There's a universe out there where this column is nothing more than me channeling my inner Nick Naylor from the movie Thank You For Smoking and give you the biggest spin job possible coming out of a pretty horrible weekend on the Texas football landscape.
In another universe, perhaps I'd just focus on a few truths from 30,000 feet up about this program that Saturday once again revealed in the face of the brightest lights the sport has to offer. A very strong case can be made that the reality exposed in the universe where the focus is on the blinking red worrying signs on both sides of the ball shouldn't be ignored.
Then there's the universe that exists where I just say what I want to say. Some of its ugly. But, it's real.
In trying to decide which option to choose, I've decided to choose violence. I'll do all three and let the pieces fall where they fall. We're at the midway point in the season and the Longhorns are a borderline unranked 4-2 team. A 360-degree view of where things stand is probably the best idea, even if it's not exactly the thing that everyone reading it will want to consume.
No. 2 - Let's start with the burnt orange Kool-Aid. ...
For all of the flaws that emerged on the offensive side of the ball in the final 45 minutes of Saturday's game, we're still talking about a unit that ranks 1st in the Big 12 in scoring (44.5), total offense 480 yards per game), rushing offense (245 yards per game) and passing game efficiency (176.2).
The only Texas offense in the history of the program to pull off such a thing over the course of the entire season is the freakishly historic 2005 team.
The Texas offense features a quarterback that is on pace to have the best passing efficiency season in school history, a running back that some people believe is the best player in the country and a freshman wide receiver that leads the Big 12 in both receiving yards and receiving touchdowns.
There are going to be some games on the remaining schedule, all of which the Longhorns will be favored in when the Longhorns will be able to overwhelm teams with its offensive firepower. Oh, all of the offensive firepower is set to return in 2022.
None of this is insignificant. It's actually a huge important deal. The addition of Steve Sarkisian to the Texas program has elevated the offense from the very good territory into the statistically elite of the elite family.
If the only thing we wanted to do was make you feel good 24 hours after the OU loss, I'd just keep writing about this ridiculous offensive trio.
No. 3 - Fool's Gold ...
Yet, there's a little bit of fool's gold inside of this shiny statistical offensive force and it centers around an offensive line that has been manhandled in the two biggest games of this season thus far. The skill positions on this team mean this team has a chance to drop 50 in every game it plays, but the offensive line play that it owns puts the program in a problematic position when it plays against the 10-20 percent of the teams across the country that can truly punish such uneven offensive line play.
Sarkisian was hired to get Texas to championship levels, but it's hard to hide being deficient in the trenches, which Texas most certainly is on the offensive side of the ball.
The real rub with this discussion is that there's no quick solution to this problem. Years of disappointing recruiting results up-front on the offensive side of the ball have left the program lacking the type of viable long-term options that would make you believe the answers to the current riddle are already on campus.
In general, Texas needs better offensive linemen. Plural.
It's tough to say when the Longhorns can get the offensive line play at a level where it can remotely match the play it receives from the skill positions, but it's likely to take years. Plural. Even if the Longhorns can land a couple of five-stars in the next month, it might be a couple of seasons before those young players are ready to perform like men.
There's no great answer for the here and now. It's a roster limitation that puts a ceiling on just how good this team can
really be. In reality, there's nothing special about the Oklahoma or Arkansas defensive units, yet they were able to suffocate Texas when those games were left to be decided.
If that were the only major personnel issue on the team, it would be one thing, but the Texas defense has fallen back in the abyss that includes all teams ranked 100+ in the country on that side of the ball. You cannot win championships at this level without playmaking monsters off the edge and the reality os that the Longhorns don't have a single player right now in the program that can get to the quarterback on a regular basis.
As is the case with the offensive line problem, the only answer to the problem is adding players in recruiting that can't help immediately and might not be in place for action before the 2023 season.
Sarkisian can coach the hell out of some offense, but he can't create personnel pieces that don't exist on both sides of the ball with the snap of his fingers.
This reality needs to be part of the thought process that shapes expectations for everyone that cares about the program. There will be moments when the skill guys can overcompensate for these issues, but there will be days like yesterday when the reminder of the distance towards elite still exists.
No. 4 - I can't shake this ...
Finally, I have to shout out the thing that I feel like is the elephant in the room with this team.
If we eliminate the fantastic first quarter against Oklahoma and the fairly meaningless fourth quarter against Arkansas, the 2021 Longhorns have been outscored 78-27 in the other six quarters of action against its two toughest opponents.
That's freaking horrible and inexcusable. In fact, it's so horribly one-sided in its awfulness that the fact Texas was outscored 45-20 in the final three quarters against a vulnerable Sooners squad that hasn't pushed anyone with a pulse around all season is the thing that stands out to me about the game as much as anything.
The truth of the matter is that Texas had such a big lead that it masked what was taking place on the field until the game was almost over.
Well, there you go... something a little sweet, something a little sour and something that will make you vomit in your mouth. My work here is done.
No. 5 - The greatest single-game wide receiver performance in school history ...
Before Saturday afternoon, only two receivers in the history of the Texas program had ever recorded 200+ yards receiving in a game.
Tony Jones was a small piece of TNT that dropped 242 yards against Pittsburgh in a game called the Bluebonnet Bowl from 34 years ago and 22 years later, Jordan Shipley caught 273 yards of passes in a game against Central Florida that has somehow faded from my memory as a thing that actually happened.
Roy Williams never broke 200. Neither did Devin Duvernay (although he came really, really close).
True freshman Xavier Worthy dropped a 261-yard bomb on the Sooners, highlighted by bookend touchdown receptions to start and end his afternoon.
Considering the opponent and the full context of the game, it's hard to argue that any receiver has ever delivered a better performance.
In the aftermath, it needs to be said that Worthy has been the Big 12's best receiver at the midway point in the season and has done almost as much in six games as a freshman than Roy Williams did in 12 back in 2000. Worthy is first in the Big 12 in receiving yards, first in receiving touchdowns, second in yards per catch and is tied for the longest reception.
Where would this team be without him?
No. 6 - More randomness with a day to chew on things ...
... Bijan Robinson is on pace for a 1,578 yards and 16 touchdowns rushing this season through 12 games.
... I'm still stunned that Keilan Robinson and Roschon Johnson didn't so much as get a whiff of a touch against Oklahoma and that Texas running backs position as a whole was a non-factor in the Texas passing game. Where was the wheel route? Just once?
... The loss of Jordan Whittington to a clavicle injury means that Worthy is going to need to be the alpha dog in the passing game, a role he clearly seems capable and eager to fill. Joshua Moore is going to need to be the player he was on Saturday each week. The disappearing acts will need to stop because the proven targets on this team beyond those two at the receiver position are minimal. Texas really needs Moore to rise to the occasion.
... It's concerning that Texas' three worst performances of the season have all been away from home. It makes trying to determine realistic expectations for the upcoming visits to Waco, Ames and Morgantown tough to figure out.
... Cameron Dicker is averaging more yards per punt in 2021 than Michael Dickson did in any of his seasons at Texas. By more than a yard.
... In the final 45 minutes of the game on Saturday, Casey Thompson completed 14 of 26 passes for 212 yards and two touchdowns (147 rating).
... Junior Angilau is very quietly having a very good year.
... Oklahoma has registered 18 tackles for loss against Texas in the last three seasons, while Nik Bonitto has recorded five sacks in the same three-year window.
... It's not just Keondre Coburn that hasn't had the season that was expected. Why does it seem like Moro Ojomo's development has hit a brick wall?
No. 7 - About A&M's win over Alabama ...
You guys can poo-poo what happened in College Station all you want, especially if it's what you need to do coming out of the weekend. Hey, I get it.
The reality of what happened on Saturday is that Texas let an opportunity for the program to shoot into the stratosphere in terms of momentum slip through its fingers and the Aggies did not.
A&M has been pointing to the A&M game in. recruiting for the last nine months as the moment when the Maroon Death Star would be operational. While you wouldn't say that is exactly the case, A&M football delivered on its promise to kill the Alabama dragon and delivering on that kind of stage is going to be impactful in recruiting.
It would certainly be naive to think that the kids that visited College Station last night won't be impacted by the spectacle that was produced.
In a recruiting world of fine margins, A&M got a big shot in the arm last night, especially with regards to 2023 recruiting.
What its impact translates to in terms of results remains to be seen, but last night is exactly the kind of moment that Jimbo Fisher has been praying for.
No. 8 – BUY or SELL …
(Buy) He certainly is this season when you consider that he's probably fourth string at best right now on offense and he has the talent to upgrade what is currently available on the defensive side of the ball. I don't think he'd be a difference-maker of the highest order, but his talent suggests he'd help more on defense than offense. Of course, he wants to play offense and that desire is going to stand paramount to everything else for now.
(Sell) His decision will come down to a number of factors, but it's not going to be the thing that it comes down to. The legitimacy of the program compared to the likes of Georgia, Alabama or Clemson will matter every bit as much. They aren't going somewhere that feels like a reach or a step down.
(Buy) I think the thing that kept him from five-star status was not having a senior season. His talent is as plain as day.
(Sell) I had this team at 4-2 through this point of the season in my pre-season prediction.
(Sell) I think his first call might be a return to Alabama's Pete Golding.
(Buy) Texas should be Oklahoma State.
(Buy) 100-percent IMO.
(Buy) Saturday wasn't a lost cause. Playing Oklahoma in a game that everyone was talking about all weekend will help with regards to the Longhorns selling a story that they are a few blue chip players away from being what they want to be. That prize just isn't as good as what was available of what A&M was able to achieve later in the day.
(Sell) It's at a Big 12 level, but not at the high end of the SEC level.
(Sell) There are no aces up the sleeve for either area. What you see if mostly what exists.
(Buy) If by contender you mean on the national level.... buy.
(Sell) I don't believe that at all. You shouldn't, either. It's just that we're in the 2021 season and that's not helping in there here and now.
(Sell) Not really.
No. 9 - Scattershooting on the sports weekend ...
... I'm not sure I have any idea what happens the rest of the way in this college season. We might be looking at pure chaos in December.
... Cannot believe we live in a world where Iowa is ranked No.2 in the nation.
... Every team in the top 10 not named Georgia feels really sketchy to these eyes.
... What on earth did Texas unleash in Caleb Williams?
... One month after totally stomping the Texas offense, the Arkansas defense gave up 52 points to Ole Miss. Yeesh.
... LSU is going to need to open up the checkbook at the end of the season buy its way out of hell.
... The Cowboys won't win the Super Bowl, but this team might be more fun than any team in the NFL and I can live with that.
... The Texans played their guts out on Sunday. It feels like they deserved better than to lose to the Patriots.
... I really should have drafted Derrick Henry.
... If Mason Crosby happened to be a cat, he'd have used up 8 of his 9 lives prior to making the game-winning field goal.
... No way Tyson Fury was losing after coming to the ring like this.
... Deontay Wilder needs to move on from Fury. That 11th round sealed that deal.
... I've been completely aloof to the start of the MLB post-season. I mean... I know what's going on, but I've watched very little of it.
... The USMNT went to Panama with a white towel in hand upon its arrival and I'm kind of shocked by the gall of it all. Fellas, y'all better get three points at home this week.
No. 10 - Top 10 Matt Damon Movies ...
He's one of the biggest movie stars in the world. He's believable as Will Hunting or Jason Bourne or a nerd on Mars.
It's time to rank his best stuff.
10. School Ties
9. The Informant!
8. Ocean's 11
7. The Talented Mr. Ripley
6. Rounders
5. The Martian
4. Saving Private Ryan
3. The Departed
2. The Bourne Series
1. Good Will Hunting
