommendation, they just need to be able to fog a mirror.....
 
From ft worth eating breakfast burritos and drinking whiskey FIGHT
 
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Speaking of the train wreck that is the Dallas Cowboys, from their world wide HQ of Frisco Texas

TEXAS
 
Bravo, nuestro amigo, Clob. Vamos a dar les unos chingasos a esos marranos.

From the birthplace of the great Nolan Richardson who also stayed home in El Paso and played under Don “The Bear” Haskins. He graduated in ‘64 which means he missed the Miner’s basketball championship by only 2 years, but made up for it by leading Razorbacks to a national championship on ‘94.

FIGHT!
 
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Quinn can't step up in the fvcking pocket without getting hit-- now he can't step up without sacking himself.

The dude just keeps getting less and less impressive.
 
I’ve never wanted a QB to get benched more than QE. He has the worst pocket awareness I’ve ever seen. MF falls over his own feet when someone breathes on him.
 
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