Ketch's 10 Thoughts From the Weekend (The special moments that make it all worth it...)
- Thread starter Ketchum
- Start date
Excellent description of Little Nicky. A wacky but great premis with just enough hilarious moments to get you through the bulk of it. Kind of a theme for Sandler movies now that I write this. P.S. Love me some Punch Drunk Love!
Ketch those are really precious looking children. I understand why you are a proud dad.
Bedazzled in a princess dress and with a face covered in a combination of chocolate and make-up that had been applied an hour earlier out of mommy's purse without mommy's permission, my five-year daughter Haven beamed at me on Sunday with the type of smile that I wish I could have bottled up and breathe up forever.
Sunday wasn't Haven's first trip to Chez Zee, but life is different now that she's five. She's practically a woman it seems, even if she'll always be my little girl.
With her brother Hendrix distracted by his desire to sneak up on the piano player in the corner of the room without being seen by the piano player, Haven sat at eye-level by the thing she had decided more than 30 minutes prior was going to be hers ... the Chocolate Mousse. For those unaware of this particular dessert, the menu describes it as a "house made chocolate mousse served in a martini glass with fresh whipped cream and a chocolate swirl."
Thirty years earlier or so, I can remember going to Chez Zee with my mother and having the same desire to pounce on the same dessert in the same fashion, which means that on this particular day, Haven really was her father's daughter.
After twirling her spoon into the dessert and sufficiently covering it in the chocolate mousse, she took her time savoring the taste bud explosion.
Eyes bouncing with glee, she stopped enjoying her dessert just long enough to exclaim, "This is the best ever. I am never ... ever ... going to forget this."
Just 10 minutes earlier, both Haven and Hendrix had climbed on me in my chair to give me the kind of public affection to dad that I'm convinced is on borrowed time. It had occurred to me that I was in the midst of a special Father's Day memory, maybe the best I'd ever known, but Haven's declaration sealed the deal.
This was a moment, the kind you remember forever.
Fast-forward 20 minutes later and my mind was on Texas football and the subject of this weekend's column. Father's Day or no Father's Day, the show must go on, yet I found myself thinking about those moments at Chez Zee.
If Dustin McComas or anyone else that's thinking of becoming a parent ever asks me about being a parent, I'll be honest with them. Man, it's not just hard, it's life-changing in ways you can't anticipate. There will be days when you question your levels of sanity, but right at the moment when your mental rubber band stretches to the point of it seemingly snapping, something completely insignificant to the rest of the universe will justify it all.
In that way, it's similar to being a sports fan.
Over the course of the last decade or so, most of you have put up with all kinds of dysfunctional distress over Texas football. Having withstood coaching carelessness and ineptitude, along with enough numerous soul-destructing sports moments in-between to last a lifetime, Orangebloods everywhere have carried on without an ounce of quit in their hearts because the special forever moments that can be created when amazing serendipitous events occur are absolutely worth it.
Vince Young vs. USC. Jordan Shipley returning that kickoff for a touchdown against Oklahoma in 2008. Justin Tucker's kick against A&M.
These are the moments that that make whatever happens before and after as a sports fan worth it.
Perhaps the best thing one can say about Tom Herman through his first two years on the job at Texas is that he's already given Texas fans one of those special "remember where you were for the rest of your life" moments with that win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. For almost a decade, nothing much related to Texas football had generated the warm and fuzzies, but when a supposedly outmanned team shows up in a major bowl game and whips the other team's backside like it stole something out of your grandmother's purse, the kind of sports moment that will be remembered all the way to the grave can transpire.
Such emotional delight can be felt in those moments that either the sports moment itself or Haven blissfully tasting her chocolate mousse can be used as a proper metaphor for the other. When those moments occur, you never take them for granted. Live the moments. Breathe the moments. Inhale the moments.
In the blink of an eye, it won't be so cool to sit on dad's lap in public.
In the blink of an eye, the likes of Vince Young, Colt McCoy and Sam Ehlinger are no longer in the huddle.
These are the brief snapshots of time we live for and I was lucky enough to have one of them on Sunday.
No. 2 - My big takeaway on Jase McClellan's recruitment ...
In a situation where a national top prospect has been committed to one school for more than a year and ends up visiting that school's arch-rival, much like Jase McClellan did over the weekend, there are really three possible outcomes coming out of the visit.
a. The worst-case scenario is often the most likely, which is that the prospect leaves campus and almost immediately declares that his interest in the school he just visited was just high enough to survive the weekend, but any and all consideration towards the school he just visited was just that ... mere consideration. Nothing more.
b. The best-case scenario is often the least likely, which is the one that has the visiting prospect leaving campus and declaring all of his love to the arch-rival of his previous love, while immediately declaring that his new love will forever remain his true love.
Well, neither of those things happened.
Instead, we're watching option C, which is something that lives somewhere in the middle and is certainly what Texas was hoping for going into the weekend. Tom Herman and Co. (dare I say, Stan Drayton) have given McClellan something to think about. A lot to think about. While Oklahoma coaches flashed their insecurity on social media like a scorned teenager, the Longhorns rolled out the red carpet and let their strengths as an institution speak for itself - a world class education vs. well, whatever a degree from OU is ... a world-class city vs. well, Norman ... and a depth chart screaming out for his presence vs. one with a little less boisterous of a claim.
If you're Texas, you just keep recruiting your tail off and playing the situation like you're Kelly Leak, while letting OU channel it's inner-Tanner Boyle.
Let McClellan have all the time he needs to re-think the scud missile that has landed on his committed heart. The important thing is that the doubt has been created.
Just let it stir.
No. 3 - Checking boxes with Prince Dorbah this weekend ...
Let's see...
a. "Loved" the visit? Check.
b. Impressed the parents? Check.
c. Stressed the Texas culture following the visit? Check.
That's basically an A-B-C, 1-2-3 path for any prospect that is eventually going to commit to Texas. Considering we're talking about a top-five defensive prospect in the state in a year when the Longhorns don't yet have any elite in-state defensive prospects, the reporting coming out of Dorbah's visit is just what the doctor ordered.
No. 4 - Attaboy, Suchomel ...
You know what Jason Suchomel calls a Father's Day when he has updates on every kid that was in town on a monster recruiting weekend before any of his competitors have so much as started to get their first update from the weekend up, while his boss is having brunch with his kids in Northwest Austin?
Sunday. He just calls it Sunday.
Seriously, I wanted to take a moment to give our man a sincere pat on the back because his level of first-rate work and elite-level professionalism sometimes gets taken for granted around these parts, but there's a reason why everyone in the industry regards him in the highest esteem.
Even on a day when he was frustrated because a teenager hung up him, he still got the update he was looking for and did the damn thing.
No. 5 – BUY or SELL …
BUY or SELL: We win 11 this year?
(Sell) I'm just not 100-percent certain that this team has all of the pieces to win 11 games this season. Vegas has the over/under for Texas set at 9.5 and I'd probably take the over, but it you move it to 10.5, I'd probably take the under.
BUY or SELL: We land 2 of the 3 ... Bijan, Jase and another running back?
(Buy) One of the big boys and another.
BUY or SELL: Texas lands at least 2 commitments this year who are currently committed to other schools?
(Buy) History suggests that Herman will take a few pieces of cornbread from some other schools before it's all said and done.
BUY or SELL: Johnnie Johnson/Collin Johnson are the best father-son duo in the history of Texas football.
(Buy) Johnnie was so good that it's hard for me to go any other way. Has another top-50 all-time player at the school had a son that even warrants being in the discussion?
BUY or SELL: We get Chad Lindberg?
(Buy) Saul Goodman.
BUY or SELL: The effectiveness of negative recruiting is overrated in that it is just as likely to make recruits and their parents think that there is not enough good things to say about your program when you dive into bashing others?
(Buy) You know what people in recruiting call "negative recruiting"? They call it recruiting.
BUY or SELL: You remember Reggie Hemphill-Mapps?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: We, OB in general, GREATLY exaggerate the illegal payments involved in football recruiting?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: The 76ers would’ve been champs this year if they got past Toronto?
(Sell) I don't know that the Sixers would have definitely beaten the Bucks in a best of seven.
BUY or SELL: Despite two huge injuries this year, the Golden State Warriors will not go away and become "has beens" next season. They may not win it all, but they will still win a lot of games?
(Sell) The Warriors won't make the playoffs next year.
BUY or SELL: Anthony “Brow” Davis will be the best player LeBron has ever played with when LeBron's career is over?
(Buy) With all due respect to Kyrie Irving, I'm not sure it's especially close. Davis will be a candidate for NBA MVP in 2020 and we've never said that about any player he's ever played with.
No. 6 - Rock chalk, Woodland ...
I'll be honest, I was rooting against Gary Woodland all weekend.
As someone that always roots for the "greats" to win majors, I found myself pulling hard for Brooks Koepka, who was only chasing his third straight US Open title, but by Saturday afternoon, it was pretty hard to begrudge Woodland, who made a number of saves on the back nine that made you tip your metaphorical cap.
With Koepka on his heels, Woodland never blinked on Sunday, even when it felt like he might. Every time trouble presented itself, he calmly dealt with. Hell, the man birdied 18 on Sunday when he was carefully aiming for a safe par. It was just his weekend.
He deserved it.
Meanwhile, Koepka's last six finishes at majors look like this: 2nd, 1st, 2nd, 1st, 39th, 1st.
No. 7 - Where KD goes from here ...
A week ago at this very moment. the stage seemed to be set for Kevin Durant to take his place in NBA history to an even higher level.
A week later, his lower right leg has been shredded to the point that we might not see him on a basketball court for at least a year (and perhaps longer), while we might never see the all-time player at his apex that he was just six weeks ago.
The 30-year old Durant will eventually be a 32-year old Durant when we see him attempt to retake his claim to the NBA player throne, but it's hard not to wonder if we're going to be watching the basketball equivalent of a one-armed Jamie Lannister, a basketball player with occasional moments of greatness, but someone that will never be "that guy" ever again.
For the last 12 months, there's been so much focus on where Durant would go following this season, but now that we're here and his situation is what it is, I have no idea where to begin the discussion of what he should do. Part of me thinks he should sign with Golden State and go for the ultimate redemptive story and the other part of me says that I wouldn't want to be within 100 miles of the Golden State medical team for the rest of my life.
It almost feels like a rhetorical question at this point.
I suppose I'd lean on the advice that I'd give anyone, especially when competitive basketball isn't in the equation.
Just go where you'll be happy, KD. Personal happiness should absolutely be at a premium in the context of his current situation.
No. 8 – Eternal Randomness of the Spotty Sports Mind …
... The US soccer team has my full attention. You go, girls!
... The entire NBA feels like it's in one of those free-for-alls since the end of the NBA Finals, like when crazy moms waited outside of toy stores for Cabbage Patch Kids back in the day. I get the feeling that the fireworks and fighting for toys has just begun.
... Anthony Davis is going to finally be the superstar he was meant to be in L.A.
... This trade has a chance to be great for Lonzo Ball, even if his old man hates it.
... I don't think enough appreciation has been given over what has to be the most catastrophic seven quarters of basketball that has ever been seen in the sport. From the first quarter in game five to the third quarter of game six, Golden State lost two of the best players in the sport to injuries that not only cost the team a championship, but possibly destroyed the entire future of the franchise in the process. I can't think of anything like it ever occurring. Ever. In any sport.
... I don't exactly know what to say about Tyson Fury other than he's incredibly entertaining and watchable. I'm just not sure how to make sense of it all.
... The Braves beat my Phillies up so bad on Sunday that I'd rather not see them again on the schedule for a while. Too bad, though, as the two teams play each other in a series over the Fourth of July. Good times.
... Leo Messi should have stayed retired from international soccer.
... It's not that OJ Simpson is on Twitter that bothers me as much as how many people I know and consider friends were so quick to follow him.
No. 9 - The List: Top 10 worst Adam Sandler movies ...
Let me begin by flat out blaming my wife for this. On Friday, I stammered into his office for some sort of conversation and while she talked on the phone with her mom, something called "Murder Mystery," starring Adam Sander and Jennifer Aniston, played in the background.
In the movie, Sandler sports an awful mustache. Coupled with an obvious attraction to Aniston (I have a pulse), I started watching. And kept watching. Before, I knew it, I had watched the entire wretched mess.
I had so many questions.
Is this where Aniston's career resides? Did she owe him a favor? How did she agree to this? Whose idea was the mustache? As bad as it was, is this the best Sandler movie in a decade?
Then I went to his IMDb page to see when he'd last made a movie that I would freely watch if I stumbled it across it on TV. The answer? Spanglish ... in 2004.
I began dating my wife in 2005, which means that I haven't seen a good movie from Sandler since Vince Young's light switch flipped at Texas during his sophomore season.
Yet, while the movies have been mostly terrible, I feel like I keep giving Sandler chances like he's a crazy family member of mine ... always hopeful that the best of him will show itself, even if it's been 15 years since the best of him has showed itself.
Therefore, in honor of another wasted two hours, I give you the 10 worst Adam Sander movies I've personally seen, while hoping peak Sandler will reveal himself at some point.
(Note: Little Nicky is a terrible movie that is a guilty pleasure of mine, so it doesn't make the list. Don't you dare judge me.)
10. Blended
9. Just Go With It
8. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
7. Pizels
6. Grown Ups
5. That's My Boy
4. The Do-Over
3. The Ridiculous 6
2. I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry
1. Jack and Jill
No. 10 – And Finally ...
This will be the last column you'll see from me for possibly a week or two, as I prepare to head off for a little vacation time at some point later this week. You kids be good for @Suchomel while I'm gone.
I loved You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. It’s a stupid comedy, but funny.
Although, I will admit, while I loved watching “Sloan” from Entourage in the movie, her acting was god awful.
Although, I will admit, while I loved watching “Sloan” from Entourage in the movie, her acting was god awful.
There are truly a few epic scenes in PDL.
The one where he rages at Phillip S. Hoffman is an all-timer.
Indeed! By contrast, he does tender scenes really well. I really do miss PSH. A top 10 of his work would be really interesting...
The audience on rotten tomatoes have the movie 62%. Movie critics are basically useless and will never see this type of movie favorably. I can’t believe I’ve had a 6 message conversation “defending” grown ups.
"While Oklahoma coaches flashed their insecurity on social media like a scorned teenager, the Longhorns rolled out the red carpet and let their strengths as an institution speak for itself..."
@Ketchum, can you elaborate on the OU coaches social media parts? Also, which teenager hung up on @Suchomel? Sorry if these have been discussed previously; I've not been on the board much for a few days.
@Ketchum, can you elaborate on the OU coaches social media parts? Also, which teenager hung up on @Suchomel? Sorry if these have been discussed previously; I've not been on the board much for a few days.
This review says it all.
******
The last time he graced the big screen, in Funny People, Adam Sandler played a literally sick comic who hates not just himself but Adam Sandler movies too - yep, all those high-grossing, low-grade yuk fests that had made him very rich. Now, after that brief time out for a breath of honesty, Adam is back to lining his pockets again. No need to dwell on the thing, except to say that the grown-ups who will love Grown Ups must also love this:
- Five relatively smart comedians - Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade and (okay, cut me some slack here) Rob Schneider - dumbing way down to play the usual gaggle of middle-aged goofballs, lobbing gags they surely disdain at an audience they probably despise while reserving their own laughter for that off-camera dash all the way to the bank.
- Said goofballs gather their families for a reunion in a rustic cottage by a quiet lake, where they soon get down to a game of "arrow roulette": Shoot the pointy thing straight up in the air, watch it plunge down to pierce an unsuspecting foot. Repeat.
- Foot humour redux. An old, fat black woman removes her sensible brogues to reveal a vast outcropping of fungal growth, prompting this escalating trio of jibes: (1) "I didn't know the Elephant Man lived in your shoe"; (2) "Would you like bunion rings with that?"; (3) "Toe J. Simpson."
- A requisite climb up the anatomy for the always popular fart joke, the blast provided by the same old, fat black woman. Blame it on the dog. Repeat.
- A deft switch to the urinary tract. A guy takes a leak from a canoe; other guys comment on the sad decline of his once-potent stream. Later, all five guys take their sad declines to a swimming pool, where their collective relief stains the water (and their comedy) a Crayola shade of blue.
- Fat humour redux. A tubby fellow on water skis signals the driver of the boat to gun it. Engine roars, boat doesn't move.
- Close-up of dog poo. Medium shot of man's face falling in slow motion toward the dog poo. Splat. Repeat.
- More anatomical delights. Aforementioned middle-aged goofballs peek longingly at the taut behind of a teenage girl. The scene requires the peepers to feel guilty, clearly a feat of acting far beyond the range of this group.
- The comely wife of one middle-aged goofball casually exposes a breast to feed her thirsty son. Her thirsty four-year old son. Repeat and repeat and repeat.
- The certain knowledge that, in the eyes of the grown-ups who made Grown Ups, we at the box office are that four-year-old kid, permanently infantilized and indiscriminately hungry.
I like Adam Sandler overall; and I really like movies. I’m proud to say that I went O for 10 in terms of not having seen any of the 10 movies Ketch listed !
I didn't know Rob Schneider had family on this site. Welcome!
Ketch - it is never on borrowed time. my kids are 17 (son) 15 (daughter). We went to the Jersey Shore and while the sun was out beaming, the winds were blowing at 25mph. we go every year for father's day. this year sucked. My daughter, who is a typical teenage pain in the ass, filled with attitude and sass, came over and gave me a huge hug when we made the call to leave. Those moments never end, they just change. She will always be your little girl even when older...as I discovered with mine this past weekend.
Can you please tell me what Kapler is thinking picking up infielders and outfielders when we need pitching in a desperate way?
@Ketchum Ten Thoughts is always one of the better reads of the week! This one was special! Enough to leave a smile on any Dad's or Longhorn fan's face on a Monday morning after Dad's Day. Always appreciate the efforts of @Suchomel to give us first class coverage of recruiting! Enjoy your vacation and we'll miss you!
grown ups is terrible. zero chance chuck and larry should be on that list. it's below average. the rest of those are garbage
Sorry Ketch, I have to judge you on Little Nicky, its one of the worst ideas put on film
Bedazzled in a princess dress and with a face covered in a combination of chocolate and make-up that had been applied an hour earlier out of mommy's purse without mommy's permission, my five-year daughter Haven beamed at me on Sunday with the type of smile that I wish I could have bottled up and breathe up forever.
Sunday wasn't Haven's first trip to Chez Zee, but life is different now that she's five. She's practically a woman it seems, even if she'll always be my little girl.
With her brother Hendrix distracted by his desire to sneak up on the piano player in the corner of the room without being seen by the piano player, Haven sat at eye-level by the thing she had decided more than 30 minutes prior was going to be hers ... the Chocolate Mousse. For those unaware of this particular dessert, the menu describes it as a "house made chocolate mousse served in a martini glass with fresh whipped cream and a chocolate swirl."
Thirty years earlier or so, I can remember going to Chez Zee with my mother and having the same desire to pounce on the same dessert in the same fashion, which means that on this particular day, Haven really was her father's daughter.
After twirling her spoon into the dessert and sufficiently covering it in the chocolate mousse, she took her time savoring the taste bud explosion.
Eyes bouncing with glee, she stopped enjoying her dessert just long enough to exclaim, "This is the best ever. I am never ... ever ... going to forget this."
Just 10 minutes earlier, both Haven and Hendrix had climbed on me in my chair to give me the kind of public affection to dad that I'm convinced is on borrowed time. It had occurred to me that I was in the midst of a special Father's Day memory, maybe the best I'd ever known, but Haven's declaration sealed the deal.
This was a moment, the kind you remember forever.
Fast-forward 20 minutes later and my mind was on Texas football and the subject of this weekend's column. Father's Day or no Father's Day, the show must go on, yet I found myself thinking about those moments at Chez Zee.
If Dustin McComas or anyone else that's thinking of becoming a parent ever asks me about being a parent, I'll be honest with them. Man, it's not just hard, it's life-changing in ways you can't anticipate. There will be days when you question your levels of sanity, but right at the moment when your mental rubber band stretches to the point of it seemingly snapping, something completely insignificant to the rest of the universe will justify it all.
In that way, it's similar to being a sports fan.
Over the course of the last decade or so, most of you have put up with all kinds of dysfunctional distress over Texas football. Having withstood coaching carelessness and ineptitude, along with enough numerous soul-destructing sports moments in-between to last a lifetime, Orangebloods everywhere have carried on without an ounce of quit in their hearts because the special forever moments that can be created when amazing serendipitous events occur are absolutely worth it.
Vince Young vs. USC. Jordan Shipley returning that kickoff for a touchdown against Oklahoma in 2008. Justin Tucker's kick against A&M.
These are the moments that that make whatever happens before and after as a sports fan worth it.
Perhaps the best thing one can say about Tom Herman through his first two years on the job at Texas is that he's already given Texas fans one of those special "remember where you were for the rest of your life" moments with that win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. For almost a decade, nothing much related to Texas football had generated the warm and fuzzies, but when a supposedly outmanned team shows up in a major bowl game and whips the other team's backside like it stole something out of your grandmother's purse, the kind of sports moment that will be remembered all the way to the grave can transpire.
Such emotional delight can be felt in those moments that either the sports moment itself or Haven blissfully tasting her chocolate mousse can be used as a proper metaphor for the other. When those moments occur, you never take them for granted. Live the moments. Breathe the moments. Inhale the moments.
In the blink of an eye, it won't be so cool to sit on dad's lap in public.
In the blink of an eye, the likes of Vince Young, Colt McCoy and Sam Ehlinger are no longer in the huddle.
These are the brief snapshots of time we live for and I was lucky enough to have one of them on Sunday.
No. 2 - My big takeaway on Jase McClellan's recruitment ...
In a situation where a national top prospect has been committed to one school for more than a year and ends up visiting that school's arch-rival, much like Jase McClellan did over the weekend, there are really three possible outcomes coming out of the visit.
a. The worst-case scenario is often the most likely, which is that the prospect leaves campus and almost immediately declares that his interest in the school he just visited was just high enough to survive the weekend, but any and all consideration towards the school he just visited was just that ... mere consideration. Nothing more.
b. The best-case scenario is often the least likely, which is the one that has the visiting prospect leaving campus and declaring all of his love to the arch-rival of his previous love, while immediately declaring that his new love will forever remain his true love.
Well, neither of those things happened.
Instead, we're watching option C, which is something that lives somewhere in the middle and is certainly what Texas was hoping for going into the weekend. Tom Herman and Co. (dare I say, Stan Drayton) have given McClellan something to think about. A lot to think about. While Oklahoma coaches flashed their insecurity on social media like a scorned teenager, the Longhorns rolled out the red carpet and let their strengths as an institution speak for itself - a world class education vs. well, whatever a degree from OU is ... a world-class city vs. well, Norman ... and a depth chart screaming out for his presence vs. one with a little less boisterous of a claim.
If you're Texas, you just keep recruiting your tail off and playing the situation like you're Kelly Leak, while letting OU channel it's inner-Tanner Boyle.
Let McClellan have all the time he needs to re-think the scud missile that has landed on his committed heart. The important thing is that the doubt has been created.
Just let it stir.
No. 3 - Checking boxes with Prince Dorbah this weekend ...
Let's see...
a. "Loved" the visit? Check.
b. Impressed the parents? Check.
c. Stressed the Texas culture following the visit? Check.
That's basically an A-B-C, 1-2-3 path for any prospect that is eventually going to commit to Texas. Considering we're talking about a top-five defensive prospect in the state in a year when the Longhorns don't yet have any elite in-state defensive prospects, the reporting coming out of Dorbah's visit is just what the doctor ordered.
No. 4 - Attaboy, Suchomel ...
You know what Jason Suchomel calls a Father's Day when he has updates on every kid that was in town on a monster recruiting weekend before any of his competitors have so much as started to get their first update from the weekend up, while his boss is having brunch with his kids in Northwest Austin?
Sunday. He just calls it Sunday.
Seriously, I wanted to take a moment to give our man a sincere pat on the back because his level of first-rate work and elite-level professionalism sometimes gets taken for granted around these parts, but there's a reason why everyone in the industry regards him in the highest esteem.
Even on a day when he was frustrated because a teenager hung up him, he still got the update he was looking for and did the damn thing.
No. 5 – BUY or SELL …
BUY or SELL: We win 11 this year?
(Sell) I'm just not 100-percent certain that this team has all of the pieces to win 11 games this season. Vegas has the over/under for Texas set at 9.5 and I'd probably take the over, but it you move it to 10.5, I'd probably take the under.
BUY or SELL: We land 2 of the 3 ... Bijan, Jase and another running back?
(Buy) One of the big boys and another.
BUY or SELL: Texas lands at least 2 commitments this year who are currently committed to other schools?
(Buy) History suggests that Herman will take a few pieces of cornbread from some other schools before it's all said and done.
BUY or SELL: Johnnie Johnson/Collin Johnson are the best father-son duo in the history of Texas football.
(Buy) Johnnie was so good that it's hard for me to go any other way. Has another top-50 all-time player at the school had a son that even warrants being in the discussion?
BUY or SELL: We get Chad Lindberg?
(Buy) Saul Goodman.
BUY or SELL: The effectiveness of negative recruiting is overrated in that it is just as likely to make recruits and their parents think that there is not enough good things to say about your program when you dive into bashing others?
(Buy) You know what people in recruiting call "negative recruiting"? They call it recruiting.
BUY or SELL: You remember Reggie Hemphill-Mapps?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: We, OB in general, GREATLY exaggerate the illegal payments involved in football recruiting?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: The 76ers would’ve been champs this year if they got past Toronto?
(Sell) I don't know that the Sixers would have definitely beaten the Bucks in a best of seven.
BUY or SELL: Despite two huge injuries this year, the Golden State Warriors will not go away and become "has beens" next season. They may not win it all, but they will still win a lot of games?
(Sell) The Warriors won't make the playoffs next year.
BUY or SELL: Anthony “Brow” Davis will be the best player LeBron has ever played with when LeBron's career is over?
(Buy) With all due respect to Kyrie Irving, I'm not sure it's especially close. Davis will be a candidate for NBA MVP in 2020 and we've never said that about any player he's ever played with.
No. 6 - Rock chalk, Woodland ...
I'll be honest, I was rooting against Gary Woodland all weekend.
As someone that always roots for the "greats" to win majors, I found myself pulling hard for Brooks Koepka, who was only chasing his third straight US Open title, but by Saturday afternoon, it was pretty hard to begrudge Woodland, who made a number of saves on the back nine that made you tip your metaphorical cap.
With Koepka on his heels, Woodland never blinked on Sunday, even when it felt like he might. Every time trouble presented itself, he calmly dealt with. Hell, the man birdied 18 on Sunday when he was carefully aiming for a safe par. It was just his weekend.
He deserved it.
Meanwhile, Koepka's last six finishes at majors look like this: 2nd, 1st, 2nd, 1st, 39th, 1st.
No. 7 - Where KD goes from here ...
A week ago at this very moment. the stage seemed to be set for Kevin Durant to take his place in NBA history to an even higher level.
A week later, his lower right leg has been shredded to the point that we might not see him on a basketball court for at least a year (and perhaps longer), while we might never see the all-time player at his apex that he was just six weeks ago.
The 30-year old Durant will eventually be a 32-year old Durant when we see him attempt to retake his claim to the NBA player throne, but it's hard not to wonder if we're going to be watching the basketball equivalent of a one-armed Jamie Lannister, a basketball player with occasional moments of greatness, but someone that will never be "that guy" ever again.
For the last 12 months, there's been so much focus on where Durant would go following this season, but now that we're here and his situation is what it is, I have no idea where to begin the discussion of what he should do. Part of me thinks he should sign with Golden State and go for the ultimate redemptive story and the other part of me says that I wouldn't want to be within 100 miles of the Golden State medical team for the rest of my life.
It almost feels like a rhetorical question at this point.
I suppose I'd lean on the advice that I'd give anyone, especially when competitive basketball isn't in the equation.
Just go where you'll be happy, KD. Personal happiness should absolutely be at a premium in the context of his current situation.
No. 8 – Eternal Randomness of the Spotty Sports Mind …
... The US soccer team has my full attention. You go, girls!
... The entire NBA feels like it's in one of those free-for-alls since the end of the NBA Finals, like when crazy moms waited outside of toy stores for Cabbage Patch Kids back in the day. I get the feeling that the fireworks and fighting for toys has just begun.
... Anthony Davis is going to finally be the superstar he was meant to be in L.A.
... This trade has a chance to be great for Lonzo Ball, even if his old man hates it.
... I don't think enough appreciation has been given over what has to be the most catastrophic seven quarters of basketball that has ever been seen in the sport. From the first quarter in game five to the third quarter of game six, Golden State lost two of the best players in the sport to injuries that not only cost the team a championship, but possibly destroyed the entire future of the franchise in the process. I can't think of anything like it ever occurring. Ever. In any sport.
... I don't exactly know what to say about Tyson Fury other than he's incredibly entertaining and watchable. I'm just not sure how to make sense of it all.
... The Braves beat my Phillies up so bad on Sunday that I'd rather not see them again on the schedule for a while. Too bad, though, as the two teams play each other in a series over the Fourth of July. Good times.
... Leo Messi should have stayed retired from international soccer.
... It's not that OJ Simpson is on Twitter that bothers me as much as how many people I know and consider friends were so quick to follow him.
No. 9 - The List: Top 10 worst Adam Sandler movies ...
Let me begin by flat out blaming my wife for this. On Friday, I stammered into his office for some sort of conversation and while she talked on the phone with her mom, something called "Murder Mystery," starring Adam Sander and Jennifer Aniston, played in the background.
In the movie, Sandler sports an awful mustache. Coupled with an obvious attraction to Aniston (I have a pulse), I started watching. And kept watching. Before, I knew it, I had watched the entire wretched mess.
I had so many questions.
Is this where Aniston's career resides? Did she owe him a favor? How did she agree to this? Whose idea was the mustache? As bad as it was, is this the best Sandler movie in a decade?
Then I went to his IMDb page to see when he'd last made a movie that I would freely watch if I stumbled it across it on TV. The answer? Spanglish ... in 2004.
I began dating my wife in 2005, which means that I haven't seen a good movie from Sandler since Vince Young's light switch flipped at Texas during his sophomore season.
Yet, while the movies have been mostly terrible, I feel like I keep giving Sandler chances like he's a crazy family member of mine ... always hopeful that the best of him will show itself, even if it's been 15 years since the best of him has showed itself.
Therefore, in honor of another wasted two hours, I give you the 10 worst Adam Sander movies I've personally seen, while hoping peak Sandler will reveal himself at some point.
(Note: Little Nicky is a terrible movie that is a guilty pleasure of mine, so it doesn't make the list. Don't you dare judge me.)
10. Blended
9. Just Go With It
8. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
7. Pizels
6. Grown Ups
5. That's My Boy
4. The Do-Over
3. The Ridiculous 6
2. I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry
1. Jack and Jill
No. 10 – And Finally ...
This will be the last column you'll see from me for possibly a week or two, as I prepare to head off for a little vacation time at some point later this week. You kids be good for @Suchomel while I'm gone.
The wife and I watched it too, Saturday night. It was, dare I say, "cute". Great write up. I concur wholeheartedly about @Suchomel...his info is always so insightful. Have a great week gents.
Not important. Not the first time and not the last time for sure.
1. I'm super fired up for womens' soccer - they are real fun to watch and root for.
Bedazzled in a princess dress and with a face covered in a combination of chocolate and make-up that had been applied an hour earlier out of mommy's purse without mommy's permission, my five-year daughter Haven beamed at me on Sunday with the type of smile that I wish I could have bottled up and breathe up forever.
Sunday wasn't Haven's first trip to Chez Zee, but life is different now that she's five. She's practically a woman it seems, even if she'll always be my little girl.
With her brother Hendrix distracted by his desire to sneak up on the piano player in the corner of the room without being seen by the piano player, Haven sat at eye-level by the thing she had decided more than 30 minutes prior was going to be hers ... the Chocolate Mousse. For those unaware of this particular dessert, the menu describes it as a "house made chocolate mousse served in a martini glass with fresh whipped cream and a chocolate swirl."
Thirty years earlier or so, I can remember going to Chez Zee with my mother and having the same desire to pounce on the same dessert in the same fashion, which means that on this particular day, Haven really was her father's daughter.
After twirling her spoon into the dessert and sufficiently covering it in the chocolate mousse, she took her time savoring the taste bud explosion.
Eyes bouncing with glee, she stopped enjoying her dessert just long enough to exclaim, "This is the best ever. I am never ... ever ... going to forget this."
Just 10 minutes earlier, both Haven and Hendrix had climbed on me in my chair to give me the kind of public affection to dad that I'm convinced is on borrowed time. It had occurred to me that I was in the midst of a special Father's Day memory, maybe the best I'd ever known, but Haven's declaration sealed the deal.
This was a moment, the kind you remember forever.
Fast-forward 20 minutes later and my mind was on Texas football and the subject of this weekend's column. Father's Day or no Father's Day, the show must go on, yet I found myself thinking about those moments at Chez Zee.
If Dustin McComas or anyone else that's thinking of becoming a parent ever asks me about being a parent, I'll be honest with them. Man, it's not just hard, it's life-changing in ways you can't anticipate. There will be days when you question your levels of sanity, but right at the moment when your mental rubber band stretches to the point of it seemingly snapping, something completely insignificant to the rest of the universe will justify it all.
In that way, it's similar to being a sports fan.
Over the course of the last decade or so, most of you have put up with all kinds of dysfunctional distress over Texas football. Having withstood coaching carelessness and ineptitude, along with enough numerous soul-destructing sports moments in-between to last a lifetime, Orangebloods everywhere have carried on without an ounce of quit in their hearts because the special forever moments that can be created when amazing serendipitous events occur are absolutely worth it.
Vince Young vs. USC. Jordan Shipley returning that kickoff for a touchdown against Oklahoma in 2008. Justin Tucker's kick against A&M.
These are the moments that that make whatever happens before and after as a sports fan worth it.
Perhaps the best thing one can say about Tom Herman through his first two years on the job at Texas is that he's already given Texas fans one of those special "remember where you were for the rest of your life" moments with that win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. For almost a decade, nothing much related to Texas football had generated the warm and fuzzies, but when a supposedly outmanned team shows up in a major bowl game and whips the other team's backside like it stole something out of your grandmother's purse, the kind of sports moment that will be remembered all the way to the grave can transpire.
Such emotional delight can be felt in those moments that either the sports moment itself or Haven blissfully tasting her chocolate mousse can be used as a proper metaphor for the other. When those moments occur, you never take them for granted. Live the moments. Breathe the moments. Inhale the moments.
In the blink of an eye, it won't be so cool to sit on dad's lap in public.
In the blink of an eye, the likes of Vince Young, Colt McCoy and Sam Ehlinger are no longer in the huddle.
These are the brief snapshots of time we live for and I was lucky enough to have one of them on Sunday.
No. 2 - My big takeaway on Jase McClellan's recruitment ...
In a situation where a national top prospect has been committed to one school for more than a year and ends up visiting that school's arch-rival, much like Jase McClellan did over the weekend, there are really three possible outcomes coming out of the visit.
a. The worst-case scenario is often the most likely, which is that the prospect leaves campus and almost immediately declares that his interest in the school he just visited was just high enough to survive the weekend, but any and all consideration towards the school he just visited was just that ... mere consideration. Nothing more.
b. The best-case scenario is often the least likely, which is the one that has the visiting prospect leaving campus and declaring all of his love to the arch-rival of his previous love, while immediately declaring that his new love will forever remain his true love.
Well, neither of those things happened.
Instead, we're watching option C, which is something that lives somewhere in the middle and is certainly what Texas was hoping for going into the weekend. Tom Herman and Co. (dare I say, Stan Drayton) have given McClellan something to think about. A lot to think about. While Oklahoma coaches flashed their insecurity on social media like a scorned teenager, the Longhorns rolled out the red carpet and let their strengths as an institution speak for itself - a world class education vs. well, whatever a degree from OU is ... a world-class city vs. well, Norman ... and a depth chart screaming out for his presence vs. one with a little less boisterous of a claim.
If you're Texas, you just keep recruiting your tail off and playing the situation like you're Kelly Leak, while letting OU channel it's inner-Tanner Boyle.
Let McClellan have all the time he needs to re-think the scud missile that has landed on his committed heart. The important thing is that the doubt has been created.
Just let it stir.
No. 3 - Checking boxes with Prince Dorbah this weekend ...
Let's see...
a. "Loved" the visit? Check.
b. Impressed the parents? Check.
c. Stressed the Texas culture following the visit? Check.
That's basically an A-B-C, 1-2-3 path for any prospect that is eventually going to commit to Texas. Considering we're talking about a top-five defensive prospect in the state in a year when the Longhorns don't yet have any elite in-state defensive prospects, the reporting coming out of Dorbah's visit is just what the doctor ordered.
No. 4 - Attaboy, Suchomel ...
You know what Jason Suchomel calls a Father's Day when he has updates on every kid that was in town on a monster recruiting weekend before any of his competitors have so much as started to get their first update from the weekend up, while his boss is having brunch with his kids in Northwest Austin?
Sunday. He just calls it Sunday.
Seriously, I wanted to take a moment to give our man a sincere pat on the back because his level of first-rate work and elite-level professionalism sometimes gets taken for granted around these parts, but there's a reason why everyone in the industry regards him in the highest esteem.
Even on a day when he was frustrated because a teenager hung up him, he still got the update he was looking for and did the damn thing.
No. 5 – BUY or SELL …
BUY or SELL: We win 11 this year?
(Sell) I'm just not 100-percent certain that this team has all of the pieces to win 11 games this season. Vegas has the over/under for Texas set at 9.5 and I'd probably take the over, but it you move it to 10.5, I'd probably take the under.
BUY or SELL: We land 2 of the 3 ... Bijan, Jase and another running back?
(Buy) One of the big boys and another.
BUY or SELL: Texas lands at least 2 commitments this year who are currently committed to other schools?
(Buy) History suggests that Herman will take a few pieces of cornbread from some other schools before it's all said and done.
BUY or SELL: Johnnie Johnson/Collin Johnson are the best father-son duo in the history of Texas football.
(Buy) Johnnie was so good that it's hard for me to go any other way. Has another top-50 all-time player at the school had a son that even warrants being in the discussion?
BUY or SELL: We get Chad Lindberg?
(Buy) Saul Goodman.
BUY or SELL: The effectiveness of negative recruiting is overrated in that it is just as likely to make recruits and their parents think that there is not enough good things to say about your program when you dive into bashing others?
(Buy) You know what people in recruiting call "negative recruiting"? They call it recruiting.
BUY or SELL: You remember Reggie Hemphill-Mapps?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: We, OB in general, GREATLY exaggerate the illegal payments involved in football recruiting?
(Buy) Barely.
BUY or SELL: The 76ers would’ve been champs this year if they got past Toronto?
(Sell) I don't know that the Sixers would have definitely beaten the Bucks in a best of seven.
BUY or SELL: Despite two huge injuries this year, the Golden State Warriors will not go away and become "has beens" next season. They may not win it all, but they will still win a lot of games?
(Sell) The Warriors won't make the playoffs next year.
BUY or SELL: Anthony “Brow” Davis will be the best player LeBron has ever played with when LeBron's career is over?
(Buy) With all due respect to Kyrie Irving, I'm not sure it's especially close. Davis will be a candidate for NBA MVP in 2020 and we've never said that about any player he's ever played with.
No. 6 - Rock chalk, Woodland ...
I'll be honest, I was rooting against Gary Woodland all weekend.
As someone that always roots for the "greats" to win majors, I found myself pulling hard for Brooks Koepka, who was only chasing his third straight US Open title, but by Saturday afternoon, it was pretty hard to begrudge Woodland, who made a number of saves on the back nine that made you tip your metaphorical cap.
With Koepka on his heels, Woodland never blinked on Sunday, even when it felt like he might. Every time trouble presented itself, he calmly dealt with. Hell, the man birdied 18 on Sunday when he was carefully aiming for a safe par. It was just his weekend.
He deserved it.
Meanwhile, Koepka's last six finishes at majors look like this: 2nd, 1st, 2nd, 1st, 39th, 1st.
No. 7 - Where KD goes from here ...
A week ago at this very moment. the stage seemed to be set for Kevin Durant to take his place in NBA history to an even higher level.
A week later, his lower right leg has been shredded to the point that we might not see him on a basketball court for at least a year (and perhaps longer), while we might never see the all-time player at his apex that he was just six weeks ago.
The 30-year old Durant will eventually be a 32-year old Durant when we see him attempt to retake his claim to the NBA player throne, but it's hard not to wonder if we're going to be watching the basketball equivalent of a one-armed Jamie Lannister, a basketball player with occasional moments of greatness, but someone that will never be "that guy" ever again.
For the last 12 months, there's been so much focus on where Durant would go following this season, but now that we're here and his situation is what it is, I have no idea where to begin the discussion of what he should do. Part of me thinks he should sign with Golden State and go for the ultimate redemptive story and the other part of me says that I wouldn't want to be within 100 miles of the Golden State medical team for the rest of my life.
It almost feels like a rhetorical question at this point.
I suppose I'd lean on the advice that I'd give anyone, especially when competitive basketball isn't in the equation.
Just go where you'll be happy, KD. Personal happiness should absolutely be at a premium in the context of his current situation.
No. 8 – Eternal Randomness of the Spotty Sports Mind …
... The US soccer team has my full attention. You go, girls!
... The entire NBA feels like it's in one of those free-for-alls since the end of the NBA Finals, like when crazy moms waited outside of toy stores for Cabbage Patch Kids back in the day. I get the feeling that the fireworks and fighting for toys has just begun.
... Anthony Davis is going to finally be the superstar he was meant to be in L.A.
... This trade has a chance to be great for Lonzo Ball, even if his old man hates it.
... I don't think enough appreciation has been given over what has to be the most catastrophic seven quarters of basketball that has ever been seen in the sport. From the first quarter in game five to the third quarter of game six, Golden State lost two of the best players in the sport to injuries that not only cost the team a championship, but possibly destroyed the entire future of the franchise in the process. I can't think of anything like it ever occurring. Ever. In any sport.
... I don't exactly know what to say about Tyson Fury other than he's incredibly entertaining and watchable. I'm just not sure how to make sense of it all.
... The Braves beat my Phillies up so bad on Sunday that I'd rather not see them again on the schedule for a while. Too bad, though, as the two teams play each other in a series over the Fourth of July. Good times.
... Leo Messi should have stayed retired from international soccer.
... It's not that OJ Simpson is on Twitter that bothers me as much as how many people I know and consider friends were so quick to follow him.
No. 9 - The List: Top 10 worst Adam Sandler movies ...
Let me begin by flat out blaming my wife for this. On Friday, I stammered into his office for some sort of conversation and while she talked on the phone with her mom, something called "Murder Mystery," starring Adam Sander and Jennifer Aniston, played in the background.
In the movie, Sandler sports an awful mustache. Coupled with an obvious attraction to Aniston (I have a pulse), I started watching. And kept watching. Before, I knew it, I had watched the entire wretched mess.
I had so many questions.
Is this where Aniston's career resides? Did she owe him a favor? How did she agree to this? Whose idea was the mustache? As bad as it was, is this the best Sandler movie in a decade?
Then I went to his IMDb page to see when he'd last made a movie that I would freely watch if I stumbled it across it on TV. The answer? Spanglish ... in 2004.
I began dating my wife in 2005, which means that I haven't seen a good movie from Sandler since Vince Young's light switch flipped at Texas during his sophomore season.
Yet, while the movies have been mostly terrible, I feel like I keep giving Sandler chances like he's a crazy family member of mine ... always hopeful that the best of him will show itself, even if it's been 15 years since the best of him has showed itself.
Therefore, in honor of another wasted two hours, I give you the 10 worst Adam Sander movies I've personally seen, while hoping peak Sandler will reveal himself at some point.
(Note: Little Nicky is a terrible movie that is a guilty pleasure of mine, so it doesn't make the list. Don't you dare judge me.)
10. Blended
9. Just Go With It
8. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
7. Pizels
6. Grown Ups
5. That's My Boy
4. The Do-Over
3. The Ridiculous 6
2. I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry
1. Jack and Jill
No. 10 – And Finally ...
This will be the last column you'll see from me for possibly a week or two, as I prepare to head off for a little vacation time at some point later this week. You kids be good for @Suchomel while I'm gone.
2. Word is that Suchomel loves the abuse, so I am piling on ;-)
3. Have a fantastic vacation. HookEm.
