About fifteen years ago, in an introspective time, I offered to my wife the notion that I could take her dying way better that one of our four children (no grandkids at the time). We had had most of a life at least but the kids were just starting their adulthood and etc. etc. We were just sitting in the living room watching something on the tube and in response she gave me the weirdest, almost putout look. "Well...okay" the response. The evening went on. Nothing more to it. Then she died, after a 15 month battle, at 60, of pancreatic cancer. If what I said is a true assessment, then the prospect in reality, much less the actuality, of one of my children dying, is beyond grotesque and abhorrent. Unimaginable. I have something to measure that idea by now, and I don't wish that on anyone, even the worst. It occurs of course, but until you've experienced the death of a child, or your spouse of 37 years, just be aware that your imagination can't take you to that place.