Ho-ho-ho.
I'm not coming down your chimney tonight, but I'm bringing gifts, nonetheless. It's Santa Ketch, baby!
There have been years when I haven't given out gifts over the holidays, but with the Longhorns set to play in the playoffs for the first time, it feels like the perfect time to send as much karma to everyone wearing burnt orange as possible.
Let's give out some presents.
To @AgaveHorn - All of the new TexasOne donors you guys can handle and a few heavy hitters to handle some big dogs.
To Jahdae Barron - A pick-six off of Michael Penix Jr.
To Jonathon Brooks - A tremendous rehab process over the next 9-10 months and a day two selection in the NFL Draft if you go pro.
To D.J. Campbell - Two very consistent performances to end the season.
To @CS - Nothing but sunshine for you in 2024 and kindness to all OB mods.
To @drunk randoke - You never have to say, "We suck until we don't" ever again.
To @Alex Dunlap - No house or land repairs in 2024.
To Quinn Ewers - 700 yards passing and seven touchdown passes over the next two games.
To @Travis Galey - 2024 Promotion for Leeds.
To Chad Hastings - All the mini-helmets you're going to need in 2024.
To Anthony Hill - A defensive MVP performance in New Orleans that reminds us of Derrick Johnson in the 2001 Holiday Bowl.
To @HookemChargers - All your recruiting questions answered.
To @joeywa - A complete bill of health at some point in 2024 and a two-week paid-for-vacation in Omaha in June. We love you, man.
To Adonai Mitchell - Six straight playoff games, six straight playoff games with touchdown receptions.
To Anwar Richardson - A fantasy football championship next week. The perfect way for me to exit fantasy football for good is to see you win the league after all of my jinx attempts back in 2014.
To Bijan Robinson - A new head coach. I hate for anyone to lose their job over the holidays, but Arthur Smith treats Bijan like Jeff Fisher treated Vince Young. It's time to give Bijan someone who wants him and will figure out how to use him.
To Ja'Tavion Sanders - No less than a half-dozen targets in any game you play in burnt orange for the rest of your life. Oh, and the Mackey Award ... in 2024.
To Loreal Sarkisian - A gown made by Christian Siriano for the championship party in Houston.
To Steve Sarkisian - A two-year extension that pays you top 5 money in the SEC over the course of the next five seasons.
To @BlakeSkaggs - Either Xavier Worthy or Adonai Mitchell for your Chiefs next year in the Draft.
To @Suchomel - An extension for Mike Tomlin, easy traveling in 2024, lots of beer and a yearly subscription to your favorite Onlyfans account.
To T'Vondre Sweat - A first-round selection in the 2024 NFL Draft by the Dallas Cowboys.
To Rodney Terry - A spot in the Sweet 16 in a few months.
To Jordan Whittington - The ability to go back in time to see a Teddy Pendergrass concert in his prime and the best possible life post-college. You'll always be one of my top 5 favorite people I've covered at Orangebloods.
To Xavier Worthy - A clean bill of health for the next two weeks and a few passes that hit you in stride down the field.
No. 2 - Let's talk wide receivers (3.0) ...
Call me greedy, but I still think the Longhorns need some experience in the 2024 wide receiver unit.
That being said, the Longhorns have to have as much young wide receiver talent in the program right now as any program in the country.
Here's a list of the national recruiting rankings of every first- and second-year receiver that the Longhorns are currently scheduled to have on the roster next season.
Johntay Cook (So.) - 5 stars and No. 24 overall in 2023
Ryan Wingo (Fr.) - 5 stars and No. 24 overall in 2024
Ryan Niblett (RS Fr.) - High 4 stars and No. 55 overall in 2023
Deandre Moore (So.) - Mid 4 stars and No. 103 overall in 2023
Aaron Butler (Fr.) - Mid 4 stars and No. 115 overall in 2024
Parker Livingstone (Fr.) - Mid 4 stars and No. 151 overall in 2024
Freddie Dubose Jr. (Fr.) - Low 4 stars
As talented as the Longhorns are, they can't go into 2024 with the only truly experienced receiver being transfer Matthew Golden. It's not that the group of receivers on the roster doesn't have the talent to excel on the field next year, but I'm just not sure that a team that should be a playoff contender can afford to take the chance of hoping that the young talent doesn't skip a beat after leaning on three proven upperclassmen in 2023.
Even with the addition of Butler this weekend, I'm expecting the Longhorns to look for one more proven receiver addition to the current pile of newcomers.
Who will it be? I have no idea. Will it be anyone as good as Mitchell? Probably not.
No. 3 - Speaking of WRs ...
I thought we might take a look at the Washington trio of receivers with the Sugar Bowl less than a week away via the passing depth charts provided by PFF.
Rome Odunza
So, what does this tell us besides the fact that he does most of his work from the middle of the field over to the left sideline?
More than anything, it might tell us that this is where the game could be decided and that the pair of Ryan Watts and Malik Muhammad could be two of the most important players in this game that a lot of people aren't talking about.
Odunze loves to work that left sideline, having recorded as many targets/receptions down the field 10+ yards outside the numbers to the left than all other passes in all other areas of the field.
You know where Odunze is going to be. It's not rocket science.
Jalen McMillan
On one hand, McMillan has played in only five games and on the other hand ... DO YOU SEE HOW MANY TIMES HE'S BEEN TARGETED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD BEHIND THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE?
Fellas, he's the screen guy to watch out for. He has more targets in the middle of the field behind the line of scrimmage in 5 games than Odunze has in 13 games ... by 5 targets.
Like Odunze, he's not working the field much outside the right numbers, but his heat map is the short stuff in the middle of the field. (10 yards or less).
Jalynn Polk
Polk did a lot of the stuff that a healthy McMillan is back to doing with the Huskies, which means that he's back to being dangerous in the middle of the field on deep and intermediate routes.
If anyone is going to make a play outside the numbers to the right, it's probably Polk in the intermediate area between 10-20 yards. If we're talking third and long, Michael Penix will work the sidelines a couple of times per game in this direction.
He's most dangerous working the intermediate to deep areas of the middle of the field, as he's caught 65% of all throws between the numbers beyond 10+ yards. That's an eye-opener.
It feels like he's the player that the Texas safeties have to do a good job on, maybe more than anyone else they'll have responsibility for.
No. 4 - Flashback: The 2022 Alamo Bowl ...
I thought it was interesting to see what I wrote a year ago when these two teams played in San Antonio.
Honestly, it feels like a million years ago.
*****
There's a lot to process from Thursday night in a loss that leaves the Longhorns with the same 8-5 record that Texas Tech finished its season with.
* The offense clearly missed Bijan Robinson and Roschon Johnson. The running game was borderline pathetic without them.
* Texas wide receiver Xavier Worthy had an all-time stinker of a third quarter.
* The Texas defense seemed to tire in the second half and couldn't get Washington off the field when it mattered enough.
* Outside of a gift interception to start the game, the Texas defense didn't record any big plays - zero tackles for loss, zero sacks and zero created turnovers.
Basically, Washington was better than Texas. On offense, On defense. In coaching.
Texas wasn't remotely good enough and that's a statement that we have to stop writing as fact when Steve Sarkisian heads into his third season. Through two seasons, the Longhorns are 13-12 under Sarkisian and haven't won a bowl game.
It's not good enough. Not one element of what Texas did against the Huskies was good enough.
That's the bottom line, even if it tastes like Christmas turkey that has been sitting out on the counter for five days.
No. 5 - Prize Picks For the Sugar Bowl ...
I'm not guaranteeing anything, but these are three favorite plays for those of you interested in such things.
No. 6 - If I had to guess ...
In a perfect world, I think the Longhorns would like to add three more players through the portal, although I'm not sure who any of them will be.
We're talking perfect-world stuff. It's going to completely depend on who might still enter the Portal (both after the playoffs and in the spring), but here's how I would rank the urgency of the needs (JMO)
1. Defensive Tackle - Will any defensive tackles not named Walter Nolen come out to play?
2. Wide receivers - See section 2.
3. Linebackers - The linebacker position doesn't look a lot different than the wide receiver position (just call Anthony Hill the Johntay Cook of the position). If there's a starter out there, the Longhorns will look for him.
4. Tight end - This position will climb the list if Ja'Tavion Sanders departs.
No. 7 – A look at the Portal …
In case you were wondering, here's what the Rivals Top 15 list looks like through the weekend.
No. 8 – BUY or SELL …
(Buy) I mean ... Texas is about to win a national championship in two weeks.
(Buy) Sark's not done yet.
(Sell/Sell) I think Baxter is going to be treated as the lead guy and Blue will be the complementary back. Also, what the hell were you drinking when you asked the Home Alone question? One of the two is one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time and the other is a mere footnote in history.
(Sell) From Chryst to Holgo? I'm aiming higher if I'm Sark.
Ok, let's do these.
USC (Sell)
Oregon (Buy)
Colorado (Sell)
Michigan (Sell)
Oklahoma (Sell)
Florida St (Buy)
Bonus selections
Clemson (Sell)
Nebraska (Buy)
North Carolina (Sell)
Ole Miss (Buy)
Texas A&M (Sell)
Ohio State (sell)
(Sell) Three of the four are gone. Sanders is one I can't completely get a full pulse on.
(Sell) Three out of four and one national championship. Let's get one first and then we'll say wild stuff.
(Sell) 1. Sarkisian. 2. Choice 3. Banks
(Buy) I'm counting on it.
(Buy) 💯
(Sell) It would have potentially created disharmony in the locker room to get into the bidding war that Ole Miss just won. There are a lot of guys that led this team to the playoffs that might wonder why they aren't getting Nolen money and that would be a fair question.
(Buy) Definitely.
(Buy) I've written one book and it's a pain in the ass, but one day, I'll definitely do it.
(Sell) 🤮
(Buy) He'd be the best player on every field, just like Bussey.
No. 9 – Scattershooting on anything and everything …
... I haven't watched more than 5 minutes of a single bowl game at this point. I'll watch one Tuesday, I'm sure.
... Wait, Northwestern beat Utah?
... I'm completely unemotional about the Dallas Cowboys. I know what I'm watching and I know who they are. It makes the pain easy to deal with.
... Damn, Baltimore. That beating of San Francisco reminded me of when Bud put it on Wes Hightower at the end of Urban Cowboy.
... What the hell was that, Houston? You let Cleveland come in and take everything from you.
... Santa needs to give Patrick Mahomes some weapons in the Draft next year. Those dudes are woeful.
... The big winner of the draw between Liverpool/Arsenal? Man City.
... I watched zero NBA on Christmas Day. The NFL dominated.
... Imagine how pissed you would be to have Christmas Day tickets for the Sixers/Heat game, only to see Joel Embiid and Jimmy Butler sit out the game with injuries ...
... Yes, I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the 200th time in my life last night. Yes, it made me cry. It gets me every time.
... Loved The Iron Claw. Went and saw it on Saturday night and although I had some nitpicks (the Ric Flair character reminded me of Baby Billy in The Righteous Gemstones), the movie is very well done and was quite moving. For someone who lived and breathed the Von Erichs when I was a kid, I watched with a critical eye and still came away thinking I had watched one of the best movies of 2023. Zac Efron is ... dare I say ... Oscars nomination worthy.
... This is the best thing I saw on Christmas Day.
No. 10 - The List: Top 10 Christmas List ...
Let's update the list.
10. The Ref
9. The Apartment
8. A Christmas Story
7. Home Alone
6. Love Actually
5. Scrooged
4. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
3. Christmas Vacation
2. Elf
1. Die Hard
lulz .... just kidding.
1. It's a Wonderful Life
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