Ketch's 10 Thoughts From the Weekend (Orangbloods is the modern American family ...)

Discussion in 'Ketch's 10 Thoughts From the Weekend Archive' started by Ketchum, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    [​IMG]

    Kathleen Kelly: You know, I don't really think that HE could be your nephew.

    Joe Fox: No, no, no, it's true. Annabelle is my - *aunt*. Isn't that right, Aunt Annabelle?

    Annabelle Fox: Uh-huh, and Matt is his...

    Kathleen Kelly: Oh wait, wait, wait, let me guess. Are you his uncle?

    Matthew Fox: No.

    Kathleen Kelly: His grandfather?

    [Matt giggles, as he shakes his head]

    Kathleen Kelly: His great-grandfather?

    Matthew Fox: [laughing] I'm his brother!

    Joe Fox: [answering Kathleen's very confused look] Matthew is my father's son, Annabelle is my *grandfather's* daughter. We are... an American family.



    On Tuesday afternoon, just a few miles away from the San Francisco airport at a restaurant called Mokutanya, I sat eye to eye with my father, just the two of us, for the first time in my life.

    Some of you will know this about me, but many of you will not - I have a complicated relationship with my biological father. He was about to graduate from Baylor in 1975 when he went on a few dates with my mom, who was a junior in high school at Waco Reicher at the time. Somewhere along the way inside of those dates, yours truly was created. While my mom decided to raise me on her own as an 18-year-old high school senior, my dad went off to California and started a new life that was different from anything he'd every known in Texas, eventually emerging as one of the most successful men in the entire high tech world over the last 30 years.

    Over the course of the first 37+ years of my life, we'd never met, despite the fact that he paid child support until I was 18 and helped with a year of my college tuition when I was at Texas. While I used to spend weekends with his parents when I was a child, he just never had an interest in really having a relationship with me. Obviously.

    All of that changed when my twins arrived in 2014, as we met a few weeks after they were born and he visited them the next day while they were in the NICU. That was followed up with another luncheon with Heather (my wife), Hendrix and Haven roughly two years later . Although we weren't on steady speaking terms, I was under the impression that our relationship was one that was growing, albeit at a very slow burn.

    That impression changed in July when my grandfather, who I had spent the last few years redeveloping a relationship with, died in Lakeway about 15 minutes from my house in Cedar Park. Even though my dad had apparently been in town for almost two weeks, he never called me. No one did. Feeling that my grandfather would have wanted me at the funeral, but knowing that every person at the funeral wouldn't have wanted me there, my wife and I sat in our car for nearly two hours on the day of his funeral at his grave-site until everyone left so that we could pay our respects.

    In an effort to cut this "Dear Diary" moment as short as possible for you guys reading this, I ended up requesting/demanding a meeting after a series of insulting emails from him that I'm sure weren't meant to be insulting but couldn't be anything but. Anywhere, any place ... just tell me and I'd fly to him for a one-on-one. He suggested we talk on the phone. I told him I deserved an in-person conversation.

    So, there I was in San Francisco at a Japanese restaurant that he said had five-star reviews online. Face to face.

    It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that the things he was going to say to me were going to be rough, but damnit, I felt like it was time to stop pussyfooting with the situation and just be real with each other for one time in our lives.

    And he got real, telling me over the course of an hour the following:

    * Wished I had been aborted and still feels that way today.
    * Views me as one of the three worst mistakes of his life (we didn't discuss the other two).
    * There will never be a future relationship because it's too much trouble for him and he wouldn't want to have to try to explain me to his friends.
    * Basically doesn't view me as his son and certainly not someone he would claim as family.

    There was actually a lot more, but I'm sure you'll get the point after those four small examples. Honestly, it was a lot to absorb, especially with nothing but time on my hands in the 8 hours that it took to get back to Austin. It was quite humbling.

    Thankfully, I had Orangebloods to lean on and whether I was discussing Longhorn football, Emmitt Smith's place as the best running back of all-time or arguing whether Sadio Mane was a more productive player than Eden Hazard over the last three years in the Premier League, I had our big, crazy dysfunctional crazy-town to lean on as a distraction. Even if I hadn't told anyone I needed the company, the Orangebloods family was there for me in that exact moment of needed companionship.

    That truth hit home for me the following day when I was driving down South Lamar past Post South Lamar, which is where our Orangebloods brother Christian Meroney had been murdered earlier this month. When I looked over towards the building as I drove by, I just dropped into a sunken place. It had just been a couple of days before when we all learned that another Orangebloods family member John Ballard McDonald (Orange Turdfrog) had passed away and I felt the full weight of losing them in that moment.

    Between the two of them, they'd been on the site with me for more than two decades. That's a long damn time. Believe me, I know what that means in so many ways. There's a lot of life equity on this board. The thing that I love about this wildly chaotic family of ours the most is that when urgent matters call for it, the Orangebloods family responds like a boss every time. EVERY TIME. I might have argued with Christian about the most unimportant things on a daily basis, but if I was ever in need, I feel like there's no question he'd be there. I know I would have been there for him. Numbers greater than we can count would have.

    It dawned on me while I was at a stoplight on South Lamar, pushed to the brink of tears, that Orangebloods is the modern-day American family. It doesn't make sense that this community has emerged into something bigger than a mere message board, but my Orangebloods family has been there for me in ways that my "real family" has never and will never be there.

    Over the course of the last two decades, this family of ours has changed the scope of my entire life. I met my wife on the eve of the 2005 Big 12 title game because of this place. People who stood next to me at my wedding were introduced through this place. Hell, my son's name came from a post I made asking for suggestions.

    All of this leads me to this morning when I woke up to see a thread posted by @hornsfan65 called "Adios." Inside of that thread, an Orangebloods family member seemed to be leaving a bit of a suicide note. Overwhelmed with all of the loss in his life, the indications were given that he was going to take is life and he wanted to thank the Orangebloods family for being there for him. In a panic, I did what I could to help and just hoped that the pleading from the members of the board would lead him to give it just one more day. I prayed that he'd let us lift him up like so many others have been lifted up over the last two decades, myself included.

    The pleading and the prayers failed, as it was confirmed by his wife on Sunday morning that Bryce had taken his life. Alone in his car, his last words were directed towards the Orangebloods family that he loved and appreciated. Left behind is a wife and an 11-year old son that will never have their husband and father again, respectively.

    It's just devastating in so many ways. It's as this point that I'm kind of out of words because I don't know what to say.

    We've lost three Orangebloods family members in the last month and we can't get so much as another hour with any of them, which is haunting. More than anything, I just want to let anyone else on this site that is feeling the types of pressure that @hornfan65 was feeling to know that we're all here for each other. I'm here for you. Your Orangebloods family is for you.

    I've known all of this before, but it hit home hard in the last few days.

    In a week when the definitions of what is and isn't family in my life have been firmly defined, I want to express by undying gratitude to my Orangebloods family. I don't know what I'd ever do without you.

    Even if some of you are like the uncle we all want to hide in another room away from the family at Thanksgiving dinner, you're still my family. I started this section with a movie reference and I'm going to end it with one.


    No. 2 - Three Biggest Takeaways From The First Three Days ...

    * This true freshman class is going to make a much bigger impact this season than most people are probably expecting, and that includes myself. In addition to Caden Sterns (more on him in a bit), Brennan Eagles is working with the second-team offense, Junior Angilau has made a bigger first impression than any other first-year lineman in the program thus far (yes, that includes Calvin Anderson) and Ayodele Adeoye continues to look like a guy that will be starting sooner than later in his career. Every dude that was recruited in the 2016 and 2017 recruiting classes better understand that it's now or never... or risk getting passed by a younger player. Talented freshmen are everywhere and they are going to play, new rule that allows every freshman four games to play with or not.

    * Texas doesn't have five good offensive linemen yet, so Herb Hand is giving everyone a chance to make a case for themselves. In an ideal world, you're not shuffling guys all over the place across first-team and second-team roles in August, but the status quo from last season (and even this spring) just isn't good enough. It's possible that we need to throw away any predispositions we might have had about the make-up of the starting line going into the season in the trash can because it sure seems like Hand has.

    * Sam Ehlinger will have to have a really poor camp to lose the starting quarterback job. When Herman announced that Ehlinger had earned the right to take the first reps with the first-team offense, he was telling us that separation on the scoreboard has taken place. What I find fascinating about the job security at the position is that it might be a little like the job security Tyrone Swoopes had going into the 2016 season. Bottom line - Sam better player well in the first half against Maryland. If he does that, he might just run away from everyone for the next few seasons. If he doesn't, Herman will almost certainly play another option. When you have four guys and they can all play without consequence, a head coach's patience will only last so long.

    No. 3 - "I JOG FASTER THAN CALVIN ANDERSON AND I HAD MY KNEE REPLACED SIX MONTHS AGO!!"...

    If you missed it in Alex's notes from Sunday, this was a quote from Herb Hand at practice while the offensive line was jogging from one section of the practice fields to another.

    Subtle. I like it. Sounds like Calvin needs to pick up his pace.

    Quote of the Year at this point.

    No. 4 - My possible big dose of hyperbole in the column ...

    Caden Sterns might be the best player in this program before we get to December.

    I've spent all weekend thinking about it and I can't remember the last time a true freshman started the first game of the season in the secondary, let alone took the very first rep in August with the first-team defense. I ran every name I could think of through my brain and couldn't think of anyone. So, I looked it up.

    Didn't happen last year, obviously. Or 2016. Or 2015. Or 2014. Or 2013. Or 2012. Or 2011. Or 2010. Or 2009.

    While I thought I might go into the last century, it turns out the last defensive back to start a game as a true freshman was Blake Gideon. I totally forgot that. No one else has done it this century. I stopped looking at some point in the Mackovic years, with the point being that it doesn't happen very often firmly established.

    The metrics from the last decade suggest that Sterns entered college with anywhere between a 65-75 percent chance of one day emerging as a player that will be drafted by an NFL team. Unless injuries occur, he looks like a guy that will start every game of his career and emerge as a legit awards candidate in very short time.

    Sterns is what it looks like when a five-star player goes boom and you can't have enough of them.

    No. 5 - Riddle me this...

    I penned a small story for @TicketCity this week detailing the top 5 rivalries in the Big 12 going into the season.

    Man, once you get beyond Texas/OU and Bedlam, it's pretty slim pickings - Baylor vs TCU, Texas vs. Texas Tech and Kansas vs. Kansas State were the other three I selected.

    It's a pretty gross list if you think about it for more than three seconds. Can anyone argue for another Big 12 rivalry that warrants bumping one of those three out?

    No. 6 - Story-time with Uncle Ketch...
    [​IMG]

    Sometimes we can all use a reminder that the players on the Texas football team are all a bunch of kids. Oh, maybe some of them are young adults by the time they leave, but at the age of 42, they all look like a bunch of kids to me.

    Don't ask me why this story stands out in my head after all of these years, but there are so many small lessons inside of it.

    It was the summer of 2002 and one of the young players on the Texas roster called me to ask if I knew someone that would want to buy his Big 12 Championship ring. I told him that I didn't know of anyone that was into that kind of thing and that even if I did, I wouldn't tell him because I thought it was a huge mistake. Still, the player argued with me that he had financial issues and he needed the money.

    Then he said something I've never forgotten.

    "What's the big deal? It's just a Big 12 South ring," he told me. "I'll replace it next year with a conference championship ring."

    So, he sold the ring for $150. Twelve months later, he was no longer in the program and he never played another down of major college football. As it turns out, that ring was the only ring he ever earned as a college athlete.

    The big financial issue that he sold his ring over?

    He had to pay his cell phone bill.

    No. 7 – Buy or Sell …
    [​IMG]

    BUY or SELL: By the bowl game, the best QB on the roster will be a freshman?

    (Sell) I'm buying stock in Ehlinger very quietly right now.

    BUY or SELL: Sam finishes the year with a higher QB rating than Kyler?

    (Sell) I believe in Lincoln Riley's offense more at the moment than I do Tom Herman's. If forced to give one unproven side a little more benefit of the doubt, I have to give it to the guy without identity issues with his offensive unit.

    BUY or SELL: There will be plenty of college coaches/programs who will still care too much about winning, therefor this Urban Meyer scandal won’t be near the last one we see?

    (Buy) This is what the sausage looks like when it's being made. I stopped believing that nice guys in this sport is possible when the supposedly super-character guy Chris Peterson covered for Art Briles when the Baylor scandal was really taking off. The coaches in the profession are more Silk Road than Main Street in Maybarry.

    BUY or SELL: Buy or Sell: With the Longhorns being ranked in the Top 25 to start the season, being ranked in the Top 10 at some point this season is a real possibility?

    (Buy) I think a 3-0 start will have them just on the cusp of the Top 10.

    BUY or SELL: if Texas Defense improves from last years play and has no major injuries and on offense we manage 210 rushing and 240 passing per game we have a shot at 10 wins?

    (Buy) You just described a Big 12 championship team.

    BUY or SELL: It’s the fall of 2006, Colt is not on the team, but all 4 current scholarship QBs are (in their current stage of development). You would start Buechele on that team?

    (Sell) I start the better, more dynamic option, which at the moment is Sam Ehlinger.

    BUY or SELL: We suck until we don't?

    (Buy) Hold the rope, fellas.

    BUY or SELL: As tragic as it would be, Meyer's PR group and blame machine has done enough to keep him at tOSU?

    (Sell) This story is going to be a slow, incredibly messy drip. He's a liar and the answers to so many questions simply won't allow it.

    BUY or SELL: at pressers, Austin media and sports media will keep raising the issue of Zach Smith and what Herman and his tOSU assistants knew about the situation until they answer the questions straight on?

    (Sell) Not unless a reason for those questions develops. It seems to me that Herman has been given a pass on this subject for the most part.I haven't heard that it's been asked about in the last two media sessions that he has participated in from the weekend.

    BUY or SELL: Liverpool win the EPL this season?
    [​IMG]


    No. 8 – Eternal Randomness of the Spotty Sports Mind …

    ... I'm trying to charge my NFL jets, but I just can't seem to shake the cobwebs. I need to set up my fantasy league this year. Just doing one. I'll do my best to be an A-plus commish.

    ... I had no desire to watch Ray Lewis' 33-minute HOF speech. No thanks.

    ... Cody Garbrandt needs to move along and forget that he ever tried to cross T.J. Dillashaw. That beef is officially settled.

    ... I'm still trying top process Mighty Mouse losing. It was a close fight, but I thought the judges got it right.

    ... Can we just see the Red Sox and Astros play a best of 11 series in October, please?

    ... I really can't explain my Phillies and how they are in first place. Five in a row and just cruising along at 15 games over .500. No way did I think this was a 90-win team... assuming it gets there.

    ... The Astros have a 141 run edge over the Athletics in run-differential, but only have a 4.5 game lead in the standings. Baseball can be so weird.

    ... Consider me Team LeBron forever after watching him unveil his new school for at-risk youth this week.

    ... There's a part of me that thinks Jalen Hurts is starting at Texas next year.

    ... Liverpool is going to win the EPL title. Man City is going to play in the Champions League Final.

    ... Josef Martinez has 26 goals in 24 games for Atlanta United in the MLS. I'm curious to see what happens to the 25-year old Venezuelan from here on out because I'd argue the MLS needs him to succeed in Europe moving forward more than it needs him to be the league's best player.

    No. 9 - The List: Top 10 Cover Songs That Are Better than The Original ...

    10. Al Green - How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?
    9. Sinead o'Connor - Nothing Compares to You
    8. Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee
    7. The Beatles - Twist and Shout
    6. Ike and Tina Turner - Proud Mary
    5. Johnny Cash - Hurt
    4. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
    3. Jimi Hendrix - All Along The watch Tower
    2. Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
    1. Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

    No. 10 – And Finally ...

    Rest in peace, @hornsfan65
    [​IMG]
     
    1 Ketchum, Aug 5, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2018
  2. Weller 12

    Weller 12 Well-Known Member
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  3. MK_AllDay

    MK_AllDay Your favorite poster's favorite poster.
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    OU sucks.
     
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  4. Ugalde

    Ugalde Well-Known Member
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    Doh...almost
     
  5. adam_bomb

    adam_bomb Well-Known Member
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    Awesome job this week

    Signed - Said Uncle
     
  6. staceman

    staceman Saving the world...1 client at a time!
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    All well said, Ketch! Here’s to the family! :confused:
     
  7. jnitetrain

    jnitetrain Well-Known Member
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  8. mirvin

    mirvin Alright, alright, alright. Get it on!
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    Ketch, i have bookmarked only a handful of threads on here. Mainly those threads that involved an Air Force vet or such. However after reading the entirety of your column, i have to include it on my 'marked' list. Your personal story in conjunction with those of these past near 30 days in OB's chronological timeline, seems fitting and appropriate. I think you stated the generalized sentiment for the board. I knew one personally, met one other at a fellow OB's tailgate, and how i wished i had been graced by the others acquaintance.

    Thank you for reaching out to the board. It was in a ways a beautiful commemoration.
     
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  9. wordell1

    wordell1 Well-Known Member
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    There were some true heroes on this board last night who made a great effort to save a REAL hero.

    We all need to remember the sacrifices that our service members make for our freedom. The debt we owe can never be properly repaid.

    RIP @hornsfan65
     
  10. CS

    CS Social Justice Warrior
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    That was a tough read but probably the best thing you’ve ever written.
     
  11. magnahorn

    magnahorn never wrong; sometimes misreinterpreted.
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    Yeah, that cry for help was something sad to see. Didn't realize until the column he actually did it though.
     
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  12. tlcdownunder2

    tlcdownunder2 Well-Known Member
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    I love you, Ketch. You’re a damn good man.
     
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  13. Big Bertha

    Big Bertha Well-Known Member
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    I'm sorry to hear that story about your father Ketch. You are better off away from someone like that. I know it hurts but he isn't worth your thoughts. Hang in there. You've done more than fine without that guy. Yes Orangebloods is one big family.
     
  14. wordell1

    wordell1 Well-Known Member
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    Its needed a separate post, but kudos to you Ketch for handling your family situation like a real man. You gave it a chance but you do not need to be defined by your birth father. It is truly his loss - not yours. Hopefully this gives you closure.

    Thanks for sharing
     
  15. BobHorn

    BobHorn baby steps
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    Heavy, well-written column this week. Sorry what you had/are having to go through with your biological father.
     
  16. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    That's nice of you to say. Thanks.
     
  17. TexHorn39

    TexHorn39 Well-Known Member
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    Heavy stuff. Thanks for sharing. What caused your improving relationship with your dad in 2016 to deteriorate so severely between then and this July, and why weren’t you wanted at the funeral by anyone? Sorry to hear all this. Sounds like you’re working toward a good perspective on it
     
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  18. ATXHorn94

    ATXHorn94 Little-Known Member
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    Damn. Brutal story about your biological father. I'm not sure I'd be able to resist making sure all those people that he didn't want to know... knew.
     
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  19. mvaddy

    mvaddy Well-Known Member
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    Amen.
     
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  20. Texas Diesel

    Texas Diesel Hook ‘em!!!!
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    Definite tears in thinking about hornsfan65.

    Thanks for sharing your story Ketch and though it may be incredibly difficult, purge the absolute piece of shit your father is and use it for fuel to be an infinitely better father than him.

    I’m guessing you are team Agassi due to the school he set up in Vegas.
     
  21. Frank Pentangeli

    Frank Pentangeli Well-Known Member
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    imma lrt you finish, but Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye is the besr cover of all time.

    It's so good no one realizes it's a cover.
     
  22. GatlinEagle

    GatlinEagle Well-Known Member
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    Great read Ketch. Heartbreaking to heard your story.
    I speak for a lot of people that you are loved and valued both from people IRL that interact with you daily, and OB members that call this place home. It takes a lot of courage, patience, and humility to run this place and nobody does a better job that you. Don't let the man's lies enter into your head, nobody should be ashamed of you.
     
  23. Snarkasterous1

    Snarkasterous1 Justify my love, 'Horns!
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    RIP to my brother in arms....

    ....and prayers for those left behind.
     
  24. drunk randoke

    drunk randoke Ok cool. Hook 'em
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    That’s deep Geoff. Thank you for sharing that. This place is family. Made many great friendships here.
     
  25. smileartisan

    smileartisan Rock-'n'-roll can save the world!
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    Good stuff Ketch. I had no idea about your relationship issues with your father. The good news is you don’t need him to have a great and fulfilling life.

    We’ve lost some good men around here lately but damn I love this place.
     
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  26. MK_AllDay

    MK_AllDay Your favorite poster's favorite poster.
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    Mark the tape! I hope not because this would mean that Ehlinger has not made the strides we’d all hope to see this season.
     
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  27. Silencam

    Silencam https://imgur.com/gallery/8WGZST2
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    Be everything to your twins that your biological father was not to you.

    Great column.
     
  28. tob08

    tob08 Well-Known Member
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    Your biological father sucks! That was really tough to read. But thank you for being so open with us maybe this will inspire more of us men to do the same...
     
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  29. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    a. It's hard to say. I don't know that it deteriorated. I thought inroads towards a better relationship had been made, but that is completely controlled by the whims of my father and when he volunteered to make himself available recently. He's very detached from everyone he knows in Texas, including his sister. He basically told me the only thing that makes her family is the blood, not any relationship that they have.

    I'm the black sheep of my dad's family. I don't even know how many people know about me. I've never met my dad's wife or my half-sisters.

    As my dad said on Tuesday, "I didn't call you because I didn't think to and I surely didn't want that to be your coming out party."

    The funeral story is wild. It could have been 3,000 words by itself.
     
  30. bradford345

    bradford345 Well-Known Member
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    KSU vs ISU is pretty good. I’d rank it ahead of KU vs KSU
     
    Austin1 likes this.
  31. Caskeyjm

    Caskeyjm Well-Known Member
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    Thanks for your personal sharing as I just recently met my biological father at age 51. It has been tough but we are building a relationship. Sorry to hear your father isn’t interested at the moment but never say never.

    Also thank you for building a community that treats real life strangers as family, even if it is dysfunctional at times. When it matters the most the people on this board step up to the plate. This place is what is still right in the world.
     
  32. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    I've always been Team Agassi.

    AS for my dad, you can't miss what you've never had. I'm the person I am today because of the dynamics that are involved in my life, including not having him shape any of it.
     
  33. ThomasM4451

    ThomasM4451 Well-Known Member
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    Moving TTFTW
     
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  34. Frank Pentangeli

    Frank Pentangeli Well-Known Member
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    now that i got the easy part out of the way,well said and you're better off without that ptick.
     
    tob08 and BrushCountryHorn like this.
  35. Carhorn

    Carhorn Well-Known Member
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    1 was incredibly sad. Acceptance of this is the new American family is even more sad. Be a great father.
    If you are not good at being a father, it really doesn't matter what you are good at.
     
    CAPITOLHORN, CJK5H, bobabbott and 6 others like this.
  36. drunk randoke

    drunk randoke Ok cool. Hook 'em
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    Whoa
     
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  37. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    KSU fans don't hate Iowa State. They do hate Jayhawks. Real hate.
     
    marinehorn likes this.
  38. Austin County

    Austin County He gets it and it's not even close.
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    [​IMG] To my OB brothers and @Ketchum with everything that has been going on.
     
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  39. Ketchum

    Ketchum Resident Blockhead
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    When he transfers, he's coming this direction. It's just a matter of which program in this state.
     
  40. lilcoo3

    lilcoo3 Well-Known Member
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    Thank you
     

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